Comments - BLISS_

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I really loved the choice to capitalize the word bliss throughout the poem to give it the punch you were looking for, and the meter was well established. I felt like I was being taken on a journey through a time not so different from our own. But give some thought to solidifying a time, I felt like I was a little thrown about, not in a bad way, but in a way that disoriented me a little as I read. Whether that was a choice of yours I don't know but that's what I have to say on the matter. Over all, a very good poem, and inspiring to the reader. Keep it up!

9 years agoReply

TheGreatEscaper

Thanks! I hadn't thought about the time issue, but I tend to be a little chaotic with my writing so thanks for pointing it out.

9 years agoReply

Sarah Louise

I really liked this, especially the last stanza. The last few lines in particular were incredibly poetic and full of imagery!
I got a dystopian-type vibe from this, I don't know if that's what you were going for?

9 years agoReply

TheGreatEscaper

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I was going for a kind of 'dark world' feeling - but whether it's dystopian or realistic is entirely up to you.

9 years agoReply

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