致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJU1OEbmR9
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前提，是特殊情況之下366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jO2wmRjPo
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFxZCI39bW
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大概366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyevVkeU2RI
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnA3jpQ0jhr
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLA0VhhmJJM
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「⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8JbYukdke
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmzYz0OWL9
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S9ERzKttt
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA0eOrVSmk
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQtFe4Rp14
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不良日常性時候366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DICqmIeco
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CppXFDonb
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkkwxMIubA
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMeN9hf9q7
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ3BE20U7o
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkOF1Fjoet
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlbTbiyfhm
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsh0iH2SOZ
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO901zNIqk
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HT4u0siVS
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDJwDOKBiJ
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「呀！來了、來了！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdENRrfM6bg
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「走啊～」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ938XGaROXw
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUegkfLTBSY
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsSFafFXCa
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他366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZdXM1cnev
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「又被欺負了嗎？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqTq9okkA3
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlRfkyhd4P
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowHYnBCv0S
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NjFc7tBQX
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmzoLPFrU4
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolrmOVwZPR
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⋯⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oAK3SWeYD
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怎也好呢366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIO55ZLeqY
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「⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhaTbDYaAh
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTUDgpOuAa
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE9YjyylU8
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—— 咔 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzXmtzRUEZ
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⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssYMv37Cs1
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⋯⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW01D4mHVqj
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRnY9sqQXD
「嗚⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxdTBYHqsP
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7OrKUNEkO
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjvSZiRtvM
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tshiBiJJ9
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「啊？！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgfqtZ7pwM
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—— 啪噹 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLkJqOiXS2
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2JtnwAoUH
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UbJzSChhc
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她一樣366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6CivSkLJW
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JYVTX60MJ
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehn1YfjpYP
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「對不起！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQACfKDP46
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrbDTyRBK4
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「來」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R76hsZPve
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「⋯謝謝」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSORHj6b2H
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61XnLVnbhd
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gqVw61sSk
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGAxRe5gd7
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVU2aqyDQH
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「那個，水無月？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm5SGvbBxe
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「怎麼了？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOJ7EuPMao
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHOK4sjDue
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各種366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIb40m41Vf
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyKyq1krVZ
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTP3i79Min
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且只能回味366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92e3y3SgvH
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「回來了嗎，島見？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gl7Hmg4c1
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRv7CG82wj
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2xzpgyQt0
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0MRhtwlsf
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「媽媽⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL5ixnvvw2
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「⋯⋯是的？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyhW8XNMCG
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCiEQNcwpR
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvVs6DxOnr
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdDVWpmLJJ
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGy3dU5dNB
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呢366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznQoEoNdtA
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog3J7Pwb9o
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KMkervM72
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtudQNRbD79
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「欸？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SJiQydOS1
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8F45bpGgC
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「這樣嗎⋯？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHDbenTnDZ
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9fu1MSgVr
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「生日快樂！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgAdCdQTww
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO6mD5T3v5
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太過成功才使人後悔啊366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pTY7DtWJZ
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8444iZfTIm
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「⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqdNEWUshm
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhbpM9oHjM
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—— 噗 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQATGYBNrrI
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「喜歡」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcbUxeQQnb
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaCvlfdfhs
「賀羽？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuqM2wyhZk
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oSUrpPepc
「太好了⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxgeSgQ2Hh
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7M1kXmYOp
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如果⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVacw4BP6cm
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHZSTbp1YK
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來得太突然了，去得太突然366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LpollFhc9
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366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg4E6Fr7cM好痛366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFrFrmwFIv
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「什麼？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDeBxHS2Er
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4YRluoevU
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOzWbPcXmB
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfUxYa8Eu3
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2UFFINf38
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「⋯對不起⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ucu0fLsqL
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對不起有什麼用？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVYYuCSFt3
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道歉又有什麼用？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtHGEFrRRF
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卻366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hFXXfFmD1
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD4oVM7g8C
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要説再見了嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lDIQYRW0i
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我不想366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5n1of86Q3
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1TABmgrku
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NAQiI4KPT
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我不想那樣子366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytvltBUCRF
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYrO48iysO
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDN1PztZ36
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不在這般的前半生之後366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgeSrVzOKC
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⋯⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkHO2pZuhV
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無論如何，日子倒是來了366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGuY2ZB868
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最後的笑容，就在當刻366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOWfDLRgIS
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzCCqSfplP
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1ipOSHYcp我不接受366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfQbmwvXaW
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNlaXNYlxt我不接受366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiskFWvH1s
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHbXHFOiQt
—— 啾 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWwUjyMmBL
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我不接受366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRduhxuEB6
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「賀羽⋯？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60YRcY0Ft5
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—— 啾 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUN6YONt5X
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS68utwp74H
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG14KuKlye
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我不接受這樣的結果366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndoaiCJRV0
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NA0j0AXVq
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TOlVqMkng
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEZ8tBOCad
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我的本性366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPWiJLgkbJ
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8B9cxGlF1
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—— 啪 ——366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kObqvMDII
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「給我閉嘴」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhSFlUrY3Y
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWqcaMYtm7
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我終究只是野獸而已呢366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2qvTI6uEO
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP8ebxv5Hl
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7Zd50pQDi
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而作為人形野獸真的該死366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvwLMxR43c
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如此痛苦也是活該366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeaO1m0Mlz
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忘記不能也是366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2n4IWLSQG
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPHXAtvCzw
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJAiZsB5Vw
「張開口！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfCIjBFbLM
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAUcoxUKcG
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發現了嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOD2bVNo7v
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqph4xpRY6I
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMFSM0ZZ69
這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ302ke3QR
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmxeU23EaC
我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAGgsm6Hht
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「為什麼⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEPHlNJP1g
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我所嚮往的366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP3oBkNwKA
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所謂的366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpQSp1C5H4
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「正常」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaFLgXTorc
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純粹是個謊言366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtp8ObUqck
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnHxcauaKS
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB66okHw8cO
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⋯⋯366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUrlQUDIU4
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所以說，我是異類嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFO8S1RtP5
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「⋯⋯再見了」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmJmbsUBlb
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當然366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpiFsKhpXn
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAJaI7euRq
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8uyvhfd89
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRu1lXNbZF
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「嘿⋯」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdLu1TqTWf
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自討而已366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzzwfcc2PJ
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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