I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbse3Nzdj1c
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRXvV9VDBs
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknnhWIXvVz
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGsHO3smY7
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZEprByJ0D
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLURaBxq89
Just silence.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0gemiKXKA
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hBZ1pEQfP
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdd8YGvKVr
But instead, I turned left.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIl8jzixBEI
Down to the garage level.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAht8clq4c
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX2TOnOL9b
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdedP5iBImN
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVj1TK0K1A
Same humming vending machine.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DuEiVRyd8
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LGrh2IxKz
My father's would've been three from the end.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvmA3NxnGo
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7ehltLfvS
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVmN63A0Jh
Boots too clean for the garage.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaTrKi1kyQ
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAmvkoyhey
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHUvv17TVk
I could barely see past the brim.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSLgSCM3az
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvdHrKaGIp
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbysb4XR6f4
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxXxbSrGI0
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzljdGBnq7o
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaI8ezwT9z
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM2E7QOs9i
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVduZo9fnf
The way my mother cried without sound.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrv3Wb6ITnJ
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxHKMjY53B
In the masjids.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZLFWKTFwU
At the community center.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSbk4odC8z
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z0Rjh23Bh
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QG1o4bZWL
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFe9TSSBcC
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGwsxLF9B0
Access.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0t6BVoY1u
An education I never dreamed of affording.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpttGR7DZi
Tutors. Travel.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ844TbSyEoH
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H77J35iqM
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVtcY8S0Ed
I learned quickly to keep my distance.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvum5eWdVkX
To look, but not linger.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjPkph27cG
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWsK0CDcTL
Closed my eyes.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA4ayhJb82
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3DDrJaFBv
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInwEvjJKT5
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ950152hl8K
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGh1i1sKqb
No chatter. No phones ringing.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWKeIFouXQ
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJjZVH4aOW
Too early.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69E8jbJk4R
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqMtg7qYzb
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrLqSctMR2
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRWkJ4NmAw
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr88UVK270
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcdahgrywP
My stomach knotted.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyESRm96TGH
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1IdX1pDaq
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnHmLbKvBI
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ034u7objgn
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbjqPI5KoB
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXca0eTt27m
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWhTtP70WZ
No.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl0kXtSzdY
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXO2fePTZA
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CjEecgdbk
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM6Rhh5cUM
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z4sQAS1Ge
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDg1gWEpUb
and then Add to home screen.