Thank you for reading and commenting! I do plan on making each perspective longer, but that'll require even less of the focus to be on the girl. The whole point of the story was—and I'm going to use some of your phrasing, sorry—that the girl was "gone in a moment" for most of the narrators, and I really wanted to address the indifference I notice many people I know hold toward things in life, such as grades or other people's suffering.

Ah, but I'm rambling. Is there anything in particular you think I can fix, besides making the piece more memorable? Or maybe ways I can make it more memorable? (Sorry, it feels a bit lazy asking that, but I'm really not sure which direction to take for that.)