Aww! Thanks! I'm so glad you can see the cartoonish side to it, because I was hoping I showed that aspect of the story enough. Also I totally agree with that last note about Reece being a rival of your character, Aaron. I can totally see that as well!

Ooh, I really liked some of you're points. I don't want to go discrediting you or anything, but for most of your questions and critiques I have explanations. For your first in line commentary I would like to bring up that Sarah is homeless. Honestly any job she could land would be great in her eyes, because she was living on the streets. Did I not explain that well? I will be going back to read over my story with many of you're points in mind. Anyways your second point points out how weird it is that they left Sarah overnight in the dumpster. Well, let me first say did you notice how I mentioned a trash eating monster in the description? What I'm trying to say is, she isn't still in the dumpster. Okay, your next point is about the diner being unrealistically crowded. Well, it definitely, might be my fault for not explaining this well enough. What happened is, the diner was already full and they decided to squeeze someone else in because the person was very desperate, but they decide they cannot make an exception now, with the diner thoroughly crowded. I think the next point you make is completely true and helpful. The one about Casey not previously being described as in a bad mood. I'll definitely add that in. As well as your following point about the beginning seeming like a prologue. I'll fix those two things. I also understand your next point about the weirdness of the manager waiting outside and Casey just trusting her. What I'm trying to convey about these people is that they are both desperate to solve a problem. Casey needs to get a job because she's about 5 minutes from being thrown out of her apartment. The manager needs to find a cashier quick (it is explained later on why cashiers play a vital role at the restaurant). As for why the manager was outside in the first place, I have no explanation for that. She's just weird I guess, she was probably sweeping the concrete or something. I'll probably add that in to explain her being outside. Or, I'll take your advice and change it completely. You're next point is about the manager not being professional. Honestly, yeah, that was my intent. Do you know Fnaf? I swear I'm not a cringey fan I just can't think of anything else to compare it to. Anyways if you do know about the games, my restaurant is similar to the pizzeria in that game. The managers always hide stuff, they aren't responsible with documents, and they are typically kind of weird in general. That's what I'm trying to convey with the manager. Your next point about Casey not presenting herself well is really helpful. I thought that I probably didn't do a very good job at making her look desperate and nervous, because she wants a job. I will go back and fix some of her dialog. I also agree with your following point about a lot of people stuttering. I will limit it to only Casey and try not to throw it into lines of dialog randomly. Anyways, thank you for being very critical about the story. Most people just tell me it's great so you totally helped out. I don't mean to sound like a butt hole by trying to give explanations for everything you said. I really appreciate you and the time you took to tell me what I did well and what I didn't do so great on. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much.
P.S. Oh my gosh, I would never forgive myself if I made it a cannibal restaurant. I swear I'm not that tasteless!