好痛。247Please respect copyright.PENANAoT0dbWTcg5
247Please respect copyright.PENANANPLEsifMQP
好痛,卻哭不出來。247Please respect copyright.PENANAuY6NyJLyzh
247Please respect copyright.PENANAKt0BVvORXL
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。247Please respect copyright.PENANAK6v3oBJbSX
247Please respect copyright.PENANAO82AIG4YSs
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。247Please respect copyright.PENANA3Z4615cXnh
247Please respect copyright.PENANAlXy7WxCFMx
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。247Please respect copyright.PENANATUIJKRLuc9
247Please respect copyright.PENANArZIA0c4cJg
『你現在在哪裡?』247Please respect copyright.PENANAaA51VRYol5
247Please respect copyright.PENANAElCakyUDHV
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。247Please respect copyright.PENANAOHWS5iGn0L
247Please respect copyright.PENANAg2RExr4NAk
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。247Please respect copyright.PENANAUV585E0XX2
247Please respect copyright.PENANAukAFmDtCjL
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。247Please respect copyright.PENANAVZzJUtcmq1
247Please respect copyright.PENANAZvzGsPN0rF
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。247Please respect copyright.PENANAa8RgTyhypl
247Please respect copyright.PENANATnyg1vjGB1
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。247Please respect copyright.PENANAsOs17KLfEa
247Please respect copyright.PENANAXUHTCoDbm9
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。247Please respect copyright.PENANADsWRPii7Mt
247Please respect copyright.PENANAUPVwbboH2i
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。247Please respect copyright.PENANAXZYSE2tjPv
247Please respect copyright.PENANA5q7I0Dcxzk
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。247Please respect copyright.PENANAFkx8po5nrO
247Please respect copyright.PENANAuMA0XIemoV
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。247Please respect copyright.PENANA0BuuZSN3ED
247Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4PxUubedF
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。247Please respect copyright.PENANAjhTzP9YvtD
247Please respect copyright.PENANAyKnH4YUaRv
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。247Please respect copyright.PENANAg4CuNwrUsN
247Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0sFd2E1NH
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。247Please respect copyright.PENANA9DEUEuSPEb
247Please respect copyright.PENANAsXKjbC0Ioq
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。247Please respect copyright.PENANAUaucgU1YqM
247Please respect copyright.PENANA2AdIltP9Ly
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。247Please respect copyright.PENANA5tbbv2ASE8
247Please respect copyright.PENANAwlUtxUsLWW
又是這個奇怪的問題。247Please respect copyright.PENANAgS1PCGezcu
247Please respect copyright.PENANAwAwSRNIU07
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。247Please respect copyright.PENANA9buxVMKSk7
247Please respect copyright.PENANApO6RTdYEoK
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。247Please respect copyright.PENANATPExLLGO1O
247Please respect copyright.PENANAwMxV6hK8ik
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。247Please respect copyright.PENANAXXWrisQVWA
247Please respect copyright.PENANAZQv4zNY3YC
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。247Please respect copyright.PENANAsZNGDZZu4p
247Please respect copyright.PENANAASLTwgEwec
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。247Please respect copyright.PENANAtIlVpVHvSR
247Please respect copyright.PENANA97bRz2p00v
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。247Please respect copyright.PENANAmVO3KHKhbf
247Please respect copyright.PENANAj5ksCw1tch
高斯死了。247Please respect copyright.PENANAIqpbCpLPjP
247Please respect copyright.PENANAqKsE5uaDXz
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。247Please respect copyright.PENANAkkKLrRkSmT
247Please respect copyright.PENANAk3kKkPzyfJ
『就因為這樣?』247Please respect copyright.PENANAlSvcfNNpdM
247Please respect copyright.PENANAgRYPj2tJnc
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。247Please respect copyright.PENANAcHo3cEefGQ
247Please respect copyright.PENANAnSXoUJL03Z
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。247Please respect copyright.PENANAuN9gBd4kfQ
247Please respect copyright.PENANAFRSkJoviaM
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。247Please respect copyright.PENANABmBplfdRoK
247Please respect copyright.PENANAn2dfDmGbE4
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。247Please respect copyright.PENANAq1LFfbpD49
247Please respect copyright.PENANAfkAabWoCXh
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。247Please respect copyright.PENANAS0wTNz5EFw
247Please respect copyright.PENANAjnB14G6RSu
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。247Please respect copyright.PENANAG6oISUvh1f
247Please respect copyright.PENANAGPvHASwa4t
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。247Please respect copyright.PENANAmTypllYkDZ
247Please respect copyright.PENANAwrDIp8YWeC
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。247Please respect copyright.PENANAEQVoXk6960
247Please respect copyright.PENANA0VcKPVLyxs
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。247Please respect copyright.PENANA7QYRStYakq
247Please respect copyright.PENANAlzeFc76iy0
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。247Please respect copyright.PENANAmZSk5HqOZH
247Please respect copyright.PENANAAlzyLAN5YB
艾瑪去世了。247Please respect copyright.PENANATi8LmWQWnx
247Please respect copyright.PENANAEY36leGfWC
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。247Please respect copyright.PENANAQq4VsH8keh
247Please respect copyright.PENANAv5RkHBRRAX
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。247Please respect copyright.PENANARm9oHv7js8
247Please respect copyright.PENANAPVANX0DVmB
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。247Please respect copyright.PENANAjy3PSVZM8F
247Please respect copyright.PENANAzB7YJV39pk
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。247Please respect copyright.PENANAgBW0tHI5Gq
247Please respect copyright.PENANAhRYnEH72J2
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。247Please respect copyright.PENANAwqfL4RHqN7
247Please respect copyright.PENANAajOdzTHKWv
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。247Please respect copyright.PENANAUEsg7SwRG1
247Please respect copyright.PENANACZEeo2J2LR
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。247Please respect copyright.PENANA0T5fdThPu8
247Please respect copyright.PENANAObY06nQKaE
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。247Please respect copyright.PENANAv4hBYaErqh
247Please respect copyright.PENANAGCGsxiakFu
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。247Please respect copyright.PENANA5Vciz98wLj
247Please respect copyright.PENANAaXUlUah5xR
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。247Please respect copyright.PENANALfwBmXyWyR
247Please respect copyright.PENANA8HhIIkeumx
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——247Please respect copyright.PENANAwtW8VVnDOg
247Please respect copyright.PENANAV5WaeOLRB4
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。247Please respect copyright.PENANAatzg3oiAtm
247Please respect copyright.PENANAVGfeUrmhJH
我們一樣痛。247Please respect copyright.PENANAlPZOO4pzlz
247Please respect copyright.PENANACR59i7IWJr
——我現在在哪裡?247Please respect copyright.PENANAtYwB2lisTc
247Please respect copyright.PENANAspbH6MXX5D
好痛。247Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5REBTk42s
247Please respect copyright.PENANAwFZ2R3MT6B
好痛,卻哭不出來。247Please respect copyright.PENANAxQYAjn8tub
247Please respect copyright.PENANAZRWX4pUVlo
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。247Please respect copyright.PENANA7yBzMNKybo
247Please respect copyright.PENANAGYuG3PRTPj
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。247Please respect copyright.PENANAGrOcDB8YMI
247Please respect copyright.PENANAg8x4dvJoPQ
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。247Please respect copyright.PENANAqPgCekdSeU
247Please respect copyright.PENANAI4Am6TlTNl
好痛,好憤怒。247Please respect copyright.PENANAeEkPukKTyR
247Please respect copyright.PENANA2XzV1aR0C5
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。247Please respect copyright.PENANAXler2XRuSQ
247Please respect copyright.PENANABJbPhzj7WG
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。247Please respect copyright.PENANAzntiId2vbW
247Please respect copyright.PENANANo2muntFRw
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。247Please respect copyright.PENANAf2H7zCTFHX
247Please respect copyright.PENANA8TjenygpOC
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。247Please respect copyright.PENANAGbLmOxJY1g
247Please respect copyright.PENANAKRHsQbm3Dy
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。247Please respect copyright.PENANAbhc1UmA8TR
247Please respect copyright.PENANAshVlNdPsqP
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。247Please respect copyright.PENANAs7zGcfMzEa
247Please respect copyright.PENANAkp2COHRElQ
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。247Please respect copyright.PENANAkfy40EaDkn
247Please respect copyright.PENANAgoZy8Q54ru
『艾瑪:』247Please respect copyright.PENANAjnmltsCnRD
247Please respect copyright.PENANAA9NtsDsENV
『來地圖上找我。』247Please respect copyright.PENANA8rIeJWcliz
247Please respect copyright.PENANAUgiXv199h4