我一直覺得人與人之間的相處除了緣份、信任與溝通外,還有一個很重要的元素——尊重。660Please respect copyright.PENANABghZzbMKbG
人跟人的相識到熟悉是需要一個緣分,因為某個契機而認識,因為某個契機而熟悉。660Please respect copyright.PENANARjBvwGjM5A
而熟了之後,想要更持久保有這份關係,必須信任彼此對這段關係的真心付出,因為觀念不同而好好溝通、磨合,然後,尊重彼此的不同與原則。660Please respect copyright.PENANAj4LOT2gMlj
「信任」在我寫過的小說中應該算是最明確被我安插在其中的一個主題,「溝通」則是次要。想聊聊「尊重」,所以其他先不談。660Please respect copyright.PENANAgY9sxQpyXY
660Please respect copyright.PENANASuwGCUF1oJ
不少人知道「尊重」兩個字怎麼寫,卻不知道該怎麼「尊重」不同的想法與言行。660Please respect copyright.PENANAmJ791Tq8QB
例如A跟B在為了進餐廳吃飯,應該表現優雅吃,或者該如往常的吃法吵架——不要笑XD我真的看過有人因此吵架啊!660Please respect copyright.PENANArbL9pqEkbq
A:你到底懂不懂得什麼叫做尊重我啊?我在跟你說正經的話題耶!660Please respect copyright.PENANAY1mSBuhTXd
B:我很尊重你啊!不然我幹嘛在這裡聽你講話?660Please respect copyright.PENANAep55ctbzlV
這裡,到底是A有尊重B,或者B有尊重A呢?660Please respect copyright.PENANAJDZ4646cKO
有些人覺得是A,有些人覺得是B。660Please respect copyright.PENANAm4cbbOYB2L
事實上,問題出在心態。660Please respect copyright.PENANAy8cML7hPoi
如果B早就確定自己不會聽A的話,但是決定聽完A的話,只是不順著A疑似命令的話去做,那他有不尊重A嗎?660Please respect copyright.PENANAYQT9hMdzmE
如果A只是想要表達完自己覺得應該怎麼做,並不是要逼B接受自己的做法,那麼A有不尊重B的不同想法嗎?660Please respect copyright.PENANA0fnGsSSGEW
660Please respect copyright.PENANAe1AN4cOS9H
一個朋友C喜歡問我意見,C的想法跟做法常常跟我大不相同,甚至是我無法認同的,但是我接受這是她的個人特質,也不對這些事情多嘴什麼,除非她特意問我。660Please respect copyright.PENANAh3DWI0h7hH
有時為了避免她想逼我說出「我同意妳」的看法,我會以狀聲詞簡單帶過,因為當我說出「這麼說也對」時,C會對別人或在網路上說:「XXX這樣說這件事,我也覺得是這樣」。事後因為這段話出事時,就變成我是罪魁禍首,然而這看法是她自己的,並非我。660Please respect copyright.PENANAPeMBXQjSBS
這朋友會尊重不同的意見,但是,越熟就越不尊重別人提過的原則。660Please respect copyright.PENANAeGN7NA9gDn
660Please respect copyright.PENANAx5qwPKuSo2
尊重是雙向的。660Please respect copyright.PENANAYTccfzImdx
今天一個好友的想法、個性、習慣等跟我不同,我會去了解,但是不會逼對方跟我一樣,如果對方有什麼原則、禁忌、地雷,我會盡量記得,提醒自己別這麼做。同樣地,我希望對方也是這樣對我。660Please respect copyright.PENANAxETSHWlEa9
我這人很好開玩笑,也很會跟朋友起鬨亂鬧,但是拿某些私事的玩笑重複鬧我,我會生氣。660Please respect copyright.PENANA3o7rMGaeDE
當我說出我很介意時,表示我很介意,不是在開玩笑。660Please respect copyright.PENANAs02idpCRqU
我尊重你不同於我的一切,也請你尊重我。660Please respect copyright.PENANAXFbH53Do3E
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自以為善意的傷害
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自以為善意的傷害
Author:
鶖翎

Published:
Sep 29, 2016
ISSUE #2
你不尊重我,我又何必尊重你?
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