基改少女與她們的戰火敘事曲 - 第四章贖罪之一

控制室裡，白里感覺自己的意識正在匯聚，接著心跳逐漸回復，她依稀聽見外頭傳來的紛鬧。

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「好亮……」螢幕的燈光刺痛著白里已經習慣黑暗的雙眼。

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感覺艙室變得乾淨了一點，但也可能是自己的錯覺。

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她發現左臂上多了份不屬於自己的重量。

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「這是怎麼回事……」對左手的控制權早已失去，指尖的知覺也喪失殆盡，麻木感從末梢蔓延，覆蓋整個下臂。

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然而白里並不因此感到恐懼：「或許，我的心也終於要和臂膀一樣，失去感覺了吧。」她笑著，用右手把自己軀體撐起，試圖讓下床能一如往常。

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「意料之外的簡單……」除了手臂的問題，白里身體並無任何不適。

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「白里姐姐！早安！」辛格爾不知道從哪裡冒出來打招呼道：「等等喔，池祭姐姐在外面！」她又跑又跳的躍出控制室，朝氣蓬勃的樣子很難讓人想像在白里醒來之前，她的表情是多麼憂心忡忡。

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白里困惑的看了自己的手臂，白色繃帶把塑膠板綑綁固定，再用沾上灰塵的淡灰三角巾包覆作為支撐。雖說是簡易的骨折包紮程序，但絲毫不馬虎，左手可以很穩固的掛在胸前。

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沒有劇烈碰撞、沒有撲空摔倒，她怎麼也想不通自己受傷的原因。

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「或許，答案就在跟特米利恩深入洞窟後，失去的那段記憶裡。」白里這麼想著，或許自己當時會用劍指著她，也跟這些有關。

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「白里近衛官！」池祭跑進控制室，她臉上緊繃的愁容終於舒展一點：「太好了妳醒了！」

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「我的手……怎麼了？」白里問道。

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「這是骨折。」貝蕾納接著走進，她聳聳肩後接下池祭遞出的報告書：「我還想問你 reason 呢。」

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她的表情比平時陰沉不少。

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「我……不知道，這幾天沒受過任何傷害。」白里嘗試回想起什麼，卻什麼也想不起來：「會不會是探勘時被落石擊中了？」

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貝蕾納搖頭：「應該 impossible，妳昨天吃晚餐的時候還可以正常活動。吃完晚餐後呢？有發生什麼事嗎？Is any thing happened？」

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「唔……沒有……」即使時間對不上，白里仍覺得遺失的那段記憶疑點重重：「我有事必須找特米利恩！」

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她快步離去，雙眼直盯前方彷彿已下定決心要找出真相，卻被池祭拉住停止了行動：「妳先休息啦！特米利恩她……」

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「她一定知道些什麼！」

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「但她已經離開了啊！」

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「什麼？」

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「不是那個離開啦！」池祭趕緊撇清：「她說著什麼贖罪就離開母艦了啊！」

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「怎麼會……」白里起初還有些懷疑，但環視附近幾人的表情後，她也停下了動作：「真的嗎？」

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「嗯。」三人同時點頭。

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白里失落的坐回彩色拼貼的床單上，明明曾經是多麼的不信任，現在自己竟然會為她的離去感到擔憂與不知所措。

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「啊，原來我的感情還在。」她發現她並沒有失去任何感覺，只是一切發生的太突然，太不真實。

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池祭似乎看穿了白里的心思：「恐懼自己感受不到恐懼，也算一種恐懼喔！」三年來連續訂閱百合月刊，她對白里的思緒早已瞭若指掌，掌握白里的心事也不再艱難。

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「也是。」白里笑笑著回道：「話說，如果追上我們特米利恩呢？做得到嗎？」氣氛再次變得嚴肅。

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即使不能認可特米利恩為爭奪權位的小動作，白里還是不想失去任何一個同伴。

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「我想，特米利恩堅決離開應該也有自己的原因吧。我覺得她是好人。」不知道這樣的感情是否也屬守護者基因使然，她仍願意這麼相信著。

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