/story/168913/來互相評論小說開頭吧/issue/6
來互相評論小說開頭吧！ - 我很喜歡故事的角色互動 | Penana
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來互相評論小說開頭吧！
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來互相評論小說開頭吧！
ENTRY #6
Author: 小春
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
來互相評論小說開頭吧！
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
ENTRY #6
我很喜歡故事的角色互動
Author: 小春
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
1 Min Read
105 Words
No Plagiarism!3iNf5PszJLpmDVRnDG9Rposted on PＥNAＮＡ

看了序章、第一章

缺點：描繪地很深，但有點太深了。

例

序章：金髮像被阿波羅親吻過、唇不點而紅，眉不畫而翠。

第一章：我會改成「在高二C班裡，教室後方有一名少女獲得了眾人的暗暗打量。」省略中間的細節。

244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37GT4WT7xH

優點：人物對話跟內心戲寫得很好，能夠很好的進入故事。244Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1NBqjFu1y

216.73.216.56

ns216.73.216.56da2
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