/story/66565/未來之夏野評/issue/11
未來之夏野評 - 《因為你而有所改變的夏天 AARON ZAMUS-星羽》野評 | Penana
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未來之夏野評
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未來之夏野評
ISSUE #11
Author: 錦鯉萌狼
未來之夏野評
Author: 錦鯉萌狼
ISSUE #11
《因為你而有所改變的夏天 AARON ZAMUS-星羽》野評
No Plagiarism!3KKBc9WWKWv53QdWj5N7posted on PＥNAＮＡ

https://www.penana.com/story/64227/%E5%A4%8F%E6%97%A5%E7%9F%AD%E7%AF%87%E9%80%A3%E8%BC%89%E6%8C%91%E6%88%B0-%E7%AC%AC%E4%B8%80%E5%9B%9E-%E8%B5%B7%E9%A6%96%E7%AF%87/issue/22

由於星羽和其他群友強烈要求我大力鞭打，我就直言不諱了。

病句或問題句很多，包括但不止於：

「它又如四季的初戀」四季的初戀是三小？四季不是一年中所有時間嗎？

「彷彿看著日暮那耀眼的太陽卻不刺眼」妳這個「是X又不是X」想表達甚麼？

「他可能會在海景中愛上某一個女孩相遇相愛」妳會用逗號嗎？

「他看起來十分帥氣來自城市的皙白」很嚴重的病句。

「所有在海灘的少女都喜歡著那場新清流」可以解釋一下甚麼叫做「新清流」嗎？

我放棄了。希望有好心的評審會耐心看「承」，可能後面寫得超好也說不定。

216.73.216.114

ns216.73.216.114da2
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未來之夏野評
General
School
Humor
Last updated: Aug 23, 2020
Total word count: 3,421
Total reading time: 11 Minutes
Writer:
錦鯉萌狼
評論 未來之夏
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