警告:以下內容涉及敏感議題及部分特殊場面,若感不適,請立即關閉本文。
「我晚餐要吃什麼?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAuRPpPtqtbZ
放學後的走廊,一直走在前面的他突然回過身來。接過他遞來的衛生紙,我擦擦綴著餅乾碎屑的嘴角,四下張望,沒看到其他人。88Please respect copyright.PENANAWhJVNZZmIJ
「問我?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAoR0VNrscjp
「不然這裡還有別人嗎?」88Please respect copyright.PENANA5URFzQ2FIc
夕陽的餘暉透著簇簇綠葉散落在廊道間,一點一片地布滿視界。如果不是我剛剛搶了他一包35元的冰淇淋夾心並且手上還握著它悲催的殘骸,這一幕應該會特別像青春校園偶像劇——那種佔比三分鐘不到的,路人跟男主角的對戲。88Please respect copyright.PENANAax9njptbsf
「呃……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA1wvqKoqDAy
我心虛地看看手裡的犯案證據,再看看倒楣路過的那只有互通過名字的同班同學,有那麼一瞬間想說有。但見他掛著一副「我就看看你要怎麼回答」的自信笑容,視線還若有似無地投向我無措的小手,只得摸摸鼻子把話吞了回去。88Please respect copyright.PENANA6UOSmCStfE
「你剛剛…說想吃焗烤吧?那就吃焗烤。」思索片刻,我姑且回憶起他剛剛隨口帶過的話,試圖盡快敷衍過取去。88Please respect copyright.PENANAzN9BYv9MUE
「不要。」但他聞言,卻只是一邊繼續往前走,任性地搖搖頭,轉眼就否認了自己的說詞。「營養師說如果是朝健身的方向努力,就得要用健康的方式胖起來。」88Please respect copyright.PENANA4L1V48zrXW
「… 焗烤很不健康嗎?」無言地翻了個白眼,我沒有再往前跟去,而是轉過身,想回去找個垃圾桶清理一下自己的犯行,「而且你明明說他說可以。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAyu1FJAW295
「是可以啦,但是……」88Please respect copyright.PENANATJi5KlMnUO
他停下腳步,靠著欄桿等我,漫無目的地看向身後兩層樓下熱鬧的球場。淺金色的光芒點綴其上,將那號稱「系上第一病弱美男」的蒼白臉龐映得格外精美,鮮明地刻畫出他立體的五官。88Please respect copyright.PENANAssuVMO4m7b
「『呵呵,你就吃呀。』他是這樣說的欸?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAnusxDSyLo0
「那就是可以。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAnpmI6KaYwq
「也是啦…不過,還是不要好了。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAsFXLKGVJM5
「好喔。」整理完自己的犯案痕跡,我一身輕盈。喬了下背包的位置後,無視誇張地模仿營養師的他,再次往樓梯而去。88Please respect copyright.PENANAgh3uag76jG
「那不然…後門出去不是有那個…你們之前常點的健康便當什麼的,叫什麼盒子……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA71JnewxPi1
「我剛剛是有想過。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAe5kktKLOtE
他自然地跟上來,又自然地走回領路的位置,彷彿未曾停下腳步。88Please respect copyright.PENANAWKyQpQmpAl
88Please respect copyright.PENANAZtTkr0RQWp
就像一直以來一樣。88Please respect copyright.PENANAjwioUA6RXG
88Please respect copyright.PENANAD0DGYWIDtn
「但這樣還要繞路,」信步而下,他看著階梯,若有所思。「而且節食期結束了,我想吃點不一樣的。一直吃健康餐很膩,沒味道。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAbkEf0dId9X
「所以你就把早餐省了,十點多吃了碗小碗的牛肉麵,再慢吞吞地來上課嗎?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAX6xIo5ZCZ8
「……對。」88Please respect copyright.PENANA4GYWS9vlhc
難得看到他吃癟,我小小得意了一下,大發慈悲地跟著他停下腳步。88Please respect copyright.PENANA73JYxvpYkN
「總之,我想吃點不一樣的。」88Please respect copyright.PENANArOcMP2nF6l
「什麼不一樣的?什麼晚餐又營養又不營養?」88Please respect copyright.PENANABfWgcebhh0
「我想去看看前面的麥當勞,還可以找個位置準備下個月初的樂理考試。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAljWeEnITN4
聞言,我不自覺點點頭。這個月已經過了三分之二,想抓緊時間準備倒是合理。88Please respect copyright.PENANAUnUYV2Mr9C
不過……88Please respect copyright.PENANAwYThrQX1nh
「麥當勞…很營養嗎?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAuubjooPfX4
停在分別的校門,我努力搜索腦海中麥當勞的菜單。雖然我沒去過幾次,但以速食店的平均值來看,能入得了營養師的眼的應該屈指可數。88Please respect copyright.PENANAvP7fnM8xXW
「……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAYWjlB4V8jJ
他一下子愣住,似乎並沒有想過這個問題。不知道是下意識地把麥當勞劃分成營養餐食還是單純為了刁難我,我嚴重懷疑是後者。88Please respect copyright.PENANAshBpV4uw9H
「那…那個……」他撇過視線,裝作沒事:「現在去應該已經沒位子了吧,還是再找找好了。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAv214fwaR1E
……88Please respect copyright.PENANAVdSFrz1KTe
整我是吧?88Please respect copyright.PENANANw1fM1SOnF
「好喔。」88Please respect copyright.PENANADhprCyxI0l
還是一樣的回答,我滑著手機,往反方向的小徑而去。聽著他從不遠處傳來的關於晚餐選項的碎念,一邊感受到他消失在路的盡頭。88Please respect copyright.PENANAfxXUTetmAp
……88Please respect copyright.PENANAk0eajNma7M
「…晚餐…嗎?」88Please respect copyright.PENANABGctzMBFuf
混跡人群,我無神地望向天空。88Please respect copyright.PENANAXsO6FToLGc
「……是啊,他也是人,也是要吃飯的……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAPRIKOLbZUi
88Please respect copyright.PENANAFvmHNprREk
……88Please respect copyright.PENANAO0ktTiSDnr
………88Please respect copyright.PENANAnH2SqYcDS1
其實,我很嫉妒他。88Please respect copyright.PENANApZ6awFzLos
……非常嫉妒。88Please respect copyright.PENANAtQvgEpbVg1
88Please respect copyright.PENANAePHw8f5gQF
「……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAdE0jGsORB2
一個稱職的男主角大概就是那樣的吧?88Please respect copyright.PENANAVgNOKSASxJ
那種只要有心,萬事萬物皆會從命的支配力。88Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZeLVzkbQV
88Please respect copyright.PENANAgj7oU7ZCKt
生了一張足以被不認識他的人定義為高冷病弱系美男的相貌、不管怎麼吃都維持在固定身材的軀體、好相處的人格特質、優秀的學業成績、多元的課外興趣、高效的工作能力、深受師長及前輩們喜愛、優渥美滿的家庭環境……88Please respect copyright.PENANAU6fckC4ABl
不管哪一項,除了沒刀硬虐的青春假痛文學和前期乞丐後期霸總的成長型故事,這些tag打上去,基本上就可以確定是個男主了吧?88Please respect copyright.PENANAkgkumG7x7g
以外文舉例,聽說他一直到高二英文都不太起眼。但之後突飛猛進,為了想要去國外留學,一口氣拿下了雅思8.5分的成績。88Please respect copyright.PENANAATmi1vSPa7
課業外,以鋼琴為例,口口聲聲說著「只是學興趣」,卻轉眼就拿下了好幾座獎項。88Please respect copyright.PENANAcozZW0NNRc
88Please respect copyright.PENANAPJl4rQ3o0a
「呼……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA0MBguVpd3H
初夏,天已微熱。即使是鄰近6點的夕照,依舊讓人心煩。88Please respect copyright.PENANAPqygQGVOJN
「…好羨慕。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAZFZYR8YRXt
小提琴、鋼琴、寫作、歌唱、跆拳道、柔道……88Please respect copyright.PENANAnkU4l8ALIq
「…好羨慕……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA5rfmRpZICY
英文、西班牙文、德文、日文、程式設計、繪畫技巧……88Please respect copyright.PENANAUoYlVLv9uS
「…真的……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAGDS1imMmzZ
師長的厚愛、家人的支持,同學的傾慕……88Please respect copyright.PENANAZmKH72Ylks
「好羨慕…呢……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAwnQogJt37T
88Please respect copyright.PENANA13j6VS4mjN
我停在一棵歪七扭八的樹下,低下頭看著自己的腳尖,心裡突然一陣酸楚湧上。88Please respect copyright.PENANA4RYfMZSCji
「混帳…混帳東西……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA4mYOxYU7Xf
我知道的,這世上就是有些人如此美好而強大。光是一個念頭、一句想要,便足以無視大多數人嘔心瀝血的搏命。88Please respect copyright.PENANAWRSB6TLRJ9
「可是真的…真的好羨慕……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAYnUKNI90e5
我也知道,現在的自己不過是在經歷一場沒睡飽的歇斯底里。我見過他為了一份報告熬夜到兩三點,見過他為了考好英文檢定犧牲所有的自由時間,見過他為了寫好一份短文反覆修改數十遍……88Please respect copyright.PENANAQZSnzaba80
甚至剛剛,他連決定晚餐的因素都必須把樂理考試考量進去。88Please respect copyright.PENANAHPXbYq4eCm
「……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAOJ0M5DlUtH
我知道的。88Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1kbh5sMe6
真的。88Please respect copyright.PENANAQc3aQITHuk
我知道他不是傲慢自負的天之驕子,不是會把別人的辛苦用一句話敷衍掉的人。88Please respect copyright.PENANA7EJnlfV5fY
「…想要……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAwP50IcNeUS
但是,那又何妨?88Please respect copyright.PENANAbL4GOYz9eW
「好想要……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA1YSikHiXoe
畢竟,我就是這種陰暗的人。88Please respect copyright.PENANA6NHMIazoym
「…好想要…我也想…」88Please respect copyright.PENANA6rlN82ipuo
我也想要我的付出必定會有回報,想要被人認可,想要笑得那麼自信……88Please respect copyright.PENANAGvUAR35nNI
我也想要,有我的價值。88Please respect copyright.PENANAC1LD2Fd0sq
有錯嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANA7mvx8XcMug
我做錯什麼了嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANAXtMbwObPXP
不是男主角就不可以被認可,被需要,被喜愛嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANAZxhacMdRM0
就因為我是那種連立繪都沒有,從頭到尾只有剪影,連聲優都要跟無數路人甲乙丙丁共用的配角嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANAD55UKMoks2
是嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANAZkk34upVCM
是這樣嗎?88Please respect copyright.PENANAO8mHrs1lcb
「哈哈…哈哈哈……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAT7VCUsuw58
可是,我憑什麼?88Please respect copyright.PENANAXR6JEAsTPd
我憑什麼不能羨慕他?憑什麼不能嫉妒他?88Please respect copyright.PENANA2wzNV64g0R
88Please respect copyright.PENANAUgI4pOgqTq
『你是個怎樣的人嗎?唔… 善良的人吧?』88Please respect copyright.PENANA0Sq22OJ6xg
……88Please respect copyright.PENANA4DyHqZKRqX
『硬要說的話,我覺得你是那種善良的類型。』88Please respect copyright.PENANATym0OgS4Zi
不知道為什麼,腦海裡突然浮現出以前和其他人打發時間時玩過的小遊戲——用一個詞形容你抽到的人。88Please respect copyright.PENANAdaBfWLgGgX
『…我嗎?』88Please respect copyright.PENANA4S5haVeWua
『嗯,你。』88Please respect copyright.PENANA2WmugeQ4XR
他們很理所當然地點著頭,說著不可思議的話。88Please respect copyright.PENANAuYwp72hvXw
『是說你沒錯,有問題嗎?』88Please respect copyright.PENANA4bYocyoPAD
……88Please respect copyright.PENANAFfMbjF2vhD
「破遊戲。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAY939rDjMQV
是啊,我是個善良的人。88Please respect copyright.PENANAEBlkHCUKrv
「什麼破遊戲……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAiIyWT4v6Pt
我是一個會在別人痛苦時為他分擔,別人高興時為他喝采,那種路邊一抓一大把的,「善良」的模型。88Please respect copyright.PENANAWY2Zz9vgI3
「爛透了…簡直爛透了……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA133KvOmwSg
他們不知道。88Please respect copyright.PENANAr6iQ0vuLPp
一個善良的人才不會為了自己不如人就鬧脾氣,不會在背後做讓自己消氣的小惡作劇,不會像我這樣,這麼討厭一個對自己好的人。88Please respect copyright.PENANAUTTr3pv2tQ
「垃圾。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAlg9d0k5nbl
有光的地方就有陰影,而光芒越盛,陰影越暗。88Please respect copyright.PENANAvdMFfiNQ96
「什麼善良的人…簡直是一坨垃圾……」88Please respect copyright.PENANA1jKipIyI8z
他有他的光,而相處之下,我就顯得越發陰暗。88Please respect copyright.PENANAsZdK7uSMjF
所以,其實我很討厭他。88Please respect copyright.PENANAWpzn4qPl0u
非常討厭。88Please respect copyright.PENANAutkuquGZHE
「……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAGNOjXCHZtA
他有我沒有的才華、自信、樂觀、勇敢、毅力;我有他沒有的笨拙、卑劣、懦弱、悲觀、懶惰。88Please respect copyright.PENANAkzuksFNxkY
如果映襯法也可以是人生的一環,這大概就是一種互補吧?88Please respect copyright.PENANAHcb1JpcODB
一種單向的互補。88Please respect copyright.PENANAEO46wrC1aW
「…煩死了。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAZhjrhLrceP
大樓前,門邊一個小巧的石頭被我用力一踢,輕飄飄地滾向路肩。88Please respect copyright.PENANAYYbKKcwxYY
沒辦法,我力氣小,踢不動大的。88Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZRx6MBCtN
「真的…煩死了……唔?」88Please respect copyright.PENANAgA95yqat40
碎念到一半,手機突然傳來簡訊通知。88Please respect copyright.PENANAHLgvY8YvqU
我沉默地點開,正是那傢伙的訊息。
—他不給我拍88Please respect copyright.PENANA0O4qKepveX
—(影片)88Please respect copyright.PENANAMA5tCe1W8d
—盡力了
「…… 」88Please respect copyright.PENANAnuCAJCduRh
等電梯的同時,我點開附檔,赫然是他摸著他家的貓,試圖說服牠舉起前掌但最終失敗的影片。88Please respect copyright.PENANAJhuID3la9V
「啊…對了,手根球。」88Please respect copyright.PENANAWKOevUYRgn
花了點時間回憶,我這才想起他為什麼這麼做。下午,我偶然發現原來貓的腳掌與我印象中的樣子不盡相同。除了記憶中那幾個可愛而危險的小爪爪外,還有一個名為手根球的部位。於是我便向家有雙貓的他請求,請他有空時幫我拍下貓咪的手根球,讓我長長見識。88Please respect copyright.PENANAXowC2HojYP
「什麼啊……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAGNx3zQmcXF
我不自覺笑起來,一直不知不覺被逐漸模糊的視線也稍微清晰了點。電梯的數字不斷攀升,距離我要去往的地方已不是太遠。88Please respect copyright.PENANApmGPdac1Ca
恍然間,我開始有點捨不得。88Please respect copyright.PENANA8RkniebVcR
88Please respect copyright.PENANAy1cF9IK85b
—看來你們88Please respect copyright.PENANAw0CLxYMJ0q
—關係不好(88Please respect copyright.PENANAXQMbLdVNcO
—你自己看看後面拍的是什麼88Please respect copyright.PENANAWFb4NaCvAA
我還以為你被他打趴了×88Please respect copyright.PENANA3uDdRIGSq3
88Please respect copyright.PENANA1VB6lvaoZn
我笑著回覆,傳送出去後又點回影片,反覆播放那隻大胖橘生無可戀的死魚臉。高處的風稍顯涼意,微微驅散了心頭的鬱悶,讓我有勇氣多呼吸一次,多欣賞一下這世界的美好。88Please respect copyright.PENANAINhE2E0mj0
我很討厭他,真的。88Please respect copyright.PENANAU63K0MUS7m
但是……88Please respect copyright.PENANA3aAwnqPGng
88Please respect copyright.PENANApSzd0CMBhn
—我看了,所以才說他不讓我拍88Please respect copyright.PENANAzoHyFoM62S
—(圖片)88Please respect copyright.PENANAVZxY1NRfys
—有了88Please respect copyright.PENANArd3B8K2ZbO
88Please respect copyright.PENANARKfEFhgynp
「噗哈哈哈哈哈……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAi3VToW5SS5
點開圖片,大胖橘驚恐的大臉第一時間映入眼簾,讓人忍不住發出一聲爆笑。88Please respect copyright.PENANA19Xu57Fy1D
88Please respect copyright.PENANAyaG6T0Hkla
—看得出他一定是心甘情願88Please respect copyright.PENANAvWAg8S92is
88Please respect copyright.PENANAXcazznYJ11
我一邊笑,一邊努力防止手機被我笑到墜落樓外。88Please respect copyright.PENANAzplSZA9N5h
「什麼跟什麼啊……」88Please respect copyright.PENANAa0DITa8Ol3
笑出來的淚跟方才有些不同,指腹一樣地輕抹,卻不再窒息。88Please respect copyright.PENANAE1iajc9Mkz
彷彿剛才一瞥而過的,那些不堪入目的文字也變得沒有必要了。88Please respect copyright.PENANAPZ1HvbxVcj
88Please respect copyright.PENANAuKSb4MWupP
—欸欸所以88Please respect copyright.PENANAMq0XOoEeG0
—你晚餐吃什麼?88Please respect copyright.PENANA0nxlj71xVR
88Please respect copyright.PENANAgYtQP5ew8c
我很討厭他,但或許……88Please respect copyright.PENANAdDuvxUlcjA
我只是,覺得自己很討厭他,很討厭光。88Please respect copyright.PENANAPbooLSB4UZ
88Please respect copyright.PENANAnviwyKDhC4
—沒吃,還在找88Please respect copyright.PENANAzUvVAFIOp5
88Please respect copyright.PENANAQvhjSmN4rz
又或者……88Please respect copyright.PENANAe7lm7ocJvl
「…學!!同學!!!不要站在那邊!快下來!」88Please respect copyright.PENANAJVETFWtmsx
或者我討厭的,其實……88Please respect copyright.PENANAGqwZq2zGru
88Please respect copyright.PENANAOQ0kq2Tfna
—又在哪裡鬼混?88Please respect copyright.PENANAu5mmVgFlvN
—放學了不回家,怎樣,翅膀硬了是不是?88Please respect copyright.PENANAT3aGxfU1NA
—你還有沒有把我當你媽了?88Please respect copyright.PENANAUIsxPeFIF7
—真是跟人家說的一樣兒子都是白養88Please respect copyright.PENANAr7kjdrh4IG
—考上好學校有什麼用,不學學你妹88Please respect copyright.PENANAQZER56xFRt
—整天拉著張臉是做給誰看
—哥,你錢包最後那張一千塊我拿走囉88Please respect copyright.PENANAr4K6g5ewk1
—我今天要跟朋友出去逛街88Please respect copyright.PENANAXBDikcyxjU
—多花的錢回來再請款88Please respect copyright.PENANADLbF7wBZx3
88Please respect copyright.PENANAGC5VoRuKwr
……88Please respect copyright.PENANAQQDQEjMB81
其實,我只是討厭我自己。88Please respect copyright.PENANALXpzQvkPxA
討厭那個只敢笑著,只敢取悅他人的……88Please respect copyright.PENANAlusSYlfX4z
虛偽的垃圾。88Please respect copyright.PENANA9o2Va9k57m
「同學!!!!!」88Please respect copyright.PENANAIigRkoQjT2
88Please respect copyright.PENANAipqyQW8Gi9
總覺得…有點不捨。88Please respect copyright.PENANAJMCKtQHSKM
我大概是個狗派吧?不過今天,我稍微感受到了貓咪的魅力。88Please respect copyright.PENANAbIy8aPvtox
早知道就多看看這些可愛的小東西了。88Please respect copyright.PENANAZiNELVrEsj
88Please respect copyright.PENANAsG1j93UTXm
88Please respect copyright.PENANATlr3T7nOIc
風…停了。88Please respect copyright.PENANAh3ejeuJR2F
88Please respect copyright.PENANAzgeU0RltWJ