add more definitive words. make it less simplistic. ...but Have the new lyrics as the actual song and this the intro to that song. ;) 

so much can be done to this. :3

Ok this could work if a band like Daemon Hunter if they did it in a similar way to Last One Alive 

Only major flaw with this is your choice of where the breaks are, its not intense enough to need major instrumental parts like what Five Finger Death Punch do or like Apocalyptica 

This is the song we were waiting for! I was hoping to see the idea of a cure in there too, I don't know if that's kind of cheesy or whatever, but IDC, I LIKE cheese, so I was happy to see that line in there!