81Please respect copyright.PENANA4UwqW4VEht
81Please respect copyright.PENANAh2FnGStggs
韓銘禮向來都很欽羨什麼都做得好的人。81Please respect copyright.PENANAlhmgsNNyfq
81Please respect copyright.PENANA8vfyzRWoaJ
心理學家曾經提及一種傾向,人們對於容貌較為姣好的人,會產生他們什麼都很在行的刻板印象。韓銘禮也是,容貌……或許比其他人、比端正要好看些許,還不至於什麼驚世絕豔,不過已經常被抱持莫名的期待。81Please respect copyright.PENANAUgWYLnaLlK
81Please respect copyright.PENANAU8Cl7FqsDS
長得好看的人應該要,各門學科都很出眾,包括文、理、體育、美術過人,不限縮於道德高標準,成為長輩期待有所成、同儕追逐的目標等。81Please respect copyright.PENANAsEtJf3fHbe
81Please respect copyright.PENANAgePuhGXJMo
但是,倘若人察覺自己抱持期待的對象,其實與現實有落差的話,他們並不會反思是自己無來由硬套上的標準過高,而是對不符合期待的人失望、指責、以至於謾罵,明明並不是這個人的問題,這個人卻從存在本身就是錯誤的。81Please respect copyright.PENANA9s3Rb8m9s5
81Please respect copyright.PENANAuz49nHWpCH
與生俱來的妍麗面容,在真的因此得到什麼利益之前,韓銘禮先面對到的是,擅自認定他應該要什麼都做得很完美的人,陰陽怪氣地對他指桑罵槐,在他被定義的「失敗」過後,從最初的親暱到疏離,不過是一瞬間的事情。81Please respect copyright.PENANArdBtMkNDzE
81Please respect copyright.PENANAI9OXMXHGRi
那麼有誰會相信,如果可以的話,韓銘禮情願生得普通一些呢?81Please respect copyright.PENANA29ydyNL294
81Please respect copyright.PENANACwV5ry3hr1
韓銘禮從很小的時候開始,就想著這樣的事情。81Please respect copyright.PENANAwiukpCoJju
81Please respect copyright.PENANALAakSv2Kqp
當然,最開始他就像所有缺愛的幼童會做的一樣,拼命地追逐著更好、更高的目標。81Please respect copyright.PENANAk7XTHB2lPE
81Please respect copyright.PENANAYws12Q4U7e
畢竟,童話不也是這樣說的嗎?81Please respect copyright.PENANArFPdWZgdBm
81Please respect copyright.PENANAmHwJZ9cwFU
──一定是因為我不夠好,所以無法被所有人喜歡,只要我夠好,你就不會討厭我。81Please respect copyright.PENANAVh3rfmaSm5
81Please respect copyright.PENANATtxx1EBZe3
太多的童話、神話、傳說、故事……都只說善有善報,只說刻苦耐勞,只說以德報怨,只說你該保持美好的品德、精益求精、不求回報、面對逆境仍積極向上、不忮不求,敘述這些警世寓言的人沒有告訴你,人有極限,身體也是、心靈也是、能力亦然。81Please respect copyright.PENANAW5D9eeVJOR
81Please respect copyright.PENANAcDpuCb5weZ
這是為什麼,孩子會用超出閾值的努力,追求永遠沒有盡頭的成就,並真心以為「別人做得到,我也可以」,從此以後,受到想被愛的欲求驅使,在遍體鱗傷中掙扎、在生死交界間徘迴,直到死亡或絕望,也沒有任何人跟你說:「你已經做得夠好了。你不需要努力,我也會愛你。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAl8lDG5Ulhf
81Please respect copyright.PENANAW8Xb3mrdO1
韓銘禮第一次察覺到這件事,是國內首屈一指的高中有學生自盡,媒體記者與師長都藉此評論:「這孩子受不了失敗,一丁點壓力都撐不住,白白浪費了珍貴的性命,你們千萬別學他。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAKkNi9fYB08
81Please respect copyright.PENANACy0EJQJxBW
「壓力」。81Please respect copyright.PENANAXFFqCyPBGd
81Please respect copyright.PENANAzuQ2QJeKGw
「失敗」。81Please respect copyright.PENANA8L9bY4X3zm
81Please respect copyright.PENANA4gD2KgWmLF
「浪費」。81Please respect copyright.PENANA7iex2ZjH41
81Please respect copyright.PENANAbj1omXARKs
「珍貴」。81Please respect copyright.PENANAmdoxeoKRKz
81Please respect copyright.PENANAMwL5uE1Ded
韓銘禮那瞬間,忽然聽不懂人們的語言。81Please respect copyright.PENANARBDTfAH3Iw
81Please respect copyright.PENANAeq43vQUyEw
要是長輩真心認為性命可貴,為什麼不肯先教會他們沒有什麼值得獻上性命,而是反復用那套為理想奉獻生命的邏輯,讓他們相信性命是最輕賤可拋的東西?81Please respect copyright.PENANAszFxy2wiFJ
81Please respect copyright.PENANAvQ4chzUDEB
為什麼不肯教他們,失敗並不可恥,而是告訴他們,這世界容不下任何汙點?81Please respect copyright.PENANAHXA21Frjc9
81Please respect copyright.PENANAPAJcqvsQui
為什麼要讓他們相信,沒有成就就是浪費生命與時間甚至努力?81Please respect copyright.PENANAARzgp9A5Wd
81Please respect copyright.PENANA7L9pH1RzSM
為什麼會將沒得到第一,果斷地盡數視為失敗?81Please respect copyright.PENANA4Kzzta7S4R
81Please respect copyright.PENANAShNX9f03k9
又是為什麼,最終能只用一句:「經不起壓力的廢物。」就帶過被逼死的人的一生?81Please respect copyright.PENANAuqlPcL21Vg
81Please respect copyright.PENANA67epQykhRN
韓銘禮從那一刻,放下了手中的筆,再也看不懂文字、再也聽不懂語言,別人喊他,他也反應不過來,他對外界刺激沒有任何反應,他聽見人們嘲笑他癡呆、讀書讀到傻了,也只是聽見。81Please respect copyright.PENANA11Dscc74cO
81Please respect copyright.PENANATQ6mJtyXUO
他還在呼吸、還有心跳,所以他還活著。81Please respect copyright.PENANAwUdABkpRfh
81Please respect copyright.PENANAee6BUxLs4x
他有一切該有的生理機能,他只是活著。81Please respect copyright.PENANA1hWOwsjgYa
81Please respect copyright.PENANAALZhFAb4EI
這就是多年以後,當他看見跟昔年的自己一樣試圖爬上女兒牆、向下墜落的池儒安,會不管不顧地將他扯下來的原因。81Please respect copyright.PENANARDAWyl8J8k
81Please respect copyright.PENANAAbcnBiPqvK
他既沒有打算說評斷池儒安做的是傻事、也不認為自己在救人,他只是……他只是在挽留當初的自己。81Please respect copyright.PENANAGpVLyx4O8E
81Please respect copyright.PENANANqFaNMjnxr
他只是希望當時也有人拉住他,告訴他,他其實還有機會,可以緩一緩,不用急著下定論,沒有到要直接寫下句點的地步。81Please respect copyright.PENANAJMrDUTznLi
81Please respect copyright.PENANAtGjZ25XPds
「為什麼是你在哭啊?」池儒安的聲音帶著難為情的軟糯,還有不安跟惱羞成怒。81Please respect copyright.PENANA0JqQrTsFeE
81Please respect copyright.PENANAQH1RasjJUo
韓銘禮在停不下來的眼淚中,愣愣地說:「因為我覺得,你真好啊。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAiwuOHCwQrK
81Please respect copyright.PENANAQZTRdIkqn7
「那是什麼意思?」81Please respect copyright.PENANAQS43jRXNPF
81Please respect copyright.PENANA5ChxoKBsTn
韓銘禮在池儒安狐疑的目光中用手背抹去淚水,歪著頭傻傻地微笑說:「你好啊,學弟。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAigtMNLKeke
81Please respect copyright.PENANAHROY5pmeRr
池儒安呆了一瞬後,趕忙推著韓銘禮、藉此起身,嘟囔著:「莫名其妙。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAZePLzarabL
81Please respect copyright.PENANAHoIPratcY5
韓銘禮按著磨石子地板站起來,拍掉褲子上的灰塵,瞥了一眼黯淡的天色,用力嘆了口氣後說:「那很快再見啦,路上小心。」並沒等池儒安應答,就直接下樓離開。81Please respect copyright.PENANAQpnfa90Ubq
81Please respect copyright.PENANAsiqOtlU5ez
後來總算成功和過去教過自己的老師重新約好時間,並如期到班上請學生替他寫問卷時,韓銘禮在瞥見底下座位上的池儒安時,友好地朝他輕輕揮手,被池儒安明確避開了。81Please respect copyright.PENANAZpPMNqQBQC
81Please respect copyright.PENANATFI5kGyjat
池儒安被老師指派收完所有問卷、交給韓銘禮的時候,已經到了下課時分,課業繁重的準考生們不是在睡覺、就是在外面聊天、只有零星幾個還有餘裕接著讀書,韓銘禮神色黯然,接過問卷的時候難掩失神,指尖擦過池儒安的指關節,導致有些問卷散落在地上,韓銘禮趕忙道歉並蹲下來撿,池儒安比他反應更快,已經整理好靠近他那邊的問卷,準備遞給韓銘禮。81Please respect copyright.PENANAs6xNJgFyX2
81Please respect copyright.PENANACQGpqlwyTx
「謝謝你,儒安……嗎?」韓銘禮不確定地問。81Please respect copyright.PENANAn0y4bcu5tg
81Please respect copyright.PENANAnMinl6xEPo
池儒安低頭嘀咕一句:「不客氣。」便要起來,韓銘禮伸手搭在他手腕上問:「你還好嗎?」81Please respect copyright.PENANAcWqXZZRgfk
81Please respect copyright.PENANAyBEoTyOua4
「我沒事。」池儒安並沒有先前那樣滿身帶著敵意,也並未全然收起尖刺,不反問韓銘禮是指什麼事,顯然打算和韓銘禮拉開距離。81Please respect copyright.PENANACGH1fhcL80
81Please respect copyright.PENANAbvXoWBlGa2
韓銘禮彷彿沒注意到這種氛圍一樣說:「要是之後需要進行個別訪談的話,儒安願意協助我嗎?當然,因為你未成年的關係,我會同時請老師也徵求你父母的同意。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAVZbYlm55jk
81Please respect copyright.PENANA341mbEYQP8
池儒安收回手,面無表情地說:「我沒有父母。」便頭也不回地走了。81Please respect copyright.PENANAB0FMGtUEKi
81Please respect copyright.PENANAW08xmVwVCm
被留下的韓銘禮呼出一口氣,原本呈現在臉上的柔軟笑意也逐漸收起,直到上課鐘聲再次響起,韓銘禮若無其事地回到和藹可親的神情,向來上課的任課老師打過招呼後,帶著蒐集好的問卷,離開了母校。81Please respect copyright.PENANA5pDuktFCTY
81Please respect copyright.PENANAlUWV4Q6R2m
由於是週末的關係,韓銘禮將問卷和少量的行李一起由租屋處帶回家中,家中的氣氛還是一如既往,韓銘禮不太在意地對著父親書房外的立鐘輕聲說:「我回來了,你還好嗎?」81Please respect copyright.PENANAqZeT0i85nk
81Please respect copyright.PENANAUZSsE7dj0Y
鐘擺穩定擺盪,速率不改,若是整點的話,還會發出鐘樓般的回音,就像從小看自己長大的老爺爺一樣。81Please respect copyright.PENANA9idXYPQaHM
81Please respect copyright.PENANAk0vxHw3Rel
韓銘禮佇足一陣子後,才帶行李回房中,將一些用不到的瑣碎東西整理好,他走出去,敲了弟弟的房門問:「鈗祈,你在嗎?」81Please respect copyright.PENANA67fsZW3UkN
81Please respect copyright.PENANALFl9z7sZw1
他和應門的韓鈗祈借了電腦輸入資料時,韓鈗祈將一枚質感細緻的方形信封遞給哥哥韓銘禮,韓銘禮接過來,聽著向來什麼都能完成得很好的弟弟,帶著難得的不自在大概提了一下希望韓銘禮參加婚禮的事情。81Please respect copyright.PENANAMiWISoC1k2
81Please respect copyright.PENANAu1EfHcFcIB
──直到老爺鐘恰如其時地將鐘聲響徹整幢房子,韓銘禮得體地笑著回:「鈗祈,你真好啊。」81Please respect copyright.PENANA230r4RKT8I
81Please respect copyright.PENANA3pDvozkZbn
81Please respect copyright.PENANA6IihycE87N
arrow_back
被灰姑娘從此以後留下的睡美人
more_vert
-
info_outline Info
-
toc Table of Contents
-
share Share
-
format_color_text Display Settings
-
exposure_plus_1 Recommend
-
Sponsor
-
report_problem Report
-
account_circle Login
Search stories, writers or societies
Continue ReadingClear All
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
被灰姑娘從此以後留下的睡美人
Author:
宮佟玉

ISSUE #4
3
LIKES 0
READS 77
BOOKMARKS 0
campaign
Request update 0
Sponsor
Suggest Edits

Click to load the next chapter
X
After each update request, the author will receive a notification!
smartphone100 → Request update
X
Sponsor again
Click to login
Login first to show your name as a sponsor.
Thank you for supporting the story! :)
Please Login first.
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:
Font Size:
Line Spacing:
Paragraph Spacing:
Load the next issue automatically
Reset to default
×
People Who Like This