/story/185036/交響j評文-心得專欄/issue/16
交響J評文/心得專欄 - 【光影相織】評文 | Penana
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交響J評文/心得專欄
ISSUE #16
Author: 交響J
交響J評文/心得專欄
Author: 交響J
ISSUE #16
【光影相織】評文
No Plagiarism!ZzwEhgpG2Pg7UGu8B7s6posted on PＥNAＮＡ

在這部作品裡可以感覺到夜幕對姊姊的深情，讓人感同身受

優點：故事結構完整、文字優雅

交響私語：我覺得劇情蠻好看的，很期待接下來這對姊弟的互動。

然而還是有兩個小小的缺點，就是不是切換場景的話，在描述可以接續順暢的情況下，不需要使用這麼多的分隔號，這些分隔號對劇情不會產生甚麼特殊感喔。

能寫成一段的句子就寫成一段，不需要一行一行的寫，這並不會加強情緒或是有其他特殊感受喔。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXB8zl6LZZ8
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUIJN900md
以上的幾點會造成寫作成熟度的下降，真正寫小說的人不會這樣在表達的。

其他的部分我覺得沒有甚麼大問題，其實還蠻好看的。

最後，謝謝分享作品，以上建議都僅供參考用。^^

51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7EI7oYqhN

51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLU2rppGjAU
​​​​​​​

216.73.216.225

ns216.73.216.225da2
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交響J評文/心得專欄
General
Short Story
Last updated: Jul 7, 2025
Total word count: 13,437
Total reading time: 45 Minutes
Writer:
交響J
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