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TheCourtFool

I have a little change to suggest; don't worry, I'm not trying to be rude. You say he's gotten desensitized to everything and that he's learned that emotions and talking are bad, and I thought that was established. But then you went and said that he'd get emotional really easily... It just made me a little confused is all. Well, hope that helps. :) Liked the story, by the way.

8 years agoReply

River Mecancy

To people he don't know he is cold hearted. But with friends like the narrator of the story he reveals his emotions.
She- the narrator can see through the "mask" he is wearing which is protecting himself from others.
I hope this clarified it a bit....
But thank you for the comment! :)

8 years agoReply

TheCourtFool

@River Mecancy, Ah, that makes much more sense... Well in that case, that's good! You should clarify that in the story as well.

8 years agoReply

River Mecancy

@Doylex2, OK I will work on it right now....
Let's see how I ad it

8 years agoReply

River Mecancy

@Doylex2,
I edit it know.
I hope its better know and doesn't cause any confusion anymore ^^.
I would be glad if there is anything else which needs to be edited.
So let me now please :)
Yours

8 years agoReply

TheCourtFool

@River Mecancy, Yeah, I just read it. It's good, I'm glad you cleared that up! :)

8 years agoReply

River Mecancy

@Doylex2,
I am glad that you comment your suggestion!
Thank you :)

8 years agoReply

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