「Come on, James,可唔可以成熟啲呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAA2Jpw8Y5Wr
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAlg7f6urWXH
嘩屌!Come on James? 雖然我係叫占屎,但Evelyn你唔係要將陶公子嘅潮文同我講一次呀?1931Please respect copyright.PENANA1YKBVJO5D7
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAE9hsyQBwpO
我放下手上的星冰樂,有點傻眼的看著眼前的女朋友,Evelyn,她剛從澳洲Working Holiday回來一個月。我倆剛討論我們的未來,我只是有點敷衍的回答了一下,就得到了這句「Come on, James」。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAsagxPo55fU
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAGDzX6008SO
「你有無發覺,自從我喺Australia返嚟之後,我哋好似有啲唔夾? 」在Starfuck內,她一面調拌著眼前的Chamomile Tea,一面宣讀她的判詞,完全無視這杯Chamomile Tea其實係唔需要攪勻的。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA7q5NA4t6hS
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAV5lYS1DDxw
「I mean,其實喺畢業之後,我哋嘅世界好似越嚟越遠,我諗,大家都到咗呢個年紀,係咪應該冷靜咁find out,點樣去解決呢場crisis呢? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAphqnO2bnc6
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA93L4KwwBgM
我頂你個肺!你唔駛真係將篇潮文嘅對白背哂出嚟呀? 而家真係去過一年Working Holiday就大撚哂? 每講一句都要夾硬插啲英文單字入去?1931Please respect copyright.PENANAmCeSIAnI8D
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA6LXVOqYw3E
雖然我不是潮文中滿臉暗瘡,架著銅絲眼鏡的毒撚,但這些對白一樣觸動了我的自尊神經。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAtF16I5d9sP
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAuxjzIORm03
我嘗試作出最後掙扎﹕「我知,你即係嫌棄我啫。你返到嚟就即刻入咗魔根屎單尼,你叻你好嘢。我只係做緊個文員仔,要返5日半仲要成日OT,我配你唔起,但我會努力賺錢,我哋公一份,婆一份,一樣可以買樓結婚㗎。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAO98uB2lX0J
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAesJmbCSctn
Evelyn輕輕搖頭,狀甚遺憾﹕「係Morgan Stanley。」她頓了頓,又道﹕「喺你眼中,我就係一個咁現實嘅女仔? 其實我哋嘅differences,喺畢業嗰陣已經出現,我有叫你同我一齊去Australia,但你點答我? 你話已經搵到工,話去一年嘥時間,我喺嗰刻就一直諗,我哋係咪屬於兩個唔同level嘅人。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAKTOez3mVUg
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAhIM0AmXttO
哪有錢!你老母!1931Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZzTXy2VO3
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAxP1lRle0ea
你明知道我一畢業就已經負資產,而且還要儲錢跟你結婚,那還可以浪費一年時間跟你浪跡天涯!1931Please respect copyright.PENANA8PiYH2BDyy
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA91ydVBlwYU
我意識到我們已經到了無可挽回的地步,但還是不甘心地上訴﹕「你知道我要還關窿㗎,我都應承咗你等我升職加人工會同你去一次日本。唔通無錢都係一種罪過? 如果係,點解你唔老實講? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAoWxJye6ZXL
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA4aa7ewtum4
「I'm not talking about money, you know that.」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAbP3SZNRziP
1931Please respect copyright.PENANANG9GMHV6Gf
撈? 我撈你老味!1931Please respect copyright.PENANAL5igqbTvv1
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAACa9oNjcP6
我忽然冷靜下來,沒有像潮文中的毒撚發脾四就咁走咗去。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAfA0U5ub3sR
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAKD5W1BKiRW
或許,變了心的女人,就像借出去的錢一樣,找收數佬也收不回來。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA1k17wAojAk
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA0nrZzhpR2z
「咁,分手啦。」我揮一揮衣袖,不帶走一片雲彩。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA2sXHBTfQVA
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1CxqgZxsi
Evelyn的嘴角若有若無的向上彎了一下,然後微微點點頭﹕「James, we are still friend.」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAHYcKid09Pc
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAQaUOqUNrsJ
她輕輕呷了一口微涼的Chamomile Tea,然後站起來,離開。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAuH0BGoeLll
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAwwJFRjVE9i
我惆悵的看著眼前只剩半杯的Chamomile Tea,憶起跟Evelyn剛相識時她的一臉羞澀,那個怯怯的濕吻,那夜在宿舍輕輕脫下的胸圍,那對溫軟動人的33C,肉體與肉體碰撞時的啪啪聲,還有那令人念念不忘的口技......1931Please respect copyright.PENANAqVRJrHo6br
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAyOz4ViIMRw
你老母!1931Please respect copyright.PENANAoeOUK6bxGw
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAqyI2RYgLKC
我一拍桌面,發出的呯然巨響嚇得周圍只買一杯咖啡卻坐一整天的偽文青目定口呆,然後霸氣地離開這個傷心地......1931Please respect copyright.PENANAyyRv2CCdRU
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAjHWbP4ToqW
1931Please respect copyright.PENANATMhji4VHDF
1931Please respect copyright.PENANApjoGrRA9gH
正當我昂首闊步走到街上,打算用霸氣遮掩被飛的事實時,一輛R8在我身側駛過。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAumAKSuBLdZ
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAjEtuqfc1Yx
我瞄了車廂一眼,坐在副駕的,正是剛飛走我的Evelyn,她正巧笑倩兮的跟司機聊天。我再看真一點,那個司機,身無四両肉,梳著一個比比鳥頭,身穿窄身slim cut粉藍色西裝,是一個比MK更MK的MK仔。而這個MK仔,赫然就是那天跟Evelyn一起從澳洲回來,Evelyn說是在飛機上認識的ABC。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAwMKTJlnrOT
1931Please respect copyright.PENANApGOXVoAarn
我隱約感到,我在香港Holiday Working的時候,她已經在Working Holiday途中送給我一頂綠油油的綠帽。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAxwUFvsEKyL
1931Please respect copyright.PENANASNs9tZ711d
屌那星!的士!1931Please respect copyright.PENANAUPBteIznnv
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAO2LCUXQUE1
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAvR8rJp2iFn
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAEssaE3G9qt
怒從心中起,惡向膽邊生!我毅然伸手截的,並跟司機說跟著前方的R8。1931Please respect copyright.PENANABtAmth3SVt
1931Please respect copyright.PENANACXIKwoJFQi
司機從倒後鏡中瞄了我一眼,我吼道﹕「唔駛望啦,係拍緊戲呀!快啲追上去啦!後面成隊crew跟緊呀!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANACumLTWR3uD
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAB7MLOU6OfW
的士司機立刻像吃了春藥一樣,發動引擎馬上就追了上去。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAaHifUFyvf7
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAaJDZxNfsvz
司機的聲音很興奮﹕「拍緊咩戲呀? 我有無對白㗎? 邊個做男主角呀? 係咪發哥呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANASjEYkXARPK
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAqGhZU1BNb1
其實我唔多想理佢,但係為咗令佢發揮佢嘅小宇宙,我唯有指住我粒衫鈕話﹕「呢道裝咗個微型鏡頭,你嘅角色係一個過氣嘅一級方程式賽車手,性格沉默寡言,為咗屋企人放棄自己嘅賽車夢轉而揸的士。今日我咁啱上咗你部車去追揸R8嘅歹徒,你要發揮你所有潛能追上去,有無問題? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANA1xpQLeFAMl
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA7FQyk8LVeG
「無問題!交比我!」的士佬興奮的大聲回答。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA3tkyf0WAMV
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAp5Rhgq8kAt
「好!頭先嗰段我會叫導演cut咗佢,一陣我嗌action你就即刻入戲!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAc2ZpBhyXfY
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAfOaAk1Wdnn
的士司機馬上撥一撥稀疏的髮絲,然後給了我一個堅定的眼神。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAhl4UUub0y2
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAslKCGMly7e
「Action!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAlSva6Xfv1w
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA5ySHj7ElmC
一聲令下,引擎咆哮一聲,的士呼嘯而去,在高速公路上逢車過車。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAyJKplxgUSy
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAp1MzWPsIaR
眼看就要跟R8並排而行,比比鳥像發現被人跟蹤,R8越駛越快,漸漸拋離我們。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAMWbAcdF5P9
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAy3tJq5wHqH
老實說的士司機的技術認真不賴,只是顯然比比鳥也不是吃素的,而且車款性能明顯不止輸一個檔次。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAzrTYiAgAZu
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAuLmrmVNSEp
眼見遠方的R8駛離了高速公路,到我們跟上去的時候,他們已經消失無蹤,而且我們也被逼停在交通燈前。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAdlRbKduZnG
1931Please respect copyright.PENANArXLwArbU8S
我一拍椅背,深深不忿﹕「仆你個街!咁都追唔到!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANA1VvsLDKFdv
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAB50lBy6iya
的士司機很稱職的演繹沉默寡言的性格,他只是利用倒後鏡用眼神問我﹕「咁而家點? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANA3sAcClyfYA
1931Please respect copyright.PENANANriRpv3Z57
雖然我也不知道截住他們有甚麼用,但我有點死心不息﹕「喺附近兜幾個圈,睇吓撞唔撞到。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAbgDlnj4kdq
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAUBgWDoyj4I
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAwOk7PIamNR
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAdbv7HoilDC
的士司機按我的指示在附近兜截,但明顯地R8已經逃離現場,我一無所穫。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAuvZHll0WQR
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAdjyCmOqwAe
我垂頭喪氣伏在前方倚背,腦袋放空,完全不知道該怎樣做。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAsU7cwANFXv
1931Please respect copyright.PENANARk9FfkibS3
的士司機輕聲問我﹕「咁我哋下一場戲係點呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAqoYUViVEjY
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAbSTXH2SXo5
我從銀包中拿出一張五百元遞給他,有氣無力道﹕「車我去一個無人嘅地方,我要冷靜吓。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAI1kaznqh6H
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAAvFxfxbRFP
他接過鈔票後,一聲不響的開車,過了不知多久,我感到引擎關掉了。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAhhYZEqUVsE
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAjQ8vDuSuZ3
我抬頭一看,車外有點灰濛濛一片,有草有樹,四野無人,是一條窄窄的山路,這裏是甚麼地方?1931Please respect copyright.PENANAVtyze3Zwz8
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAKVSMXnqgPL
「好cut!Good take!」是時候令他回歸現實。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAAzM8QzMWUX
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAyoPmx4gKSn
的士佬馬上一輪嘴問我﹕「點呀點呀? 我演成點呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAtJGMEo2h8M
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAUWXfJ5BFCR
我戴上藍芽,裝作正跟導演溝通﹕「呀......好好!導演話你演得入型入格,做得非常好!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANA6b4bHcHm3M
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAvSvF0SBCwn
「係? 咁我會唔會仲有戲份? 其實我覺得自己好戲過林雪,而且又靚仔過佢!」他又撥一撥稀疏的頭髮。1931Please respect copyright.PENANADirlKeQVQD
1931Please respect copyright.PENANApt7MOxmHfJ
我打開車門,下車之前跟他說﹕「導演喺我頭先上車嗰度拍緊另一組戲,你去搵佢,睇吓佢會唔會安排一下啦,我會同你講幾句好說話。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAzIBB9YCr6q
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA65KG2Egcgo
的士司機千恩萬謝﹕「唔該哂你呀哥仔,我攞金像獎嗰陣一定會多謝你㗎!係呢,點稱呼呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAp3dRDLaiNj
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAELvoAtxUqA
「叫我Come on James啦......話時話,呢度邊度呀? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAR8SZWjxmUR
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAi63rUEKe4C
「大帽山呀,你話要無人嘛,駛唔駛我車返你去搵導演? 」1931Please respect copyright.PENANAi6YhMQaV3N
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAxaUtt2Pmr5
我揮揮手﹕「唔駛啦,我仲要演一幕獨腳戲,一陣會有人接我啦,你走先啦。」1931Please respect copyright.PENANACi8U9pJqJ4
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAE9KXps55Fb
的士司機露出羡慕的表情,然後依依不捨的離開。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAdo0cao2MLq
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAd6F4dBblKt
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAEmaSNNrFbf
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAIbQjt8NMWJ
我看著漸漸遠去的的士,又轉頭望向另一方向,看來這條路可以一直上山頂,就上去看看吧。1931Please respect copyright.PENANASY225oKUFB
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAjruJ1Kb31G
走著走著,我到了一個可遠眺城市的地方,看著一棵棵如火柴般的樓宇,心裏不禁在想,我到底是為了甚麼而努力? 辛苦讀書工作,OT受氣,換來的,就是一頂綠帽?1931Please respect copyright.PENANA7xpAydumf3
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAeW0q1fGSb0
我忍不住撿起一塊石頭,使勁丟到遠方,然後向天大嗌﹕「死仆街港女!」1931Please respect copyright.PENANA8KrG3kEOk0
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAzlzfDnuezz
轟隆!1931Please respect copyright.PENANAqagznf9Cl9
1931Please respect copyright.PENANANdGWP8BnOg
回應我的,卻是一聲雷響。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAnrjBDJmYvb
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAxhVp6gxFjO
我嚇了一跳,然後瞄一瞄天空,灰灰暗暗的正被密雲籠罩,似是快要下雨。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAxoXlre7PFM
1931Please respect copyright.PENANATiqLaduuIv
屌!連個天都唔鍾意我? 你等我落咗山先好落雨喎!1931Please respect copyright.PENANArhTev00eky
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA3jR8S9inf4
才走了幾步,正想打電話call的士之際,突然感到尿急。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA6uWlj1E31k
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAUMcVxNaghz
我左望望右望望,視線範圍之內,不要說廁所,連坑渠都沒有一條。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAKwn9c4ON52
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAwImWoEDhqd
算了,反正無人,求其快手屙咗篤尿就走。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAOEgItv5E8m
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAKhXwBe8z7u
我走到路邊的一棵樹下,對著樹幹拉下褲鍊就開始小解。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAcqYqsAKGii
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAoWF1n5ZmGG
正當我才開始解放,卻已經下起大雨。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAOEbTMBY0Nw
1931Please respect copyright.PENANA057Zlh8bC9
我頂你!你落雨都比我屙埋先啦!駛唔駛咁趕呀?1931Please respect copyright.PENANAn7FGqfW1pv
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAYXrpPqi5iN
我馬上氣運丹田,使勁將所有尿液盡快逼出體外,樹幹已經被我濺得濕漉漉一片。1931Please respect copyright.PENANA3KKxc31t5O
1931Please respect copyright.PENANAv4xyyIm3Js
卻說這個時候,突然眼前白光一閃,耳際一聲雷響,我感到身體如遭電亟,鼻端傳來一陣燒焦味,然後我就失去了知覺。1931Please respect copyright.PENANAtnMW7jv1iw
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《窮撚被女飛 之 鳩闖魔法世界》
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《窮撚被女飛 之 鳩闖魔法世界》
Author:
羊先生

ISSUE #1
第一章 - 窮撚總要重複的被飛
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