第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIiSENdWHu
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iL1HJQ9fs
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還沒有學會「接受」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5iOtVeiEu
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接受現實501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbFzT7BZZR
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因為認為是屈服501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZjj49CamO
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感覺好像自己在投降501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUeS0Z18Qx
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放棄一切501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDldnLQAut
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNy2qImwmy
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNK138VSCE
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認為是這樣子的狂妄501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFg9PDft03
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無他501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuTHuFBZZS
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說是愚痴也不過份501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhhbKzkJIg
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只是她不相信501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74kQLRp2OJ
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懷疑501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdd7sVQgLZ
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她⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJSBiILZ1m
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「⋯⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCZhcu1OPQ
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGIildzrap
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單單是想像也有夠不安501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JLWrtHNaS
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkRxdxHvJu
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGyAClRDs9
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唯一句501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTGZZIgIGv
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當局者迷，旁觀者清501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC9jIYtmed
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSFRANXf6G
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIG7JSrW8D
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR64Z85FcEM
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且不死，無法殺死501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYQHdSvbhX
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人家已經很盡力了501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYKkihsDu8
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeU2yRqahl
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憤怒501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfZEvACRbT
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SXrcEPTNJ
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因為我沒有用501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI8BwSfOFj
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQJfRGcqxS
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxq1UBbThs
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67NV6kX1mZ
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFLS3txovy
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PqzlvWeon
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1Tvx6KPMO
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44FcYNxx3z
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIDBtNsOPK
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQgWSvhbGl
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup1BWwCCqu
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PdClPt92P
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgJWmvn2RA
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已經失眠了多久？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TGyY3ytyC
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgw42V5G7Om
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHEPErkbVL
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeZPvVDgJu
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeOvMCQrh1
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDa2ay9o3o
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE7QczRS98
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTINTjE2Yp9
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rTEbDYz2o
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qNxu2Je6w
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppyMzLbY6g
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNIMaY80XF
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——呀？
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嗯？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TfG1QGrUL
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKwTWIX00B
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CtUbf7cVG
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我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCmVyG2PHY
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8mkaODgUQ
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我也想活下去
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3CbV9ztUG
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPV8d2U1XM
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
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一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2XL2GiN7y
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz40ff0OTWV
或是說，我不希望⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdendAIYOmL
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⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOP9gsGWTqq
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對不起501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUMJ8NOy1m
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlnB2V2ren
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrusyI5q0G
我也希望自己⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzbIM7y39b
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkiXFfSwyk
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3f9cXpSdA
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeSUQjx8gq
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7hzoE0P1A
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARiZZQl97k
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOi10K5Wt5
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZmyiUQW1d
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4pp3XMPEH
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf0nDoqsPg
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccq61twCIB
「⋯⋯嗯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O0fiH4bnc
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5NV2VGpQY
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBhMIe5g8x
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBigRlpewb
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1W0rt3zYc
「真的」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0SPIgxQOB
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzVSrTmDO3
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYH5aXzNVz
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGlaec2SAq
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6I8nfrCR8
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B4fOGd9JW
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沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gbiWQ4pYe
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbONKjscLX
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef7kgpwvrv
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34p0TriR6a
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzwhqMCC32
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXpzBPzYmv
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI75La5tbLI
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgH7tjEslF
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNSDvHurR0
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8pDYhg9AW
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqYP00G4Mo
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRGWy7HvCa
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMN9Wd2Igk
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9qQRNgXNc
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv771sJo7fS
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy16mOuyhJT
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF8wrkRM1u
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzdM16lVrv
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS58ayfDk9p
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVdfwe9ua9
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJ4it7gLcD
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVCbMS9WVV
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsTpN0DpwM
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbSWJHyhHz
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMnmNYwkp8
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ubJJzTTkH
最後一記，最強烈
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPORfHBlrB
「⋯哈啊⋯」
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkStsHigZrM
鬆口，直至其手到胸口501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcEMUR1RPM
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc01fo0au69
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAMrr656hv
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMldZ7RKlO
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkk8AZAuBD
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GvZTJyPRt
「⋯啊？」
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKykWLe8gub
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsQ88INIIu
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpmoIQYk1w
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
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「等、等等」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2HzlZmrDD
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj3Wa5PpEn
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqsoEtP8M8
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZoSvPrDlI
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofy7hdd9p7
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOQ026odf2
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ36fMdNiKZ
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRKUW6PxZB
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBubgWPz8Yv
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvgFPQqGoh
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzEhvF2Iky
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73uvZ3k5ww
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9qFR4KCHL
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTKDgMzGIP
好痛
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx6kEIbpUR
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但會有人在意嗎？
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vHgBIRplu
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrwGErOkq4
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQIoVypRon
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYU2ZAlZc5
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtI3liTyXB
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzfqrTNCGe
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoU8BOj3AH
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuMmAG1vAU
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZVnFPrgag
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFa3c0c8Csl
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdQyguvZPx
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5Lt7Rmhuo
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3UrcQdcfE
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZuqlGV7ra
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1FewKRusB
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcScd1EZ7XQ
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aT9AalMLH
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0skOTdHTeV
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC87WM7M5XA
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznyZlVBzX0
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByO4nTbGA0
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFmMrLij4u
比較下，條件不由自己定
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllEqWhGwBP
我沒有選擇權501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0Jy5Eu5KD
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrTuoM5Mhk
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNkT7WtldZ
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wdOJv7GrI
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E7IOCMaAn
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明白嗎？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPwdoM96M7
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QkDcqrgFq
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsNDkNfO6t
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mxT7bYwcL
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodnr0utDA0
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若世界更溫柔的話——
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不可能501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SW4lnDg6W
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故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLx2UuZyH9I
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE5Sj1ht9i
什麼也沒有501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynDC6p3NNh
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFf8kBGQ3C
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUtcbKAj5h
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdhfvPFGpc
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCXXy2hObh
當然501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCUeraeHjh
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絕對
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEVK437BrX
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCIlY5thGB
不想501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HY0Q1hopY
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpDtnuA9yS
但始終，真的太辛苦了501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3JSUY7hCU
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66M8uueKSX
⋯⋯501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1t9vThZL1
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思考真的太辛苦了501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZILplOF5g6
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ556IAtBznr
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXY60ZXG5Y
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmRNPOQzF5
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「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonzOX0Ni6H
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIcksmHT6c
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWgUPmAeoN
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAkvCYO22j
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWUE1MDv4E
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavBDJWgwXW
「⋯⋯對不起」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnXGhqs8Jx
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhA4ygqz1Bu
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QxKn8J5Tj
「嗯⋯」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF2w7PJLPW
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLRyTt5e6A
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXchCtCGMb5
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1OCNDDAwu
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL09mpBRug4
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIdpfFylAZ
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxDsubeNz9
「忠誠致赤雨之日」501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqQnuwkhHT
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7PTXBFuiM
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFYic7fAd2
女孩說道
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBa6YOkbV1z
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbQ1cU8JVt
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2gLrHqBuV
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlc1O5aUzZy
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtuA14mVBT
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJTZHXOGMi
是女孩的指示501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudBNhIq6mm
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VEvRp4OoC
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEZ4MdEEOX
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcH5u1pegn
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddkfsJv2qv
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SEEZLXEOv
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLVuRHaVTf
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzPJu4DE1H
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vF9aSUdY7
直至最後能看見的——501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtSgSI1D8b
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNppP3oMw8x
也不存在
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGAvz9pA2S
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJmhoYteeH
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w0nY0XVUX
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LWaTmDs12
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5eh9igZXF
但無法辨認501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0PlC0FqIG
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCZNJDLG6I
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2q4oThBJ6
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3a3nHzQLs
黑暗將自己包圍501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGKBHq9rlf
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw883OSMPnx
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbmI5ZlTkx
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKolEa965H
不知多久了501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaaa8G5tFD
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR3Zx9221f
在那時開始501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUBUkg5VAd
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo0t2F7dkW
那裏501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf5BP94muA
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DZ81pdTsv
但有些事情〇〇
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdek6XSvxNS
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5B59p28T4
〇〇〇501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCnWaJZgwE
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxycSvubVD
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNQkDsrSxb
〇〇〇〇〇〇501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoYMb69eTF
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BB9dBWU9Q
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShzU1dgi4j
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ciBu4lVZd
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNC9yTdmNc
現在不是你的回合501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7lttxSgXC
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdIEpFbZbQ
501Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOith82QPF
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and then Add to home screen.