Caught up in a fabricated world of pretend, you blast off to another dimension hoping to find something, hoping to find meaning of something greater. You may see something new, experience something great like nothing you’ve never experienced before, and maybe meet someone new, but is it enough to satisfy your hunger? You may experience new emotions, new feelings you’ve never thought you would ever have. You may experience thoughts that you never knew you would even think about. What did you expect? What were you hoping to find? Was it everything you could have ever imagined? Did it blow your mind? Was it an unforgettable experience for you? I ask myself these things. Not everyday of course. I ask myself, why am I even here, experiencing these emotions? Why am I here meeting these people again and again? Why do I return only to feel even more lost than ever before in this dimension, this fabricated world of make believe. Everyone has their assignments; everyone has their roles. I could care less what my role is. It seems that along the way, when I found that special someone, I lost all sense of reality. I wanted nothing, yet I wanted everything. What did you expect? When everything in my world became about her, I soon realized that I did not have a role to play. There’s nothing to do. There is no reason to exist in this fabricated world of lullabies. The space and the role that I wish to fill has been occupied for a long time by someone else. Oh, how I envy you. What a lucky guy. But do you really appreciate your role? Do you really want it, like how I want it? You don’t. I know you don’t. You are just there to fill up the space. The space that I realized I needed in my life. It will never happen. What did you expect? Expectations only lead to this one thing, and that’s a simple word called disappointment. Deep down I guess he needs you as much as you need him, whatever role he may play with you that’s only between both of you. I’m blasting off to space again, in my simple rocket ship to look at the stars. Maybe that’s exactly where I belong. Maybe I belong on a far-off distant planet somewhere. Maybe my role is to be alone and experience life in solitude. From far away I can focus on creating the most beautiful things no one has ever seen. And when I return from my long rough journey maybe I’ll see you again. Or maybe not…. What did you expect? Did you expect a happy ending with butterflies and a kiss from someone you love the most? Ha. You’re pathetic. Things outside this fabricated world don’t work that way buddy. Keep dreaming. But remember, those that dream stay asleep and never want to wake up, because reality hurts. Keep your affections locked away because nobody wants it, they don’t care. Time moves on and another dimension is created. No matter what dimension you jump to, just know that no one is waiting for you there. No one wants you. No one needs you. What did you expect?
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