文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/
珍如就是一個習慣事後孔明的人,每天大部分時間都活在懊悔之中。她習慣不斷回想過去,回想「過去中的她」有多糟糕,所以「現在」才會不是她期望中的那樣子。她會猜想當初應該要怎樣做才可更好、才可以沒有出錯,她慣性不斷幻想另一選擇的人生會比較合心意及圓滿。398Please respect copyright.PENANAP44Et4WWMZ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAVQTnXhvIiw
398Please respect copyright.PENANArtxiXdhavj
「當時我不應該這樣做的,應該要想到其他做法才對。」398Please respect copyright.PENANAO5sNEirWHj
398Please respect copyright.PENANAKczZqV1slQ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAF6jQPpKBHq
「早知道我就不這樣說了,如果我就能再表達得更好就好了。」398Please respect copyright.PENANAupfBF4J0DT
398Please respect copyright.PENANAttWd00dK8n
398Please respect copyright.PENANAxZcCw9vbbX
「如果出門前我有帶傘就好了,現在就不用停滯在商場內了。」398Please respect copyright.PENANAYoxIShKmxo
398Please respect copyright.PENANAkXCUNyRVFs
398Please respect copyright.PENANAgGsCvf8SPX
「啊,如果我能在之前就做好決定就好了,現在時間愈久,愈拖就愈膽怯,也愈來愈多憂慮,更躊躇不前。」398Please respect copyright.PENANA7TmsmuMf4u
398Please respect copyright.PENANAh142XMePVh
398Please respect copyright.PENANANjlle5YKNt
「櫻桃口味的煎餅好難吃,早知道我就點巧克力口味啦。」398Please respect copyright.PENANA6gq4DK1HLN
398Please respect copyright.PENANAbo5zSKgIux
398Please respect copyright.PENANAOAw2KT9SIb
「好像還是黑色皮帶比較美,早知道我就買黑色皮帶的手錶了。」398Please respect copyright.PENANAaL7m0d3auz
398Please respect copyright.PENANAqkcGF8g1ay
398Please respect copyright.PENANAnJV2yxULb8
「如果我作了另一個抉擇,一定會比現在快樂。」398Please respect copyright.PENANAe27EJVg76W
398Please respect copyright.PENANA59XgocDQcf
398Please respect copyright.PENANAbPipF0nX1T
—————————————————398Please respect copyright.PENANAWbPaYGzrax
398Please respect copyright.PENANAgHlxKPaueB
398Please respect copyright.PENANAZOcAPV9doF
今天晚上,珍如又和老公吵架了,任她費盡唇舌,她也不能令他明白多一點她的心思意念。398Please respect copyright.PENANA8q9q8KSYWI
398Please respect copyright.PENANAcxJz7ttk1b
398Please respect copyright.PENANAqJwHWFksBn
每次吵架過後,她無處可逃時,都會躲進樓下24小時開放的快餐店內,一直待到早上,等老公上班和公婆出門喝早茶後才甘心回家。398Please respect copyright.PENANAA4Fpd1qc17
398Please respect copyright.PENANAQxTjf1fbxl
398Please respect copyright.PENANAt4AxnXNFSd
黑夜時份,反而是快餐店內最熱鬧的時候,這裡容納著每個不願進睡、不捨入睡、滿懷煩惱、心裡寂寞的人們。398Please respect copyright.PENANAJUf5lqWTix
398Please respect copyright.PENANAYVF7fYhlbs
398Please respect copyright.PENANAMbUhhpoLRT
燈光昏暗的快餐店,在夜裡有種迷幻的情調。398Please respect copyright.PENANAKMI61Ge5XO
398Please respect copyright.PENANAPq6PAPShGo
398Please respect copyright.PENANA7tLUZ1ttmi
珍如穿著短T恤、短褲,腳上踏著拖鞋,一身輕便又破舊的家居服,拖著疲憊的身驅走了進去,點了一個蘋果批就坐下來開始發呆。398Please respect copyright.PENANAZl4iEBG5vj
398Please respect copyright.PENANAhkzHod1TgL
398Please respect copyright.PENANAhJ3tbigBBE
被捨棄了的人生決定通常都會很像鬼魅,常常在脆弱的黑夜裡冷不防就出來徘徊一下下。雖然所有人生處境和細節都不會完美,但活在另一個人生決定裡的自己會是怎麼樣的呢……398Please respect copyright.PENANAKPeDr3INAQ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAsHAroJzLG6
398Please respect copyright.PENANA4hB0Nn0cwx
珍如以寂靜的眼神望著坐在對面桌子的年輕女生,她大慨是中三、中四的年紀吧。398Please respect copyright.PENANAln7IYMprqZ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAdxKUvCMr55
398Please respect copyright.PENANAhCsPxVzSxv
「年輕真好。」珍如大口嚼著蘋果批,心裡慨嘆著。398Please respect copyright.PENANAZaoskqyJDM
398Please respect copyright.PENANAYZRmtW96xg
398Please respect copyright.PENANAxIuwkn9H8N
珍如今年29歲,結婚快6年,也意味她過了6年當家庭主婦的日子。她沒有兒女,但老公非常大男人主義,他要求珍如婚後就要全心全意把家庭照顧好,他們也一定要和公婆同住。所以就算不用照顧小孩,但還有兩個比小孩更難服侍的老爺和奶奶在家,珍如更加覺得自己失去了自由。398Please respect copyright.PENANARzfZeG6qpv
398Please respect copyright.PENANAUvE6Fc2L2g
398Please respect copyright.PENANAqjGYY55ZPe
剛開始婚姻生活的頭一年,珍如還是覺得非常甜蜜,她的老公還是會細心對待她,和公婆相處也算融洽,但從婚後第二年,珍如經歷了小產過後,一切都改變了。398Please respect copyright.PENANAQMgVmExGCQ
398Please respect copyright.PENANABH9S2cUeqd
398Please respect copyright.PENANALycAuFkMIw
但她還能怎樣呢?珍如已經6年沒有接觸社會,她也沒有獨立的經濟能力,就算她有大學學歷,她還可以填回空白的部分,同時重新過她的人生嗎?398Please respect copyright.PENANAq8cmxT8kR9
398Please respect copyright.PENANAfkFbwU7t1D
398Please respect copyright.PENANAn2tdstytsL
「早知道我就不跟他結婚了,現在的他超惹我討厭的,整個人都變成另一人似的,我後悔了啦。」珍如雙手掩臉,雙眼開始水盈盈。398Please respect copyright.PENANA4iaAF3b26N
398Please respect copyright.PENANA75Gqvxxfkp
398Please respect copyright.PENANAzP6Eevk0H7
如果她當初沒有選擇結婚,沒有一時意亂情迷就敗在男人手上,她應該會當上老師吧?這是她一直以來的心願和夢想,但就在畢業的那一年,她遇上了她現在的老公——浩華。他們突然急速陷入暴風似的熱戀之中,當時的珍如,甘願為他放棄自己的夢想來換取婚姻。那時他們只交往四個多月,珍如現在回想起,當時的她,根本沒有真正認識過浩華。398Please respect copyright.PENANAsqe1rE91h8
398Please respect copyright.PENANAzqtE8IT48j
398Please respect copyright.PENANA5wjuSW2pCW
同時,她還放棄了她交往了5年的初戀男友——阿遙。而3年前,珍如得知阿遙遇上意外過世的悲痛消息,自此之後,珍如更加厭惡她的家庭及人生。如果那時選擇了阿遙,和阿遙走到最後,說不定還比較幸福吧,他一直都是一個溫柔,又懂得遷就她壞脾氣的男人。398Please respect copyright.PENANA0TTxO0hgGb
398Please respect copyright.PENANA0JzSrYm234
398Please respect copyright.PENANAMAyPsm2Hvz
現在,珍如露出可憐兮兮的樣子。398Please respect copyright.PENANAd4axbCMiTv
398Please respect copyright.PENANABC3DWGOplW
398Please respect copyright.PENANA8NmGAa680E
「珍如,是妳嗎?」398Please respect copyright.PENANAivPXHC6VfM
398Please respect copyright.PENANAk4DFu8xsBO
398Please respect copyright.PENANALvCUowhXFF
快餐店的嘈雜聲彷彿被吸進另一世界裡,空氣變得好像靜止了。398Please respect copyright.PENANAnBV8Jsv92l
398Please respect copyright.PENANAfyjRIwv5aF
398Please respect copyright.PENANAQDBZyr6TL0
聽到有人喚著自己的名字,珍如轉過身來。站在她旁邊的,是不可能在此時出現的阿遙。398Please respect copyright.PENANAKBu3EHGcBx
398Please respect copyright.PENANAiwOD9BSfeD
398Please respect copyright.PENANAuLeJEDjtQe
多年不見,阿遙現在的容貌比珍如印象中成熟及老成許多,肩膀也厚實了。但他還是喜歡在右耳上配戴黑色寶石耳環。398Please respect copyright.PENANAHVqTNgtZJ5
398Please respect copyright.PENANAu7W0mxWNnT
398Please respect copyright.PENANAGkuxSqgRXt
珍如瞪大烏溜溜的雙眼,怔怔看著阿遙,喉嚨發不出一絲聲音。她曾經去阿遙的墓碑前「探望」過他,那張黑白照片,還有相中人的笑容仍然深刻她的內心,而現在,她看見活生生的他在眼前出現……398Please respect copyright.PENANAKhm914kJFq
398Please respect copyright.PENANAmIVDDQR1SH
398Please respect copyright.PENANAdNZJEF944H
「我果然沒有認錯人,雖然好久不見,但珍如還是同一個樣子,沒有很大的改變啊。」阿遙的笑容仍然非常溫暖人心。398Please respect copyright.PENANAWV0LQNpxJG
398Please respect copyright.PENANAwg5C5fr0q6
398Please respect copyright.PENANAcxm2DOu5x1
珍如盡量維持平靜的表情,但內心激動不已。她是否已經神志錯亂?她已經發瘋了?同時她也尷尬不已,她一身隨便得有點失禮的家居服,加上她糟糕到極的人生,讓她羞愧得想找個地洞跳進去。398Please respect copyright.PENANAj6qUmLxqaq
398Please respect copyright.PENANAMComE4qkcB
398Please respect copyright.PENANARbN0ldSr8H
「是……是我沒錯啊。」珍如不敢再直視阿遙,眼神只能落在他耳珠上的黑寶石耳環,身體微微抖震。398Please respect copyright.PENANASQF3CrDMdi
398Please respect copyright.PENANAaUldcfwtIn
398Please respect copyright.PENANAIytzPF271W
珍如覺得寶石剌眼的光芒很令人感到煩躁和心痛。398Please respect copyright.PENANAQURhYVbHGf
398Please respect copyright.PENANAjvz57zvBvK
398Please respect copyright.PENANAVNObYjdTO5
阿遙在珍如身邊坐下後,她嗅到他身上像牛奶糖般的味道,是她曾經熟悉過、感到安全感的氣味。珍如覺得胸口有股快要爆炸的灼熱感覺,這一切到底是什麼一回事?398Please respect copyright.PENANAzcI6ohq0O8
398Please respect copyright.PENANALllSComA8c
398Please respect copyright.PENANA4aSCCkxu8N
阿遙積極地想要了解珍如的現況,但珍如只有面露難色。398Please respect copyright.PENANA9TfhHGKeJn
398Please respect copyright.PENANAHYaTBYjMXG
398Please respect copyright.PENANAb0E2qk9dhc
「啊,對不起。」阿遙搔搔頭。398Please respect copyright.PENANAIKzc06wtWW
398Please respect copyright.PENANABzZYUsMtJN
398Please respect copyright.PENANAjNWSnI9CQU
「沒關係啊,你不用和我道歉。」398Please respect copyright.PENANARPHgf9AtuY
398Please respect copyright.PENANARO2W7nUVVZ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAbUZzNr9ClM
「也是,道歉只會顯得太過假惺惺吧。」398Please respect copyright.PENANA88gRXWVxD5
398Please respect copyright.PENANAvofoiVhxVh
398Please respect copyright.PENANAjFChDbEV01
「咦?」珍如露出不解的表情,該道歉的,不是她嗎?398Please respect copyright.PENANAHiy2UG2h13
398Please respect copyright.PENANArWBMvmAzEi
398Please respect copyright.PENANA68Mz5RDMt3
「妳一直都對我很專一,但3年前我竟然愛上別的女人,背叛了妳,讓妳傷心了。離婚後我都不敢再打探妳的消息,但我一直都真心希望妳能再遇到一個好男人,過得比以前幸福。」阿遙說出珍如聽不明白的話,但神情無比認真。398Please respect copyright.PENANAdDNA1yS3qZ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAsoOgHIAXpZ
398Please respect copyright.PENANAPWN4W6nUqQ
阿遙沒死,浩華沒有在我生命中出現過,我和阿遙在後來的日子中理所當然地結婚了,但我們卻……沒有永遠都過著幸福甜蜜的家庭生活嗎?這是另一個世界的場境嗎?是否因為在這個世界裡她當了壞人,在另一世界的她就要受到同樣的懲罰?398Please respect copyright.PENANASQRgjkhNof
398Please respect copyright.PENANAqmoiAnjPyk
398Please respect copyright.PENANAYAmdEGF1Uf
雖然如此,但阿遙在另一世界並沒有死去,也安然生存著,還是一件令珍如感到欣慰和心滿意足的事。398Please respect copyright.PENANAaaaxe2RNZv
398Please respect copyright.PENANARjs3WpdkKg
398Please respect copyright.PENANAYIBCUwS7Jw
「能和你再遇見,我覺得……現在很幸福啊。」珍如忍住快要奪框而出的淚水。她猜阿遙應該覺得她在語無倫次吧。398Please respect copyright.PENANAOBew3fqmjp
398Please respect copyright.PENANA9OXHDtgpdj
398Please respect copyright.PENANAPaV0xcUuPn
「什麼?妳不要開玩笑了啦,妳恨不得我消失吧。」阿遙哈哈大笑地揮揮手。398Please respect copyright.PENANA3jyLABR5rt
398Please respect copyright.PENANA8Sd4Cyvx4x
398Please respect copyright.PENANAne3cZAmaPZ
珍如不知還能說些什麼,只是隨心底的渴望給了阿遙一個懷抱,久久沒有放開過。398Please respect copyright.PENANAbIMThX3Pp9
398Please respect copyright.PENANAR5g2ZUHpJ2
398Please respect copyright.PENANALa7UxnORGS
—————————————————398Please respect copyright.PENANAqXDU0rJ0pu
398Please respect copyright.PENANAGiMQH3gCvk
398Please respect copyright.PENANA3KPResqEOn
另一邊廂,到了早上時份,在偌大的辦公室內,穿著高級白色套裝、臉上施著薄妝的珍如,重重地吐氣,如適重負地把身體往後躺,讓自己完全放鬆地倚靠著椅背。398Please respect copyright.PENANAkPmHzlRed7
398Please respect copyright.PENANAIzW9sDr03Z
398Please respect copyright.PENANAKWfV2s241h
坐在她對面的,是城內一位最火紅、最權威性的算命大師。398Please respect copyright.PENANAw0FavsbZfB
398Please respect copyright.PENANAjFdKFP6rHN
398Please respect copyright.PENANAw5x6YFZDJc
年近半百的算命老師笑問:「怎樣?昨晚嘗試了另一人生的苦痛滋味,也再窺探了另一個自以為是夢想中的生活,感覺怎樣?」398Please respect copyright.PENANAbbCBXS3wwg
398Please respect copyright.PENANA3j1qdq7QoI
398Please respect copyright.PENANASUYHan83ty
「謝謝你的神秘力量,讓我發現現在這個人生,是我最喜歡的。最喜歡最喜歡,抉擇原來沒有之一。」仍然單身的珍如露出甜美、燦爛的笑容。398Please respect copyright.PENANAgpoHqn0fpy
398Please respect copyright.PENANA1bbiKvIqGT
398Please respect copyright.PENANA28Sujjd0YC
還好她當初還是因為內疚而同時放棄了浩華和阿遙。398Please respect copyright.PENANAa7kcZAXJT1
398Please respect copyright.PENANAMJehNsIL0z
398Please respect copyright.PENANAJtsEpxZZ9E
之後的她,果斷地踏上教師之路,一步一步完成她的夢想。現在的她,當上了城中補習名校的當紅教師,事業攀上高峰,但因與男明星正在傳出緋聞,現在她的每個行為舉止都會成為城中熱話。398Please respect copyright.PENANAziSXEaco3K
398Please respect copyright.PENANAbl9cmBhOEI
398Please respect copyright.PENANA5TT9ycKME9
當中她會有遇上人事上的挫敗、對教學失去熱誠之時,單身的她回到空無一人的家裡,背負著沉重的事業壓力,那她就會開始猜想,如果當初她選擇步入婚姻,有男人疼愛的她會否過得比較輕鬆和快樂?398Please respect copyright.PENANACKXpSv88Q0
398Please respect copyright.PENANA3oovTdeqeK
398Please respect copyright.PENANAGeaFthM04U
她沒有想到,當初浪漫又會甜言蜜語的浩華讓她後來的人生過得這麼苦,阿遙更在那個世界中死去;而原來就算她沒有在畢業時因浩華放棄阿遙,和阿遙結婚後的甜蜜生活也沒有維持很長久,他們還是不能安然走到人生的最後,命運還是讓他們分道揚鑣了。398Please respect copyright.PENANAAxsszz94Mc
398Please respect copyright.PENANAYKfefJL1u2
398Please respect copyright.PENANAij0Fnc4Upw
「擁有」和「遺憾」好像雙生兒,而人,只能一直往前走。每個人都有自己的路要走,那條獨特的路程,只有此時此刻的自己能走吧?我們都只能擁有現在、那唯一的自己。398Please respect copyright.PENANAGgtwHu8hq3
文: 譚嘉燕 FB PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/katetam1228/398Please respect copyright.PENANAImB80WbWBv