After Retirement, the Demon King Became an Office Worker (and Hates Mondays) - Turns Out My Familiar Signed Up for "Devil Uber" and Now Runs a Holy Water Delivery Service

[1] "Your Majesty, I've Found the Get-Rich-Quick Scheme!"

At 3 AM, my familiar suddenly kicked open the door, waving a glowing phone displaying:

『Demon Uber · New User Registered!』22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XzfzIWln2
『Current Orders: 17 · Rating: 4.9★』

"You... registered using my social security card?!" I grabbed and shook it.

"Wrong! I used the Demon Castle ruins as the business address!" It proudly pulled out a wad of cash. "Look! Just delivering 'Holy Water Takeout' to Heroes earned us ¥3780!"

I squinted at the order details—

Delivery Notes:22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nU4dAmKrs
"To Celestial Enterprises HR Dept. Note: Extra spicy, please."22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFsgWY2zRq
(Customer Name: Hoshino Akira)

[2] When the Holy Sword HR Starts Relying on Demon Deliveries

The next day at work, I found Hoshino's desk piled with "Hell Specials":

"Exorcism Coffee" (actually the familiar’s footwash mixed with espresso)
"Angel Cake" (fermented with "blessed mold" scavenged from the Demon Castle ruins)
"Memory-Restoration Potion" (just electrolyte drink + highlighter fluid)

"Your recent takeout... is unique." She sipped the "Holy Water Special," her pupils faintly glowing gold. "Tastes just like the sulfur springs from Hell's Seventh Layer 300 years ago."

Sweating bullets, I heard the familiar frantically typing in the air vent:22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYZ7rQC2Tz
"Customer may be regaining memories! Suggest upgrading service—add 'Hero Childhood Photos' premium package? (+¥200)"

[3] The "Goddess System" Sends a Janitor—Who’s Actually an Angel!

Crisis struck during lunch break.

A "janitor" in a baseball cap appeared in the break room, his mop leaving glowing scripture trails on the floor.

"Suspicious deliveries... must be purified." He lifted his hat, revealing a halo drone (Heaven’s latest tech), and lunged at the familiar’s "delivery insulated bag"!

"That’s my lunch—!" I fake-wailed while secretly activating the Demon Uber Emergency Protocol.

BOOM!

The bag exploded, releasing three hellbats that spewed flames while clutching receipts:22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw780PlaxH
"1-STAR WARNING! Celestial user 'Michael' has not paid the 'Sacred Cleaning Fee'!"

[4] "Your Delivery Has Been Upgraded to a Fated Duel"

Hoshino suddenly kicked the door open, her holy sword pointed at the "janitor": "Headquarters never dispatched a field angel... Who are you?"

The man grinned, his skin cracking to reveal data streams: "HR Director NO.1, you’ve been flagged as an 'anomalous employee' by the system."

Glowing chains descended from the ceiling—but this time, they shackled Hoshino!

"Ludwig!" She shouted my full name while struggling. "Use the 'spicy holy water' from that order!"

I suddenly remembered the delivery note and hurled her "special coffee" at the angel—

SSSZZZZT!

The "janitor" dissolved with a shriek—because the so-called "spicy holy water" was... the familiar’s Hell Hotpot Soup Base!

[5] Paid Cliffhanger: System Prompts "Memory Unlock" Payment Window!

Hoshino collapsed, panting. The inscriptions on her holy sword suddenly lit up:22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgs6xvU7ttI
『Memory Seal Remaining: 12% · Pay ¥300 to unlock full logs?』

ns18.188.181.58da2

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