惡名之下
——————————————
致不想回想起的記憶
————————————
375Please respect copyright.PENANArVUwEyq0Fo
375Please respect copyright.PENANADEeuKgOZs8
我不是那種「一般」的孩子375Please respect copyright.PENANAIW3E9bDeYE
375Please respect copyright.PENANAon3ttPCPr7
但特殊得來,又不叫人驕傲的特別375Please respect copyright.PENANAZZzgvd4NZb
375Please respect copyright.PENANARJPmjZTd7a
375Please respect copyright.PENANAUsIoxPI1h3
童年、成長、至今,我深知自己和其他人的不同,正因如此,我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
375Please respect copyright.PENANAKGWedUS4QY
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFyTUswEIxy
不是我害怕375Please respect copyright.PENANAUX9nleTlST
375Please respect copyright.PENANAhItjb1TvXv
是害怕自身
375Please respect copyright.PENANAjaPUc5m1Fa
375Please respect copyright.PENANA3g5RXNKY8H
世界很奇怪,只是不一樣的,所謂之「特別」,往往引人恐懼,危險的出現375Please respect copyright.PENANACzgEAfHB8R
375Please respect copyright.PENANAoXunULlnb7
因為不同,意味改變375Please respect copyright.PENANA6TjTB76W7l
375Please respect copyright.PENANAuHvu0GQSgc
縱然沒人希望遇上困難,但又想克服,就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度375Please respect copyright.PENANA3fQLqkT2Mv
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFTwzMs4Wb3
卻現實中,是沒有可能發生此種事,萬物不由己生,正如沒有不勞而獲,其之獲的勞,純粹不是由自己付出而已375Please respect copyright.PENANAlDZJkoyQaL
375Please respect copyright.PENANAdzbWjLHOKE
這道理375Please respect copyright.PENANAPEHNww7tbi
375Please respect copyright.PENANAuSWOVUJ3Jn
我是明白的375Please respect copyright.PENANAapysk4hnEr
375Please respect copyright.PENANATpFtfMcnYj
但又現實中,我做不了什麼,我無法展現自己在這方面的認知375Please respect copyright.PENANAzmPuRas2a5
375Please respect copyright.PENANAa1Ir5fPpm2
375Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9S7tcMSas
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFLUmHfQOQf
375Please respect copyright.PENANAGwbnDImBm7
—— 啪喇 ——375Please respect copyright.PENANAhfmnBQVvBW
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFtBwFWJbwM
「廢物!」375Please respect copyright.PENANAP6tL6srVrJ
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎?!」375Please respect copyright.PENANAyKflmGB60W
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJSg3elaQiU
見玻璃零碎散落,深紅沾在純黑的地毯,清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發,暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地,儘管而言並非直對此方,隱約可見利片刺中了自己375Please respect copyright.PENANAcda6R3sLub
375Please respect copyright.PENANAc7DDrmK4N3
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了,作反了哦?!」375Please respect copyright.PENANAQTKeWIuwip
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦?!」375Please respect copyright.PENANAlqtqB6hpTj
375Please respect copyright.PENANAl29r6zrnZ4
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名?」375Please respect copyright.PENANALlqLdg2dQR
「該死⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAUeSzARQL1r
375Please respect copyright.PENANAGQcdvNp34W
375Please respect copyright.PENANAZgrfub9NHw
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFJWQP5S26I
使力擦著額,短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子,「咻」一聲扯開櫃門,反手便伸入其中,撥開文具,翻走書本,往當中內最深處伸去375Please respect copyright.PENANAR7OZDE9O5F
375Please respect copyright.PENANAmWr0pWC3zw
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞,還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門,女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
375Please respect copyright.PENANAYZTvYk0XKy
375Please respect copyright.PENANARZFOH5DRmG
象牙製煙斗
375Please respect copyright.PENANAds1uHxMD10
375Please respect copyright.PENANAb27ezHFc2F
勾在嘴裏,同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒,像口紅的造型,倒是金屬製,畢竟說到底才非打份用375Please respect copyright.PENANApA10iIoFYh
375Please respect copyright.PENANAhgEA5tq57t
熟練地扭開蓋鎖,拇指彈上開蓋,倒轉在煙斗的填裝位,一滴375Please respect copyright.PENANAe0ItG5ww0Z
375Please respect copyright.PENANAVj7JSjuogw
「⋯呼⋯⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAWwN3etrjmK
375Please respect copyright.PENANAAG4mvOPz05
雜草味,燒靑草的氣味,少許攻鼻,但並不濃,再者也未到刺激的程度,單純是蠻有葉綠味而已,連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在,室內散佈最強烈的,唯有植物的味道
375Please respect copyright.PENANAY5uVev4zzZ
375Please respect copyright.PENANA98QvalBvfb
背對自己,她抽著煙斗,看往窗外
375Please respect copyright.PENANArSRp7BZI02
375Please respect copyright.PENANAx02zcIN8cP
不是特別高樓層,當然整座大廈也是己業前提,地方必是自己選址選樓層
375Please respect copyright.PENANAS6E6J24vuK
375Please respect copyright.PENANAMRZyhE5iI8
若是較高的位置,是可以看到海景,朝向東邊的海藍天,以及遠方一帶沿海的密集,高樓大廈又有,不起眼的小方塊亦有,熊本縣的各沿海城市,整個一起,掃望而入眼內375Please respect copyright.PENANAHHwqGNYlTU
375Please respect copyright.PENANAIIlEHy7FXv
375Please respect copyright.PENANAcW7cjtbXAV
但她不同,她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人,自己所想的奇怪,然而又有其論點,要說的話,就是她擁有著不同自己,過於複雜而與別不同的想法375Please respect copyright.PENANAV51yUslR1B
375Please respect copyright.PENANA7wVo6cwuYE
375Please respect copyright.PENANA3sYufsspG1
375Please respect copyright.PENANAdvsEbc0cDv
作風不一,思考的模式不一樣
375Please respect copyright.PENANAUIGxSVeaGF
375Please respect copyright.PENANAPCAsCIWhbV
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面,而是這兒,這層,剛好不高於窗戶所面向,商店街的頂蓋,的一層
375Please respect copyright.PENANAy9OIJnHUNw
375Please respect copyright.PENANAqboV4Je8Tl
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口,各種
375Please respect copyright.PENANAWnPae5C7gM
375Please respect copyright.PENANApoBfKdZw12
因為她要真正的「全景」
375Please respect copyright.PENANAMH81u3U3hp
375Please respect copyright.PENANAZAZO82PAzx
我真的搞不清楚,嘛,無法理解
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFh8rqhPBco
375Please respect copyright.PENANA51fmqvDlk5
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
375Please respect copyright.PENANAfNQ5ORLh3z
375Please respect copyright.PENANAYchDxfP8A0
我知道,我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了,不但引起了刑警的注意,還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動,現在回望,嘛,還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力375Please respect copyright.PENANAgWoVqrpnxk
375Please respect copyright.PENANAdnZti79a1i
375Please respect copyright.PENANAeG9HEYe1c0
抑或說,是我一直以來,低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力375Please respect copyright.PENANAl9cUWpW482
375Please respect copyright.PENANACiMdJc6GOJ
375Please respect copyright.PENANAy2ZirtEpe0
山松組的力量375Please respect copyright.PENANAkJGpmhGaer
375Please respect copyright.PENANAH6YIX2qi38
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀?混帳⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAtLLp0DJO73
375Please respect copyright.PENANAo25CzJk2Fz
回神過來,她已經坐了在那辦工椅上,左腳放右腳膝頭,口中濃吐淡煙,即使口氣稍安定,放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾375Please respect copyright.PENANARkovf5SLgM
375Please respect copyright.PENANAIhOS8BXFTl
她是我的姐姐375Please respect copyright.PENANAWgl35wLzsX
375Please respect copyright.PENANAmpJeeZiEyL
山松組的老大375Please respect copyright.PENANAd8dcEZ52o5
375Please respect copyright.PENANAG08YLqPdm1
大和英加375Please respect copyright.PENANAEJoYGDeQt1
375Please respect copyright.PENANAE7NfsvoYKm
「說話啊」375Please respect copyright.PENANAIWQunSYjnB
375Please respect copyright.PENANAyWLrRQk6Ud
央百花375Please respect copyright.PENANAIRpy7mFhju
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJgX9rjpbYA
375Please respect copyright.PENANAOY66O57AfS
我努力地站在原處,就這樣一聲不吭,但是視線一交上,就看不了更多,看不到,尋找不到視線可聚落之處,可是呢,她可還生氣著,直對自己375Please respect copyright.PENANASFnpcXVF4T
375Please respect copyright.PENANAg3ZY8Kgdsc
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
375Please respect copyright.PENANAfAcqlrgPDG
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
375Please respect copyright.PENANAMQfQsoDs1l
「就讓我倆在這,一直⋯一直在這」
375Please respect copyright.PENANALdmrEYKMcB
「在這一起浪費時間,反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」375Please respect copyright.PENANA446YSeYA8W
375Please respect copyright.PENANApEbwlSFiMm
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1V247tEwC
「⋯⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAxirPWFKOXl
375Please respect copyright.PENANAd7NaJQcidG
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出,曾有再多的話,希望反駁、說理,又說不出,不在她面前375Please respect copyright.PENANAh5Y2sycpuk
375Please respect copyright.PENANAandtYc8foX
375Please respect copyright.PENANAU9hRMDPhGe
我不只是害怕,畢竟目前為止,一生中最敬重,亦最不喜歡的,也是她,我的姐姐375Please respect copyright.PENANAbGKIbgdrnv
375Please respect copyright.PENANA32gGSXikvh
她為我做了很多,太多,甚至我了解,自己所認知的,只是整幅拼圖的一小塊375Please respect copyright.PENANAZlvInwosx5
375Please respect copyright.PENANADi1imD0Ie9
理應我該做好自己就好了,對她來說是最好了375Please respect copyright.PENANAfwBWdAmWjo
375Please respect copyright.PENANALfC04nEZgJ
所以說,我到底做了什麼?375Please respect copyright.PENANABJvW5V6pJV
375Please respect copyright.PENANAesClbjuuPJ
我在反叛嗎?可能375Please respect copyright.PENANAnSA1ilYCWS
為了什麼?
為了什麼⋯?
成為些什麼的身分?
為了她的認同?
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
375Please respect copyright.PENANAf9yvi2eVtV
讓困難自己解決375Please respect copyright.PENANAYrgs5ODsAW
375Please respect copyright.PENANA1JaqkAszvx
但困難就是自己375Please respect copyright.PENANAuERDZ1uJPP
375Please respect copyright.PENANA17jS5Jh8lF
所以才裝模作樣,卻又成了反效果,或是說,我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情,而衝進去做375Please respect copyright.PENANAYs0GVMCU2s
375Please respect copyright.PENANA2F6VUQxck4
我做事沒腦根、理性,是後來的事情,日益嚴重,動不動就動氣,感性行事,這樣子便不用想了,不用想太多了375Please respect copyright.PENANAbHiBBmk6FE
375Please respect copyright.PENANAMHsFReyEt7
不用去想更多平時的負面了375Please respect copyright.PENANAzIKfR0hLQA
375Please respect copyright.PENANAjYZRPwsAS0
單憑感覺行事375Please respect copyright.PENANAJnFI1UK578
375Please respect copyright.PENANAqKwM5x6afY
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法,自己的得失,將來的後果,麻煩的各種375Please respect copyright.PENANAV1wyM9JngG
375Please respect copyright.PENANA8KsnADrWHu
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多375Please respect copyright.PENANATdvVLPv4WE
375Please respect copyright.PENANAvFebwz8GnW
確實地問我,是不是很想孤立自己?375Please respect copyright.PENANAKIrqQ1zDiS
375Please respect copyright.PENANAWBDfjlRQNT
別開玩笑375Please respect copyright.PENANAbPhnX9w9D4
375Please respect copyright.PENANAKkGaS6dRnp
但我有選擇嗎?375Please respect copyright.PENANAW3KyBJCzTz
375Please respect copyright.PENANAsSPe4pnupT
375Please respect copyright.PENANAmBdi2444y0
注定無法「正常」地生活的我,注定混混噩噩過日子的自己,大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧?375Please respect copyright.PENANAW75IBV5Yb5
375Please respect copyright.PENANAHA5OP4hldU
不過單是自己也是375Please respect copyright.PENANAzMS4C3u2HI
375Please respect copyright.PENANAHR2mmw3D5E
我不想這樣子375Please respect copyright.PENANAuTxuYM808B
375Please respect copyright.PENANA67x10KgHAn
375Please respect copyright.PENANAnnejVyA6DX
我不希望這樣子的「特別」375Please respect copyright.PENANARv6D65qYhU
375Please respect copyright.PENANAeXwh0bOtlG
375Please respect copyright.PENANAi3bzeHfLml
但對自己來說,所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天,也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎?
375Please respect copyright.PENANAUM8fFKMWck
當初的命運已經被注定,因為自己是大和氏,因為和那混帳有關係,因為⋯因為375Please respect copyright.PENANAbmbddaotVT
375Please respect copyright.PENANAK1tVF0KbyY
我根本沒有能力去保護自己375Please respect copyright.PENANA7rvxgbXzBP
375Please respect copyright.PENANAuZmMreXbpB
沒有能力375Please respect copyright.PENANAPC2PCwprhz
375Please respect copyright.PENANASDt563RYJE
一直以來也是375Please respect copyright.PENANAsmG8nF1qGN
375Please respect copyright.PENANACRaDuFLFaX
375Please respect copyright.PENANA6YDjeoYSNF
我⋯⋯375Please respect copyright.PENANABjXc5aP5xO
375Please respect copyright.PENANAWQhdw7XwV4
375Please respect copyright.PENANAbTXpQXkQay
我375Please respect copyright.PENANAJIMQmfbKjx
375Please respect copyright.PENANAazpwV69a90
375Please respect copyright.PENANAHto2NA6Ckb
375Please respect copyright.PENANAFPZ9gNfUHR
375Please respect copyright.PENANAkmTjaUOczI
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJLrmCJQyQO
375Please respect copyright.PENANAKuLavIRW08
我根本沒有選擇375Please respect copyright.PENANA1YcmvdV8HO
375Please respect copyright.PENANAx5khJY7X6o
375Please respect copyright.PENANA6dUKlleobQ
現在的話,選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯375Please respect copyright.PENANAcUkO3fJAbp
375Please respect copyright.PENANAkcNninezqd
375Please respect copyright.PENANArwySO2oqFT
算啦⋯375Please respect copyright.PENANA4cfYscOU4D
375Please respect copyright.PENANAkJUq6kiIM6
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定,一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
375Please respect copyright.PENANAO4Q6jtRmDz
375Please respect copyright.PENANAppkUi7C1IO
375Please respect copyright.PENANAgUJ6cgOsA2
375Please respect copyright.PENANAYGFOqLoYlH
「⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAC8IN0UllBG
375Please respect copyright.PENANA8RdEkSR8VU
375Please respect copyright.PENANAaEFAdGD3b3
怎也沒所謂了375Please respect copyright.PENANAAs6HOH4nvG
375Please respect copyright.PENANA1mtgAC04ts
375Please respect copyright.PENANAxecmgal3kx
「⋯算了」375Please respect copyright.PENANARu0c624qSD
「我要出去食晚飯了」375Please respect copyright.PENANANkSOx55rN3
「你打算怎樣子呢」375Please respect copyright.PENANAOec1bfNkR5
375Please respect copyright.PENANAVUImkZkjWl
375Please respect copyright.PENANAlXqhPole0W
375Please respect copyright.PENANADzU99L2GOO
「⋯⋯嗯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAeglvOaTQ46
375Please respect copyright.PENANAbb74ksHwP8
375Please respect copyright.PENANAE5yRVTLjhh
375Please respect copyright.PENANAHHu4OjgwXv
375Please respect copyright.PENANAeanNqeaFUi
沒所謂了375Please respect copyright.PENANAKx74ZbQ5Km
375Please respect copyright.PENANAAwhdRa3Nzv
375Please respect copyright.PENANAW8B1AXAJjY
「⋯⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAHGvevVoQJJ
375Please respect copyright.PENANAIp4FhdNMNJ
375Please respect copyright.PENANAtgIXbf4cpI
375Please respect copyright.PENANAL6Q4tFJcCg
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了375Please respect copyright.PENANAcJ9oZulkAb
375Please respect copyright.PENANAJYRwvRZ2YY
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場375Please respect copyright.PENANAaP0QHXpNy3
375Please respect copyright.PENANASd5sm9tMoD
反正375Please respect copyright.PENANAU7YmmaIi6t
375Please respect copyright.PENANAjhY6SoBqsN
375Please respect copyright.PENANAW9myrGgyOn
「⋯」375Please respect copyright.PENANAxdcbbQj40K
375Please respect copyright.PENANA987O6dovdv
「笨蛋」375Please respect copyright.PENANAby3BO1oblW
375Please respect copyright.PENANAjVUvQqUTw0
我是不值得被愛被相信的惡名之子