bipolar的日常 - 我想做一個社工#12

我想做一個社工

19/1/25

我目標係做一個好嘅社工但我想做嘅係輔導 CP 但而家好多種原因

我已經放棄咗CP 唔知大家有冇同我一樣一到夜晚就好emo

好驚自己做唔到一個社工幫唔到人嘅社工

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社工做嘅嘢真係好有限做唔到嘅嘢真係好多我唔想做一個咁嘅（佢）社工令到佢幫嘅人好絕望

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我就係其中一個每當我抑鬱症發作

我唔知搵邊個好我真係好驚我好唔想比人見到我咁樣

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我就每次都自己一個係學校WC 自殘我當時真係好驚好驚我好唔鍾意自己咁

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我讀psych我好明白我真係好嚴重

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我中一嘅時候我已經唔敢相信我竟然有情緒病我記得好清楚我問我自己

呢兩個禮拜有冇唔開心？呢兩個禮拜有冇緊張？等等好多野我全部都係話冇我當時鬆咗好多

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但有一個月我開始有幻覺幻聽想死嘅心都有我明明讀psych 我點解可以有情緒問題就好似你係自己專業上面失敗咗一樣

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我有情緒問題我點可以做社工去輔導人哋我連自己都救唔到我去救其他生命？會唔會太可笑．．．我知道社工都係人但我過唔到自己個關

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社工對我來講係啲咩嘅存在呢？

可以係一個唔可以講自殺嘅存在「學校社工」

我好唔鍾意佢真係好pk 逼我簽紙乜野自殺自殘唔關學校事唔簽唔比我返我當時仲要係醫院啱啱

醒

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社工……. 嗯

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21/5/25

若澄

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