/story/168913/來互相評論小說開頭吧/issue/6?load=0
來互相評論小說開頭吧！ - 我很喜歡故事的角色互動 | Penana
arrow_back
來互相評論小說開頭吧！
more_vert
  • info_outline Info
  • toc Table of Contents
  • share Share
  • format_color_text Display Settings
  • exposure_plus_1 Recommend
  • coins Sponsor
  • report_problem Report
  • account_circle Login
share bookmark_border
info_outline
format_color_text
toc
comment 3
exposure_plus_1
coins
Search stories, writers or societies
Show More Tags
Continue ReadingClear All
More
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
See more results for ""
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
Turn on notifications
Later
2nd
來互相評論小說開頭吧！
ENTRY #6
Author: 小春
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
來互相評論小說開頭吧！
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
ENTRY #6
我很喜歡故事的角色互動
Author: 小春
Published:
Nov 21, 2024
1 Min Read
105 Words
No Plagiarism!T8KhMmvIlXhAFHJRxXl0posted on PＥNAＮＡ

看了序章、第一章

缺點：描繪地很深，但有點太深了。

例

序章：金髮像被阿波羅親吻過、唇不點而紅，眉不畫而翠。

第一章：我會改成「在高二C班裡，教室後方有一名少女獲得了眾人的暗暗打量。」省略中間的細節。

233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI11aLvdRms

優點：人物對話跟內心戲寫得很好，能夠很好的進入故事。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qPMGXuOzM

216.73.216.41

ns216.73.216.41da2
Comments (3)
BOOKMARK
+RECOMMEND
LIKES 3
READS 229
BOOKMARKS 1
Sponsor
Login with Facebook or Sign up/Login to comment or bookmark!
< Prev Issue
Next Issue >
Click to load the next chapter
Happy喵
靈貍莊缺看板娘
子不語
X
X
Login first to show your name as a sponsor.

Pena Coins Credit Card

×
來互相評論小說開頭吧！
Other
Community Vote
✪ Submission Closed
Contest Holder:
未瑾瀾
宣傳 評論
Report this story
×
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:

Font Size:

Line Spacing:

Paragraph Spacing:

Load the next issue automatically


Reset to default

X
×
x
Proceed

arrow_back
×
×

Install this webapp for easier offline reading: tap and then Add to home screen.