「去哪？」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEez4059aDx
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngTVnW75a7
「急事。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxkFdNxMmz
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWglXRyUf6h
「你不吃晚餐？」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmeHsJ7amv
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet3p1mJPHR
我沒應答，逕自出門。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVY2fxVwcj
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF78K3qxV15
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87YRSULvBt
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEypL7EcSqE
難以言喻的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1iNpYyKXM
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNifbrfNJOA
長嘆。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8xFgIjpxx
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi30x1GOB0R
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5pT9dhZql
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqElFKdAPi
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7esLlLz87
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTdhcoMvk6
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnViQXDlbe
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4iUoQI25A
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuE1eS3eXo
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTMFEVYr11
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskz9dSF3DT
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByrvsAJvrq
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0pIKVPRDq
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2YtRhBC6J
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0qzuScKfw
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU2DlCGYyq
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFYNYkl8WN
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7ApnVC5zM
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYjLS2Q4IJ
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS1ZcmRjOR
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBr8ZDnryd
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQi7P2msSEa
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ923rLfJz
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7rpvHdBJt
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTfpS7uMF5
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifndULTn4v
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Kws4Puozk
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa3RYAUDIG
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKKFPKYBhu
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZItUHSb9zt
註定的。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVdFZcDm4E
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLLbGrtDvY
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCVmLWTNfv
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESvywMNUfy
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh8b1pjRDC
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRqzrzfl2y
停步。猶疑。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHaL8HImSW
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTvYDTRf05
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTgyHKY82j
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmh2QnRBw3
轉身。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbNj9nSDvV
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcABOoh3XbX
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UeVD1SbOR
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvuti2KDZU
我回身走去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqcd2KIsDu
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLv9B13Q8X
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkLJIZk1r6
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dQ1YQwJlE
把小狗抱入懷內。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbvPgU6uC8
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzG3huaTYI
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudfsVQi3LI
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOQEqSFyUT
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhuqHKGRxH
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzl5lS2vT3
海風？海濱公園步道？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0glAkE96Y
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KH0cKoXou
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18JtqtSrTM
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktSfmmsHNC
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgvtm1bvSW
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHPsjczw82
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmRXAJt004
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo3zqFThgW
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSShDpyxBRA
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcscWsD9cv
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GJeUDxDIE
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU19O16xcW
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPK0Ka6Saj
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIBwUh8bXr
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObjUMkBvns
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9KHXaYeng
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxagGaYbHG
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlwMGjeRdn
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvoFAndB53
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1zTC5YtEu
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavyitM72mL
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TyWsM0czG
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mE3yhQ9Zb
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ifYAwuqMu
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFLff83Rcp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErxFO9KnEO
鬱悶何來？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CtfSytNRI
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNtDQjfZQ4
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus3b8o6Suj
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0MfizF0Jd
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EuGwtUdAw
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyZg33Zb3X
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjpP5Nq88C
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhpnfBIP9E
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb7v15fU53
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyVTjsYHYr
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwuipcSBvo
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ENmZ9dYFJ
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9dCCjpzDq
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMdMktQ8gy
然後呢？根本沒有然後。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9KlRBUQOp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH6idn5gEW
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAurj1sXVe
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifgJkg2mKK
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6lCYZ2TWu
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.56da2
and then Add to home screen.