天亮，上班。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfuBKafN2d
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe7yt6KrgH
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb50FinTtZ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlsz2VTF2O
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14QzRGfrL9
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49E4CSeXvw
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu9I3HQtUE
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAyfGScqHE
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFdt3A6KzV
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNneip3uQeY
看不見，罷。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMdNLq78U2
天黑，下班。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgp6vBw8cAl
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ch0y3n1vI
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4hk6zWG2U
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvnShZsMNQ
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrAzxmSHkR
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdqYEeCs2A
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8kXHOYP2J
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazGKWg17Yl
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPgm8urGrI
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaN5U37HFD
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY9PMwE9sq
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GT9MvZa8l
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQI4nGc24IA
公司，午飯時間。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MW9q9zHdQ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCftlw2qfZv
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvY4vBlrsQ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfXJFdSsKZ
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSlNZR2RQN
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftuccj1TB2
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ewa0nFkHY
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2onc0eQog
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YVtBOszG9
還是……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26wugvgCDN
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7oj7Cn3eR
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ0rCptPR6
公司，工作。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPTkEzmtz4
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkBV2ylvV5
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xcztVvulG
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUMb6Xs7TM
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFPDNKXcu8
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRjnK5LEAu
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqP9nDkSLJ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMhzTuU13z
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfwVOUCSe9
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhJIYTS2AD
快意，笑了。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6zlJAnjNF
酒吧，喝酒。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1aOnUGyjM
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡET3ANpjyXw
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpIJoc4gKE
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomiIgJJ9ss
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpTXfEpADE
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoObVhPKr0
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEBk3igmhT
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEten0vub7b
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkho9SWG3M
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WIAw3UM3P
醉倒。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cd3CfHLQJ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxHgbT8Nth
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3i2bQtwoC
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa32F8T64O2
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLaSVIpPeT
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2ldSMTCjl
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJMLqdiyVU
假期，醫院。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5ex6o2NtE
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFkqTAHfFD
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyENm3UZbnW
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nSjsF09Zg
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiqEtB2fkd
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8CrEDoCpK
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjxiWqTA4B
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lDeC7x3gf
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMvikv8gOz
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK0ROs7moB
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsozJjn2xfo
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueuSi5B6K1
死寂。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBxJTXaxaA
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLw2yzkF1S
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g4VbIPmMe
回家，晚飯。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8YgSV8qsz
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTsgaLIkNL
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG6aPHvUEp
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILoonXV1o5
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPwFUGsIXX
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBvcMfkaj0
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tfUQjh96U
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6mIXjawx9
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gvCSh2SM1
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDmexMlUYO
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBVLVbKpFF
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYsKscRJF7
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRRTwPHNJ9
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF5e0sRjpi
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXiqc9SmYE
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZnnNm3oK2
男友家，床上。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHK5mWPRFP
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOGqeXFlT0
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOufpmLYdd
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xqMCbRcGB
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hVflPG9Bi
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkvAZ6IYI3
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLqyfaxEmv
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nIQ5bqC39
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90HSHwRa2w
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yuoVdjZD1
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHysREUl1OU
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidTsipdjXW
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3qsRqRpOx
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8NRrk7J4c
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp83kzYu2rH
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2jF8xoq4M
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi1pDFkfnj
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo4oFM04vX
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9YrwXQSDT
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7LDPq2Zdp
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF4lOHTEtD
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBG31enRt1
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2oep5FEch
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1CI2jyPMi
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGVUjZmUes
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmb1AmDkWdQ
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFxpuqDlgw
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImMZ9FQLHp
「在你體內。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a6IwQnEZ8
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyPVe2n5uw
「甚麼？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeryz24d6ka
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDitKiQZfV
「蟻。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskiFUYlVG3
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQkyszCOxp
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7n07ME1MJ
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGfFe6sp58
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJeLxE9h8z
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEfpKwp2Cm
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WAyYLJpDu
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2p5zHLuoH
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDrBpo0KOH
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3XvLFyUWo
「誰？」另一聲音反問。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDQLznhMAM
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ5JFjKpJ8
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6y0hKvrwe
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYIksXEkXe
靜。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGugD3lQEZ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpOiZYCeEN
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PxfvoyUlJ
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJZ2jp4zDk
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SKE80mqmz
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBG2GhQS2k
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdXaQuOa94
我：「我有精神病？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYnOiYL9Jk
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveTIQQT6B7
醫：「是情緒病。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqTj3FYPHi
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlL6bTcqic
我：「怎麼辦？」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6VBrpQo2Q
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2D7JzE79k
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6PkfYGj1R
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3LqjBia8D
我：「謝謝醫生。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaoG1CJfWz
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4cfCWO4Ra
醫：「不用謝。」269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSZzFVHoXq
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyNfunz4Al
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaJeXaz1i5
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj4nUbAMMy
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXCHEmJvzo
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqGrzzlfL7
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kNjDPdWp2
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4pHUaTraT
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZQBBYAEjC
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9d7o1WUAJ
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAK7e2uPOD
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnbV9jJlNT
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBHOqddHP5
……269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E4kgMrX6Q
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFnufaCIbg
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU10EkCkzq1
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNUq9VvC0X
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPXhlqeWL0
and then Add to home screen.