致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXDt3kp2VS
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前提，是特殊情況之下367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57biBS3Y4o
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2OQaGGEcI
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大概367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAazAGYCgkM
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYJuSWfEEA
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7SCmZqXHL
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「⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63b2chp1gh
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmiWhgJiLJ
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9UXf8yhs1
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69Ho80USLi
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHMrPBQQzl
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不良日常性時候367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0587ZJUkH
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9apzbUwumG
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu3GkKw4ZD
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRXvS2QhD7
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcMtSvhY1s
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrH5gIyAeS
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4diHR8dV4
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04nkgHHRF2
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp6QSO32AO
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6WBtwoJph
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KX0Xwwaj2
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「呀！來了、來了！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66yMubRyqT
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「走啊～」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEgzblUIeT
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yz9dXqBia
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79WeJjoiQj
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他367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIRpoe3baG
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「又被欺負了嗎？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW5tweLbQG
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh1duG456c
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbfpjBaZID
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5Cwd1K8gQ
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynvvyqk1QU
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ULwrgzge4
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⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq1PHqFfYT
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怎也好呢367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zxMgTCeqC
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「⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTD0WaRdR6
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuKTyn9dyR
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk0BRdv2yD
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—— 咔 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAb4yGplB9
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⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpBuHja2bc
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⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cw52VLDkh
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQYa5R1qEq
「嗚⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHWy5mKKBS
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrkP7t8cKv
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf74so773Uc
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oIpKE5va8
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「啊？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxjKdJ6Acx
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—— 啪噹 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf3OIsgdU6
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE58dfipjCA
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOnm8HKSWE
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她一樣367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCyGEF0oam
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe65RuCNXtx
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdrMfXhZQS
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「對不起！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpEQD0PpoJ
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4AfeNaza7
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「來」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2MxLbs30F
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「⋯謝謝」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdYSevZppz
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NFFV8kAca
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mLSAVEjYZ
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz5MjuJvZE
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HyN1cML2D
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「那個，水無月？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05DRhenAT0
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「怎麼了？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D9M9kAedc
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2w7TDFzuR
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各種367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOGGUcuAFc
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JFYreFlc
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQy4QHT4dMh
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且只能回味367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMfGo27430
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「回來了嗎，島見？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiU9DASImgv
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15YYiX8hCo
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNv8rxy4HP
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOwRr56P0M
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「媽媽⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQWUS2QzAC
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「⋯⋯是的？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89ZtcCKzfl
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMfzQz6AZx
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmqkpkOR5p
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCUMiAIgtC
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76PKq2AocW
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呢367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVreL7PIAL
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4rmLBg4uv
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ajm8r5JRK
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJF6cYQr2Y
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU1tWbwkMQ
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「這樣嗎⋯？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYLURQpzQ4
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoVYqesHZ5
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「生日快樂！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oF0p4vcFG
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofJ9xsKhKF
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太過成功才使人後悔啊367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0XwHtmkXb
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs2OnotZTb
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「⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtupcMTprW
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyLEX8HDHK
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—— 噗 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHtWl9wKDD
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「喜歡」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWLauPLvn9
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「太好了⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OJLI5mJEe
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JIgcOw7Fu
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如果⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HZlXOjwGI
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83nTIyOxP6
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來得太突然了，去得太突然367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuwaS7hbw6
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「什麼？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88pE2wLlpf
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjm4kaUHsk
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUOGAC7IWs
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez3MiuYG0W
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOmxoMxLgX
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「⋯對不起⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDbQky4Ixu
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對不起有什麼用？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWvxt5m2je
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道歉又有什麼用？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKnA7fvg9G
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卻367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEhGH6e5jT
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNVqX8E587
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要説再見了嗎？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9JNBY6grt
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我不想367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfbo4Islbp
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNLRQue8Kr
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtM5k10XURl
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我不想那樣子367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4hpYw9ZLi
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0eMCxXptK
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5quxsP2RG
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不在這般的前半生之後367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1dbbjgLQX
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⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zZubGm7y5
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無論如何，日子倒是來了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7G7vV1XGJU
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最後的笑容，就在當刻367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlPMsx54z6
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHihuinp5Wm
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf81d6KgSo7我不接受367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWYa6IHWMs
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8nlp4lvlQ我不接受367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUuSactDPE
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—— 啾 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvPcely4gV
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我不接受367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6ekhRbywi
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「賀羽⋯？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisOcyNQ4i3
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—— 啾 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u8lgALQLi
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybhEpr96rY
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwSSMO73Ju
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我不接受這樣的結果367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMPXRRQ8Aj
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUruQFtmE0
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2LtSfIhBF
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpAVMzwGJW
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我的本性367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1Y0wawxe5
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfbYWLDdbu
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—— 啪 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GIH0Aw0mH
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「給我閉嘴」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNilGDJmu3r
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXslnhVrpal
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我終究只是野獸而已呢367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqpli11p8S
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbAMNDjNzD
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJa0BjHmerR
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而作為人形野獸真的該死367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeABZRlGBc
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如此痛苦也是活該367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQtkvA6PWj
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忘記不能也是367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfgywJSSND
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPTYNfui9r
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObdtPF86aj
「張開口！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbV5GhXh96
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7v13ymxAP
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發現了嗎？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1ilpChat3
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGilparVRl
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99WHsIFA5v
這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9kf1TymF8
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk670QqhQlk
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「為什麼⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkbNUSCO0v
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我所嚮往的367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNMsfzVsXZ
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所謂的367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVH9h4Cepup
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「正常」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz7nmwJ0aV
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純粹是個謊言367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kLkoWWlHt
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrVa594B2y
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5286cSXzn6
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⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5yqna1I9Q
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所以說，我是異類嗎？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC00NLMQDEg
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「⋯⋯再見了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvTGvL4H3P
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當然367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39MjmnCBuH
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9JlCHR66H
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyYQ8bRh5v
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ItEiEDqoM
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「嘿⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCW2TFeFxIl
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自討而已367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpYjMCAlzh
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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