[我們做的東西才不會爆炸]487Please respect copyright.PENANAALpqmmJrEB
487Please respect copyright.PENANAW4AZLOUfe0
地精跟哥布林是一體同源只是稱呼上有差別,不過可以了解的是它們做的東西都會爆炸。487Please respect copyright.PENANAgbkF7igYVZ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAgcBKraD0MP
地精跟侏儒不一樣,不過名稱常搞混,還有侏儒做得東西不會爆炸。487Please respect copyright.PENANAj50h7bvyBK
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQgdRFwfdiU
這座島上有一堆侏儒跟地精,地精總以為他們跟侏儒是同種人,而對岸的哥布林認為地精跟它們是同族,地精又說侏儒跟它們同族,所以哥布林跟侏儒應該是同族。487Please respect copyright.PENANACmTJiYykL4
487Please respect copyright.PENANAtpPLNwmNbo
侏儒心裡很明白我們不是地精也不是哥布林,而且侏儒也知道我們做的東西才不會爆炸。487Please respect copyright.PENANAm11oU4mYXo
487Please respect copyright.PENANArAjojLKPP6
※487Please respect copyright.PENANA4B84vbC2X9
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxRbZP2ZdMo
地精做的東西都會爆炸,所以他們認為爆炸是很正常的。487Please respect copyright.PENANAz8L91rvtL8
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVBpPLhO2nt
侏儒可不這麼認為,會爆炸就代表是瑕疵品,會爆炸就可能有死傷。487Please respect copyright.PENANAtqLMfqGblJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANALmeec9W2Bv
有一陣子地精跟侏儒在爭吵「半永續魔石能源爐」的設置。487Please respect copyright.PENANAkCiGAZE5LC
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQLdIkWvTMS
這實在是時代的錯誤,地精那偉大的先代大酋長(已故)妄想開發出可以打倒哥布林酋長的魔法兵器,而這種魔法兵器需要半永續魔法能源爐排出的廢礦。487Please respect copyright.PENANAeCp192mKDF
487Please respect copyright.PENANA8LYdPl6PEE
所以地精們一口氣蓋了三座舊型爐,現在還想蓋第四座。要不是後來東方的精靈大人察覺了大酋長的野心,恐怕現在島上已經十幾座了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAxITn9365GW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAl68im0Gae3
後來好不容易地精們有機會做第四座,可是這下侏儒們就不爽了,這島就這麼小,只要其中一個能源爐爆炸大概會有一半的地方受到汙染不能住人,你還想蓋第四座?487Please respect copyright.PENANAXbofqbKGu3
487Please respect copyright.PENANAu6fN10pp15
這是想留島不留侏儒嗎?487Please respect copyright.PENANA3J1oX3b5eB
487Please respect copyright.PENANAajLkqfGYNX
地精當然不這麼想,爆炸很正常,它們反而覺得前三座能源爐不爆炸太不正常了,這一定是侏儒們細心維護的結果。487Please respect copyright.PENANASIqAQh0icw
487Please respect copyright.PENANA4wc2aMn1CM
這不符合地精的風格,是的地精把東西蓋完就不管了,基本上的維護都是侏儒來做的。487Please respect copyright.PENANA99r84wPFmB
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVEF3o4fkAW
誰叫侏儒是個有責任感的種族呢?更不用說,有些侏儒為了這件事還被其他侏儒當成叛徒呢。487Please respect copyright.PENANA3jrDTRc5Su
487Please respect copyright.PENANAuTEuh5CF3u
就不想想真要爆炸了是算在誰身上?倒楣的還是侏儒啊。487Please respect copyright.PENANABsgeIWGh05
487Please respect copyright.PENANAbeGS7rloS8
至於地精?他們大不了爆炸了回去西方跟哥布林們討生活而已,侏儒可是沒地方可去了,但那又跟地精們何干呢?487Please respect copyright.PENANAdvFNSOqiX5
487Please respect copyright.PENANAqWJrS2z71B
地精向來就是自私的,只想到自己的事,就跟哥布林一樣。487Please respect copyright.PENANAbZIQ9aVdAV
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5AyRYq8cl
※487Please respect copyright.PENANApXNXEIWgTQ
487Please respect copyright.PENANA105y64pxso
其實追根究柢,地精做的東西會爆炸跟它們的民族性脫不了關係。487Please respect copyright.PENANAcr4jY9P8pW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAGpZx4s8nd4
他們真的很容易搞混東西,可以把攝氏十度跟十公分單位搞混,當然不用期待他們做的東西品質良好。487Please respect copyright.PENANACq3J5rF12t
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1h6lFVxuMe
侏儒都知道魔法道具的品質跟製作者的數學觀念好壞有很大的關連性,這個很重要的概念,地精是沒有的。487Please respect copyright.PENANAECyRWeyrHM
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxlRpWX36IG
「只要看起來沒問題就行了,你們怎麼這麼挑?」487Please respect copyright.PENANAIJFiASbhpa
487Please respect copyright.PENANAF96cuei1uw
這是地精最喜歡掛在嘴邊的話,當然,哥布林也喜歡。487Please respect copyright.PENANAtmRuIORbGD
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2znjG443nS
所以說,只要看起來沒問題的話,地精根本不在意那麼多,當然囉,嗜錢如命的地精只要能夠節省成本,標準要多寬就會有多寬。487Please respect copyright.PENANAV85E42zuDE
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJTz4mXm6Db
最有名的莫過於某件假油製造案。487Please respect copyright.PENANA0zTJ5O458g
487Please respect copyright.PENANA7W1IwN9POh
大家都知道食用油跟煉金術合成後得到的廢油產物是不同的,前者能吃,後者不能吃。487Please respect copyright.PENANAjvnr8SO8q4
487Please respect copyright.PENANATlHlvuvVkI
有個地精商人不知道哪來的點子,竟然回收煉金術合成後的廢油重新精煉調味,製造出看起來可以吃的食用油。487Please respect copyright.PENANADxktxV7uzc
487Please respect copyright.PENANA57KOgW1AzZ
這新聞被好事的妖精們爆料出來後,侏儒紛紛發起了對這位地精商人的抵制運動。487Please respect copyright.PENANALqYJTcdxiS
487Please respect copyright.PENANAWiHS6Tgpzm
那時候人心惶惶,倒是一堆地精拿那些廢油再製品炸東西,賣給不知情的侏儒跟外地人。487Please respect copyright.PENANAQwCZCQWJ4f
487Please respect copyright.PENANAYvn79riHSE
不為什麼,就是便宜啊。天然的食用油算是加工品,會消耗大量的橄欖或牲畜。但煉金術廢油一開始就是不用錢了,甚至餘回收廢油,煉金術師還得另外付一筆錢給你。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhjII8q7ulN
487Please respect copyright.PENANAwuttqTyCp6
無本生意是人人做,有了一個就會有第二個,等到妖精們把消息都傳出去後,侏儒們才知道這十幾年它們吃的東西到底有多噁心。487Please respect copyright.PENANAe2DuJtEfVM
487Please respect copyright.PENANAvt1oJKWjJv
可是那些地精哪管這些?這錢賺得可爽了,看起來能吃就行了,檢驗也符合標準啊!487Please respect copyright.PENANAmWaSPEjDAJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAexSV09YoMO
大多數的地精都是這樣想著:487Please respect copyright.PENANA57lwD52Dws
487Please respect copyright.PENANAqmU9nsIJcv
侏儒們的身體太弱了,才會拒絕吃這種油,真是沒出息。487Please respect copyright.PENANAb36tAZxFbT
487Please respect copyright.PENANAu5evrVqNGX
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAsLSBu7DSf2
487Please respect copyright.PENANAy4Q0eiF2vH
如果你以為地精們都是笨蛋,那你就錯了。所有的地精都有其狡猾的一面,小看它們可是會吃不完兜著走。487Please respect copyright.PENANAGlu1Re6RYg
487Please respect copyright.PENANAo7OYR2dVEK
事實上,地精的數字觀念並不輸給侏儒。只不過他們在意的數字只跟金錢有關,與金錢無關的數字他們是會選擇性無視的。487Please respect copyright.PENANAQslHQPDPdO
487Please respect copyright.PENANA4lQufBl3hR
地精對自己子女最常問的問題是:487Please respect copyright.PENANAkOXw4Zy2E0
487Please respect copyright.PENANA7QicPEBOm4
「你做這個有甚麼用?是能賺到錢嗎?」487Please respect copyright.PENANAvqb8oxofSP
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjWoxXIaDak
這句話就是地精的核心價值,對它們來說有沒有用跟他能不能賺到錢有關。487Please respect copyright.PENANAOh15mie67K
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxLUqSOLFop
所以賠錢貨跟無法賺錢的東西都是沒有用的廢物,是可以捨棄的。487Please respect copyright.PENANASls5WEr6VL
487Please respect copyright.PENANAKVFK8b3X3o
並不是說錢不重要,侏儒也很重視錢,沒有金錢很多事都做不到。487Please respect copyright.PENANAlhTJHx1NCa
487Please respect copyright.PENANArfJkeKTzYw
每一個有理智的侏儒都知道,金錢只是一個工具,它不能成為一個價值觀。487Please respect copyright.PENANAQdmQdcBpaK
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1lq5okEqOy
但是對地精來說,金錢就是它們的價值觀。487Please respect copyright.PENANAy8e3KiYHWR
487Please respect copyright.PENANAoWACIznCoD
為了金錢,它們可以犧牲一切,包括自己在內。487Please respect copyright.PENANADD3lVg09Y8
487Please respect copyright.PENANAk8F0Q31EdB
當然我們不能說這樣的價值觀是錯誤的,但是搭配上地精的差不多先生民族性,這就很要命了。487Please respect copyright.PENANARX2uBL3ZBS
487Please respect copyright.PENANA76oLhzpWWh
魔法工業用酒精跟食用酒是差不多的,可是魔法工業用酒精很便宜,我們就拿這個當酒來賣吧!487Please respect copyright.PENANAD4LTwvS1uJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANA6tNhcJpz7v
魔法工業用明礬跟可食用明礬看起來一樣,可是魔法工業用明礬比較便宜,所以我們就…487Please respect copyright.PENANABdQcDe0Ubh
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1ofEWcPlc4
塑化劑跟起雲劑加到食物裡面造成的效果看起來差不多,可是塑化劑比較便宜,所以我們就…487Please respect copyright.PENANAtHxOxoEhyV
487Please respect copyright.PENANAWAAYkSHsGL
嘿!地精的難兄難弟哥布林們也常幹一樣的事情,看他們之前把魔法變出來的毒牛奶當成真的牛奶賣就…487Please respect copyright.PENANAeHy1EAZF0v
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOQqQKy6V2d
這些層出不窮的案例不是只有在食物上面,舉凡交通、建築、衣服等都有。487Please respect copyright.PENANAeY11xNdFwD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxzrhHcuXW1
搞得侏儒人心惶惶,不管做甚麼都怕遇到劣質商品。487Please respect copyright.PENANAI3Pw4ltnFM
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0U0tWiE1D
可能有人有疑問,那些地精跟哥布林們就不怕嗎?487Please respect copyright.PENANAfyZgo943TY
487Please respect copyright.PENANAZqw9x8Wp7B
當然不怕,只要看到那些黃澄澄的金幣,他們開心都來不及了,還怕甚麼?487Please respect copyright.PENANAHkcyRoRSFe
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVhD1AJY8sY
※487Please respect copyright.PENANASt08L0w3Tf
487Please respect copyright.PENANAafSr74VlJa
地精可以說是最沒有同理心的種族,它們很少用同理心去跟思考事情。487Please respect copyright.PENANAw8D7J6yDf9
487Please respect copyright.PENANAucxFwAIyQc
如果有一件事對它們自己有利卻對其他人有害,它們就算知道了也會毫不猶豫地去做。487Please respect copyright.PENANAM1vCVHBrEJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjOejoQOkUY
沒有比地精還要自私的種族了,哥布林除外。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhe6vONrS46
487Please respect copyright.PENANA40y1YIFc98
跟地精打交道是很浪費時間的一件事,其一是它們很狡猾,其二是它們無法理解他人的困難。487Please respect copyright.PENANAwtNv7XTS1L
487Please respect copyright.PENANAuPd4Uee8aL
這點就連地精工程師自己都覺得很煩,是的,再強調一次,連它們自己都覺得很煩。487Please respect copyright.PENANAMBHonlEl4r
487Please respect copyright.PENANAo5Ad9d7Q2v
地精商人在要求工程施行時最喜歡說的一句話就是:487Please respect copyright.PENANAiAvj14XYEr
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOrzMSE3ga1
「我不管,你們一定要在時限內完成,無法完成是你們自己的問題。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAambD44A7wk
487Please respect copyright.PENANAfndOvDzT54
同樣的意思放在不同人嘴裡會有不同的表現:487Please respect copyright.PENANA9j8s0RoHW4
487Please respect copyright.PENANAkpLDlvBeUF
「考不好是你努力不夠,是你自己的問題。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAiofHiDtqg4
487Please respect copyright.PENANANy1oviXzmT
「薪水低是你不夠努力,是你自己的問題。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAesgpUqJDZr
487Please respect copyright.PENANA7XZDA1bUcr
「無法使用魔法是你不夠努力,是你自己的問題。」487Please respect copyright.PENANADRDdlOzujy
487Please respect copyright.PENANAlJpbetAJrc
附帶一提,地精的魔法天賦簡直是負的,它們的種族從未誕生過一個魔法師。但他們總會選擇性迴避這個問題,假裝魔法師這個職業並不存在。487Please respect copyright.PENANAPT1iKtjMbD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAqhH9OuTkGL
過去,地精的老大哥哥布林們曾經大肆獵殺國內的魔法師跟巫師。很顯然地對這對難兄難弟來說,解決問題的關鍵永遠都在他人身上,而不是自己身上。487Please respect copyright.PENANAq328bLW4iU
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxp3FgJeukb
※487Please respect copyright.PENANA5K2ZfWqOrI
487Please respect copyright.PENANAUnekVIqQbS
大多數的地精都有點小聰明,該佔便宜的時候毫不留情。487Please respect copyright.PENANAkQzS6rBttJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANABnUKWp5dDn
但這些地精被騙的機率也大到不可思議。487Please respect copyright.PENANAB6yBWMW7GO
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHOXNBrRYCK
那些受騙的地精總是有一堆藉口可以說服自己被騙,比方說:487Please respect copyright.PENANAYoFliyZCyX
487Please respect copyright.PENANAPBJR4jJ7LV
「我那麼聰明,一定不會被騙。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAyRFoF5J3zh
487Please respect copyright.PENANACwTZkUoob5
「人家跟我是親友,不會那麼過分。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAVgtt007Xw0
487Please respect copyright.PENANAnlQClRtJ3i
「是我運氣太好,抽到大獎正常。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAoYAZKfv4Eq
487Please respect copyright.PENANAgYsMVFLDjZ
「不可能那麼倒楣就被我遇上。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAYOTi6hNX1i
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQgC5hsXDS0
很遺憾地,不幸遇上詐欺事件後,財物損失的機率幾乎是百分之百。487Please respect copyright.PENANASlTlwpKhgh
487Please respect copyright.PENANA0PJ1p3dGib
常常就有地精傻傻地在魔法師銀行裡面利用魔法傳送了一些金幣給騙徒後,才在事後發現被騙而捶胸頓足懊悔不已。487Please respect copyright.PENANAZPsDy7qKyp
487Please respect copyright.PENANAROZzcebWhz
更好笑的是,大多數的地精都是被自己人給騙了。487Please respect copyright.PENANA6hOSBcPsex
487Please respect copyright.PENANANJNfhIqgy6
是的,只有地精懂得怎麼騙地精,地精是世界上最狡詐的種族,也是最愚蠢的種族。487Please respect copyright.PENANASi3XVsYUMy
487Please respect copyright.PENANANaKUk6g2eA
這個世界各種高級詐欺都是在地精手上發揚光大的。487Please respect copyright.PENANASSglHoHNOG
487Please respect copyright.PENANAP2eFyR9ztX
最有名的就是「飛馬彩券詐欺」案件。487Please respect copyright.PENANA72xDE6NbjD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAz1IVTW8ZkC
飛馬彩券是由飛馬通運公司發行,這間公司的老闆為了吸引客人使用他們的貨運服務,想到了利用彩券的點子。487Please respect copyright.PENANAIpGhxhDxVH
487Please respect copyright.PENANArmAzYjb5LM
只要使用郵件服務就會在收件者的信件裡夾一張飛馬彩券,只要刮開彩券的魔法塗層就會看到一組符文,符文記載的內容就是彩券的獎品。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEq5FnXywjX
487Please respect copyright.PENANALB4wHALQyS
透過這樣的方式,公司的業績也扶搖直上。但不久後就被一些有心的地精偽造各種山寨的彩券,夾雜在飛馬公司負責的郵件裡面。487Please respect copyright.PENANA1cZMyuqfd0
487Please respect copyright.PENANApWNs2Vr6Z2
這彩券的中獎率自然是百分之百,金額也高得嚇人。所以收到彩券的地精在刮開彩券的當下通常會興奮地找不著北,然後順著彩券上記載的魔法通訊號碼,拿起魔法傳聲機撥號過來。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEDbOs2MXeb
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1fIiNVhd1X
當然這獎品是注定拿不到的,但詐騙集團的地精會巧立各種名目,說為了政府法規或者運費等等,要求對方先匯出一筆不小的金額。487Please respect copyright.PENANA7EtOpTLF67
487Please respect copyright.PENANACkXzhOqjuk
然後就沒有然後了,獎品不可能給人,錢也拿不回來了。只有被騙的地精整天望眼欲穿地等著,直到他發現自己受騙為止。487Please respect copyright.PENANA3z9uxVfg8P
487Please respect copyright.PENANAi1JVH8dLwC
聽說受害者高達萬人,總詐騙金額少說一千萬枚金幣。而遭受池魚之殃的飛馬通運公司在此之後信用破產,營運不擅而倒閉了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAXp9IqArcgQ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHMdGjq75B6
但是類似類型的彩券詐欺依然沒有消蝕,反而以各種不同形式混入了其他貨運公司的信件中,直到現在依然有腦筋不太好的老地精會被假的彩券獎品誘惑,最後騙光身上所有的退休金老本。487Please respect copyright.PENANAbAbQ3GhES5
487Please respect copyright.PENANACVsoJVEpuh
而那些詐欺犯地精呢?呵呵,就算真的被警察給抓了,也不過關個幾年就能出獄。如果關幾年就能騙到幾百萬金幣,那還真的沒甚麼地精會怕。 487Please respect copyright.PENANAewaincGXwg
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHMiY9qeNXk
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAZPnQAKuvy8
487Please respect copyright.PENANAq8RfH5zVM7
說到這裡,就不得不批評一下地精的賭性堅強。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhJgAITHyy4
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEw0pssqsqF
地精非常愛賭博,他們對賭博的怨念遠大於其他種族。487Please respect copyright.PENANATb4XhnU5cs
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOcv5lfVGWQ
對於西方的精靈來說賭博是一種娛樂,但是對地精來說,賭博就是一種賺錢投資。487Please respect copyright.PENANAWJEwfHNNYf
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjOIjFeeujt
可能有人會認為投資一樣有風險,跟賭博差不多吧?487Please respect copyright.PENANAK0R61hNjxp
487Please respect copyright.PENANAoKkxcnLWPh
是的,看起來的確是差不多沒錯。所以對地精來說,這兩樣東西就是同一樣東西了。487Please respect copyright.PENANA56J1PYvIeL
487Please respect copyright.PENANALGmLjdF01B
只有侏儒知道賭博跟投資的差別在哪裡,差異最多就是那個時間。487Please respect copyright.PENANAYnNwOUeePY
487Please respect copyright.PENANAYZEvQ4iKDz
賭博的勝負都是即時的居多,你下注,然後賭贏了就贏得報酬。投資不是,投資是你將錢才投入某項資產中,然後隨著時間演變,資產升值,你的投資才能得到報酬。487Please respect copyright.PENANAl7dgwvil4T
487Please respect copyright.PENANARqski5JLdQ
地精才不想搞懂這些複雜的東西,大多數的地精都很急性子。487Please respect copyright.PENANABLGv6BegrD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAZYofk04G0o
他們沒有耐心知道投資利基在哪,風險多高,又要花多少時間才能回收成本。487Please respect copyright.PENANAzd6Fw05J07
487Please respect copyright.PENANALKQi6Iwdzp
寧願去賭機率,賭運氣,錢甩出去就要馬上看到獲利。487Please respect copyright.PENANA2ydwKK7ciy
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7G4CyDges
地精們早就賭習慣了,為了滿足他們的賭癮,島上的政府還聯合幾家魔法師銀行開創了一種叫做「樂透」的魔法機器。487Please respect copyright.PENANAIMVzroaD00
487Please respect copyright.PENANAsEBOyCKAHf
每隔二四六機器就會吐出一長串的數字,只要有地精用這組數字買樂透券,他就可以贏得所有買樂透券賭金的二分之一。487Please respect copyright.PENANAETpHNEXBZu
487Please respect copyright.PENANAG5vMNIClQ0
欸?你說剩下的二分之一賭金去哪了?當然是進政府跟銀行口袋了啊,不然怎麼會只有二分之一?487Please respect copyright.PENANAXGAw4wl3S2
487Please respect copyright.PENANA3uzAuSMrfB
當然,為了照顧社會大眾的觀感,主辦的政府跟銀行都說「我們會拿出彩金的一部份來照顧弱勢族群」,至於拿多少那就不知道了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAA1Imq6aOWJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANA74uRDcC5bj
如果你以為這個「樂透魔法」是獨創的,那你又錯了,幾十年前,就有地精們想出一種叫做「六喝蔡」的魔法機器,運作模式跟簽賭方式幾乎跟「樂透」一模一樣。差別在於一個是政府跟銀行帶頭,一個是私人帶頭。487Please respect copyright.PENANAzRrAx9fLkk
487Please respect copyright.PENANAwJEyGenjuJ
後來因為「六喝蔡」的魔法機器太容易被邪惡的法師入侵操縱,加上私有的簽賭組織收完錢後,常有地精會捲款潛逃,結果玩得人就越來越少了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAIo9oRiUjZw
487Please respect copyright.PENANAKLbjl3bEpR
除了「六喝蔡」、「樂透」以外,地精們還有「運動彩券」、「傌蔣」、「波青割」等多采多姿的賭博方式。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFuCxEmAMf5
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEmbufuXkdI
要談賭博,還真的沒有哪個種族比地精還要感興趣的。不過奇怪的是,地精們非常不喜歡賭場。487Please respect copyright.PENANAXfzpk0uVYb
487Please respect copyright.PENANAS8lXRjy0Wf
島上的政府是有提案建設賭場過,可是因為地精們奇怪的道德觀,竟然就被否決了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAl5YUJt1JYv
487Please respect copyright.PENANAlxHtdMRRhS
一個如此愛好賭博的種族卻會排斥賭場,這對島上的侏儒們來說始終是一個難解的謎。487Please respect copyright.PENANAKnEk8Ea7Np
487Please respect copyright.PENANAYa7XYUZ7YM
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAmjq7WqHPkW
487Please respect copyright.PENANABS3noHqkVI
其實地精還是會做投資的,它們最喜歡的投資叫做「方地鏟」487Please respect copyright.PENANAu1PUIiS0YP
487Please respect copyright.PENANA8DVkeiwIzB
這個「方地鏟」說穿了,就是用一種叫做「地鏟」的魔法道具把一塊土地劃為己有,然後標上一個價值後等人來收購。因為這種魔法道具大多是方形的,所以就被稱為「方地鏟」。487Please respect copyright.PENANAowjPG48n9L
487Please respect copyright.PENANAdue4IGIi32
被「方地鏟」的土地除非得到那塊魔法道具,不然是無法在土地上進行任何行為。487Please respect copyright.PENANALpwmnhZxZu
487Please respect copyright.PENANAqoRmUDQ2Kb
身為地精這個種族,既然有個地字,自然是很重視土地的。地精們認為土地是有價值的,所以買賣土地也是一種投資行為。487Please respect copyright.PENANAR3jQYnY3kz
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1Sx1FBLuna
當然,我們不能說這樣做很荒謬,畢竟價值是看人決定的。487Please respect copyright.PENANA32cCoxkWJR
487Please respect copyright.PENANAX2CfK3yHWl
但是地精們把「方地鏟」投資玩到一個簡直可以說是走火入魔的程度,那就讓人感到很無言了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEDE7ruvkZL
487Please respect copyright.PENANA50Lf65mdm6
這座島的土地畢竟是不多,但好歹也是能讓所有地精跟侏儒可以生活。487Please respect copyright.PENANAKq7DFn0AZ8
487Please respect copyright.PENANACjoD0gY47W
不可思議的是,這座島大部分的土地都被標上了價格,而且很多都是連地精自己多數人都買不起的價格。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFvCL4A6mQ7
487Please respect copyright.PENANApcvn9oBWag
是的,即使空間足夠,但這座島依然有許多地精與侏儒過著居無定所的苦日子。487Please respect copyright.PENANAwnk7KncLHZ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAPf7HQ8xi4i
這都是地精們瘋狂地投資「方地鏟」所帶來的禍患。487Please respect copyright.PENANAExFZvTfR9z
487Please respect copyright.PENANACJBTegOyPm
地精們發現一件事,只要今天用錢買下一塊「方地鏟」,過沒多久這塊「方地鏟」的價格就會上升,到時候再賣掉就可以獲得一筆不小的利潤。487Please respect copyright.PENANANjl2F8ylAN
487Please respect copyright.PENANAtQl6UVJFMZ
那些地精們都很聰明,它們覺得沒有「方地鏟」的人鐵定是需要買「方地鏟」才有地方住的,所以它們只要有錢就會想盡辦法買「方地鏟」來投資,等待獲利。487Please respect copyright.PENANAXJtUozCqym
487Please respect copyright.PENANAcWk1rP82rz
甚至有更聰明的地精認為既然我賣了就有錢賺,那我為什麼不借錢來買呢?只要把土地賣了馬上就能還錢了,根本不用擔心會賠錢啊。487Please respect copyright.PENANA1Siwnc5KX5
487Please respect copyright.PENANA5QyDB6xjvd
於是乎越來越多地精投入了「方地鏟」的投資行列中,為了賺更多錢,他們還會用越來越高的價格來買「方地鏟」,這種行為又被稱作「超方地鏟」。487Please respect copyright.PENANASOb59MhGMg
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVzwww7GTgD
地精們做事都是不考慮後果的,很快地島上所有非政府管理的土地都被「方地鏟」了。而「方地鏟」的價格也跟著水漲船高,高到多數人都買不起的程度。487Please respect copyright.PENANA2MtLfrQjoy
487Please respect copyright.PENANApwI1pN7etd
這些地精們還不知足,連政府管理的土地都想透過非法手段來「方地鏟」呢!487Please respect copyright.PENANA6qJvZaSjQT
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2piW4Ff1GV
甚至為了避免「方地鏟」貶值,它們不惜賄賂多嘴的妖精們,到處散布「方地鏟」是很熱門的好投資,連哥布林跟精靈們都喜歡買個島上的「方地鏟」來保值。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhbf47cZ5UA
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQwDnjXyZO7
事實上,跟地精同族的歌布林也很喜歡投資方地鏟沒錯,哥布林商人跟地精商人一樣都很愛投資低風險的資產,而不會損耗,有認主不會被偷走的「方地鏟」就成了他們最愛的商品。487Please respect copyright.PENANA6L7wsEIuvV
487Please respect copyright.PENANAvXfXenyCPy
但地精們不知道的是,哥布林其實也是拿島上政府的借來的金幣在投資「方地鏟」的。比如說那個號稱島上最高的「異靈異大樓」就是由某位假裝自己是歸島地精的哥布林商人,跟島上政府借錢加上以投資股票的名義跟地精收來的金幣買下。487Please respect copyright.PENANAmdioF07LFw
487Please respect copyright.PENANAoKREMnT5Wu
如果你覺得到此為止還是正常的投資行為的話請往下看,你會發現地精們為了「超方地鏟」簡直無所不用其極。487Please respect copyright.PENANACc87bTKFqG
487Please respect copyright.PENANALx20Wj2kS8
比方說要政府在整個島上蓋滿魔法列車軌道,即使魔法列車軌道本身營運會虧損也要每隔幾公里就設一站。因為只要有車站加持「方地鏟」的價格就會暴漲。487Please respect copyright.PENANADxNFLtFl29
487Please respect copyright.PENANACpQW2AjJ2j
不准政府蓋孤兒院、養老院、精神病院,因為這些會害「方地鏟」的價格暴跌。487Please respect copyright.PENANANO2mxCOnGJ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAG88WFVB4Oj
不准政府蓋社會住宅,因為社會住宅可能引來罪犯跟窮人,會害「方地鏟」暴跌。487Please respect copyright.PENANAIoDDE64Es6
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjgniABSRii
拿錢給妖精們,要他們散播「現在進場投資方地鏟馬上就能大賺特賺」的謠言,試圖製造「方地鏟」還很多人想要買的假象。487Please respect copyright.PENANAPXUZJzNkBc
487Please respect copyright.PENANAX0yM2TriRS
要求政府開放哥布林拿劣質的偽造金幣來買「方地鏟」,然後無視哥布林賣掉土地後拿到的都是優質金幣這件事。487Please respect copyright.PENANAaDLPvvo9vR
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOvMwoUl3CT
總之,那些地精們為了自己手上那個可笑的魔法道具,簡直是把整座島弄得天怒人怨。487Please respect copyright.PENANA12LR8IvY1R
487Please respect copyright.PENANAnxXeE78G1W
而這個投資的未來展望也越來越糟了,「方地鏟」的價值是決定於需求,而現在的價格已經高到沒有人買得起的程度。487Please respect copyright.PENANA17mEflslUY
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmyzeQCdiKY
如果哪天「方地鏟」真的崩盤了,想必會有許多地精從「異靈異大樓」跳下也說不定。487Please respect copyright.PENANAi7jtFclh5o
487Please respect copyright.PENANA9EL9Cd8KOC
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAcDdanLnQb3
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHACFoAapue
從「喜歡立即看到收益」跟「喜歡買毫無意義的方地鏟囤積獲利」兩點來看,我們可以發現地精的矛盾性格。487Please respect copyright.PENANAyEyrrmnNFb
487Please respect copyright.PENANAO3QyVjKCSm
賺得越快的錢風險越大,但是方地鏟這種東西風險卻極小。兩者理論上是相衝突的,但是很多地精都希望能同時達到兩者。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFeUHdLSaa2
487Please respect copyright.PENANAaycOy6zCIN
我們侏儒用左腳的小腳趾想都知道這不可能,但地精們卻認為這樣才叫在賺錢。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFlQpDRRpue
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEe45tj9p8p
而且越有錢的地精越是深信如此,這實在是很讓人感到無言。487Please respect copyright.PENANAHPDPggWvel
487Please respect copyright.PENANAI5rYRDwerV
不只如此,地精的矛盾性格在很多方面都存在。487Please respect copyright.PENANATBJvu0GZQC
487Please respect copyright.PENANAcBrVIFjh5q
地精們覺得物美價廉的商品才是好商品,卻不知道商品的品質與它的價格本來就該呈正比。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEs6GPxNXLk
487Please respect copyright.PENANAIa3cSbVf9h
地精們認為政府不應該做太多管制,卻又在自己不守法而受難遭災時拜託政府給予國賠。487Please respect copyright.PENANA41dQ59EelV
487Please respect copyright.PENANATrrP7pqiCv
地精們不想花大錢看醫生,卻肯出高價購買魔法地下電台廣告的違法藥物。487Please respect copyright.PENANAqgUECADNjf
487Please respect copyright.PENANAd7oMdcjdIp
地精們要求所有人都能對自己誠實,卻又老愛欺騙他人。487Please respect copyright.PENANAfldJt2s1dG
487Please respect copyright.PENANATkZm9zWZFj
有一個現象可以很恰當地描述這種混亂的矛盾:487Please respect copyright.PENANAiNqYAbnUFm
487Please respect copyright.PENANAaBMxTbvw9t
地精們在假日的時候非常喜歡去島上的一些自然景觀遊山玩水。487Please respect copyright.PENANA23vmgz7Zfl
487Please respect copyright.PENANAE0dksylmdq
這是好事,不只地精,妖精跟精靈,哥布林跟侏儒也會在假日的時候出去親近自然環境。487Please respect copyright.PENANAcxHM48rszp
487Please respect copyright.PENANAypyjqGbU0R
但地精跟哥布林到了所謂的「自然景觀」,常常就會把手上的垃圾丟在當地,或者隨意破壞盜取各種自然造物。487Please respect copyright.PENANA8W1upmJRXt
487Please respect copyright.PENANAnfASrvOOo2
那邊那個,就是在說你,不要拿十字鎬敲女王石的脖子好嗎?487Please respect copyright.PENANAKUQbrFrkdt
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5884PYZ4j
還有那邊那兩位,拜託別在神木上刻甚麼「阿明&小美一生一世」的字,這棵樹是你家種的?487Please respect copyright.PENANAq4TqVhovoH
487Please respect copyright.PENANAiaC7G0Ckzd
會喜歡去那種地方,當然是對眼前的景色賞心悅目。但你一邊欣賞一邊把手上的垃圾丟地上造成汙染髒亂,甚至手賤到要把自己正在欣賞的東西給弄壞,這到底是有甚麼毛病?487Please respect copyright.PENANAVuHTZBMXQW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAqsDeDamqJh
沒有人會喜歡去一個滿是垃圾的地方,連地精都是如此。但也只有地精跟哥布林會一邊欣賞一邊破壞這些景觀,且完全不覺得自己這樣做有甚麼問題。487Please respect copyright.PENANA0pmiKHXvS1
487Please respect copyright.PENANABHdTn5M21c
真是讓人感到匪夷所思。487Please respect copyright.PENANA4q1ll7Z3eH
487Please respect copyright.PENANAW4dVCX43iP
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAk7yJLtvvvm
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmTm090nCqi
這種矛盾也體現在地精的國際觀上。487Please respect copyright.PENANAxVjemOhWNp
487Please respect copyright.PENANAlC8wuLDAUu
其實地精身為哥布林的附屬,又接受了各種外來文化的衝擊,對於自身有著很強烈的自卑感。487Please respect copyright.PENANAsuWDTMbeDd
487Please respect copyright.PENANA4GQqYoXXEg
這點侏儒就沒甚麼感覺了,對侏儒來說他們可是能與精靈相提並論的古老種族,或許沒有精靈那種強烈的種族優越感,但是看的東西多了,也沒很在意要跟誰比跟誰比。487Please respect copyright.PENANAy1PEw6Eo7T
487Please respect copyright.PENANAF96dCN8Osi
哥布林對精靈一族一直有很強烈的敵視感,這其實也是一種自卑心理的防衛表象。而地精不只對哥布林,對精靈也有很矛盾的崇拜心態。487Please respect copyright.PENANAHC4rdExECQ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAv4JmKsPxAi
在崇尚精靈帶來的高度魔法文明前,心裡卻也對自己被文化入侵這件事感到憤慨。487Please respect copyright.PENANAHIbqsDsauD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAwVwmw7CO0Q
崇拜哥布林近年崛起的優勢,卻又覺得歌布林文化與精靈相比既粗俗又不堪入目。487Please respect copyright.PENANAZaaPF9L6We
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOlqb1vxXfj
在大部分的地精眼裡只有哥布林跟精靈兩個種族,頂多再加上北方的蛇人族而已,他們大多無視位在東南大洋的南諸島海族,極北方的機械人文明,認為這世界就是由精靈跟哥布林在推動的。487Please respect copyright.PENANA4tI0e34jSj
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4r5ZVVQvJ
原因無他,太遠了,而且語言隔閡很嚴重。487Please respect copyright.PENANAk5aofrL6xb
487Please respect copyright.PENANAt3ni6JuksU
有些地精連精靈內部其實還有分成幾個大部落這件事也不清楚,對他們來說那些高大的長耳族全是精靈沒錯,至於是歐羅巴系統還是雅美麗加系統,他們也分不清楚。487Please respect copyright.PENANA1dZnu7vXbn
487Please respect copyright.PENANAMjhboBFcjc
更不用說相關的地理位置、歷史淵源、習俗文化等,對地精來說他們一向在意的只有錢而已,就是這樣還想談國際觀。487Please respect copyright.PENANAil1RGwaAvh
487Please respect copyright.PENANAvfeySpi6u6
那還真是讓人笑掉大牙就是。487Please respect copyright.PENANABwXRnd3DTZ
487Please respect copyright.PENANAWEg9vlgTG9
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAjLOFcahqOl
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJugYIX5PYE
說到這兒,就不得不提一個非常荒謬的現象,叫做「侯斯島之光」。487Please respect copyright.PENANAA87lXQV1Ht
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVWGmqNXmIC
侯斯島就是這座島的名字,這座島除了地精跟侏儒以外,還住了半身人跟妖精。不過這兩個種族我們之後再談,先來聊聊這個侯斯島之光是怎麼回事。487Please respect copyright.PENANACVRYb5Y3Yk
487Please respect copyright.PENANAsYMcb1rGMn
地精們剛到侯斯島的時候,這裡就是一個無名小島,全世界能知道這座島的人寥寥可數。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhnUL5DGUxE
487Please respect copyright.PENANAX7q1DtiH90
前面說過,地精是非常有自卑感的種族,它們亟需要有個證明來宣揚自己的存在。487Please respect copyright.PENANAahmZtql4Fa
487Please respect copyright.PENANAIaovnPIdW8
於是就在種族情結、政治正確、各種天時地利的考量下,「侯斯島之光」這個稱號就誕生了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAnVE4UWNdGS
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2XLXOwWmWH
這個稱號的存在就是為了表揚所有在國外取得成就的地精或侏儒,只要你在島上出生,不管是否在島上生活,在日後於國際間拿到莫大成就,就會被地精們冠上這個稱號。487Please respect copyright.PENANAw7YcrfnaQ0
487Please respect copyright.PENANALB7xeU3CUt
當然,這個成就必然是要跟錢有關的,如果你的成就看起來不值錢,地精們還不屑給你。487Please respect copyright.PENANAXYKojzVbmb
487Please respect copyright.PENANAUxjxJE4vo8
但如果地精們給你了,你不想要還不行。487Please respect copyright.PENANAbqPfqfgURl
487Please respect copyright.PENANASfJRir5I70
當然你要是以為地精們很喜歡侯斯島之光那你就錯了,地精們喜歡的是侯斯島之光帶給它們的優越感,他們並不是在喜歡侯斯島之光。487Please respect copyright.PENANAB5Z4cw3ggT
487Please respect copyright.PENANAiVerKwVVHh
好像只要把侯斯島之光掛在嘴邊,自己就能變得跟侯斯島之光一樣偉大了。487Please respect copyright.PENANA69MoF00dPW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAD5tZnInY4Q
但其實那只是一種錯覺,個人的偉大並無法轉換成族群的偉大,而族群的偉大更不可能轉換成個人的偉大。487Please respect copyright.PENANAVPcyW5Sf2Z
487Please respect copyright.PENANA00Sgs4Gz31
這個侏儒們都懂,地精們卻不懂,這又得再提到地精的差不多哲學了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEr41I30VnG
487Please respect copyright.PENANAGnbcRvDxXL
你是地精,我也是地精,我們都差不多,所以我就是你。既然你是侯斯島之光,那我也是侯斯島之光,你偉大當然我也偉大。487Please respect copyright.PENANAmHjVQDcrhd
487Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6SW4ME1od
好吧,老實說這跟哥布林最愛用的口號「大家都是哥布林」有異曲同工之妙就是。487Please respect copyright.PENANAqWzjBo5hhU
487Please respect copyright.PENANAtKTFSl0NVb
說真的,很多侯斯島之光也不喜歡地精。尤其是被錯當成地精的侏儒們,通常就是在島上不受其他地精待見才逃到島外發展。現在好不容易成功了,卻又被這些往日瞧不起他們的地精給拿來利用。487Please respect copyright.PENANAi8NBXmoAt4
487Please respect copyright.PENANAY3vZqauj44
你說,這怎麼能讓人高興得起來呢?487Please respect copyright.PENANAx8eeuEJMw0
487Please respect copyright.PENANANBGRUO5KZl
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAEy9C3ci79i
487Please respect copyright.PENANAGmYAAlRDuT
在退個幾步來說,如果「侯斯島之光」真的能讓這座島揚名國際,其實也是好事一樁。487Please respect copyright.PENANA0fLO6xVS7J
487Please respect copyright.PENANAWzW4VmFHWi
很遺憾地,完全沒有這麼一回事。487Please respect copyright.PENANADqxi3pM52I
487Please respect copyright.PENANAAwzZ8jhjv2
大多數外島人並沒有因為知道這些「侯斯島之光」的事蹟,而願意認真去了解這座島上的生態。487Please respect copyright.PENANAWKwT2VlbnI
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOUM35Ubz8E
這是理所當然的,就說了個人的偉大不代表族群的偉大了,在精靈們眼裡他們會尊敬一個地精或侏儒絕對不是因為他來自侯斯島。而是因為這個地精或侏儒做的事情值得他們尊敬,所以他們才願意關注對方。487Please respect copyright.PENANAoRxKJw7ro5
487Please respect copyright.PENANAUQJa1Up4aF
嘛…以一個侏儒冷淡的眼光來看,精靈這整個族群從上到下不管是哪個部落的,都是一副屌個二五八萬天上天下唯我獨尊的打不斷鼻子高傲感。487Please respect copyright.PENANAwnUBQ8f1oE
487Please respect copyright.PENANAKoyZL3uF83
有句俗語叫做:「想打斷精靈的鼻子比殺了他們還難」,意思就是想要傷害精靈的自尊心是很困難的。487Please respect copyright.PENANAUetLsU6iQs
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmDU5S3AHUW
這種自我感覺良好出現在少部分慣用右手的精靈身上是很明顯的,也因為這樣,沒自信的地精在精靈面前總是抬不起頭。487Please respect copyright.PENANAfNGhxT6sQD
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2dN88u4HZk
尤其在島上精靈是很稀有的存在,物以稀為貴的結果,精靈就變得很尊貴了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAeKBPmzE94N
487Please respect copyright.PENANAYy4Xh5PGTz
其實精靈的文化對亞細亞大陸的影響很強勢,以歌布林為中心擴張的各類亞種更是難以抵擋。這幾年也是有侏儒或者腦袋進化錯方向的地精提出「回歸本土」的主張,希望藉由提倡島上的歷史與文化,來消除精靈文化對島上的影響。487Please respect copyright.PENANAPOhBc1353b
487Please respect copyright.PENANAhbT8lTjfoR
說是這麼說,但那裏還擺著一個「哥布林文化」呢!要「回歸本土」,在某些地精耳中聽起來就像是要「去哥布林化」,這一聽可不能隨便答應了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAKSXAlN6g3U
487Please respect copyright.PENANAKdYnlMFKvD
地精的確很不在意他人感受,短視又近利。但它們自認有一個優點,就是不忘本。大多數地精都是從哥布林帝國移植過來的,對它們來說哥布林帝國才是它們的祖國,你現在要「回歸本土」「去哥布林化」,這不是要它們的老命嗎?487Please respect copyright.PENANAYI7qSDF669
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEeCMBDKrnh
所以這個主張很快就被打壓下來了,沒辦法,地精們只好繼續過著被精靈文化侵蝕的苦日子。想要回歸本土,從島上的歷史開始認真探索,估計沒個半世紀等不到了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAegRqqpThEx
487Please respect copyright.PENANACQpOe5f5GD
你總得等老地精們都死光了才推得動不是?487Please respect copyright.PENANAyVF19AUwql
487Please respect copyright.PENANA9aDBwg1GkQ
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAcWWDdYgMJ3
487Please respect copyright.PENANAx9tbUFeauP
說得等它們死光可不是玩笑話,地精們的階級觀念是非常死板且不容更動的。487Please respect copyright.PENANA3OUHxq0enG
487Please respect copyright.PENANAC0KrfQXTGI
越老的地精地位越崇高,不管你有理不有理,只要你夠老,大家就得讓你三分。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFfi1ddUGE9
487Please respect copyright.PENANAGcFuWWyxD3
這種觀念是普遍存在於地精之中,當然這幾年島上因為不知名因素,各種族的生育率都降很快,所以年輕一代的有這觀念的地精也就稍微少了一點。487Please respect copyright.PENANAHWz4S2rQSP
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOOXOYk4flp
但至少在中壯年這世代的地精,還是很吃這套的。487Please respect copyright.PENANAiGWmztKPID
487Please respect copyright.PENANAN2DZAUjDzV
長輩壓晚輩,學長壓學弟,前輩壓後輩,老師壓學生。很多聽起來有問題的爭執,只要把這個階級關係套上去,你就會發現對他們來說這非常合理。487Please respect copyright.PENANArvntFXgXFW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAn9AmKvfMtP
因為我老,所以這件事我對。老子吃過的岩蟲比你吃過的江稞還多,你哪來的膽子跟老子爭這個?487Please respect copyright.PENANAGwvadfYNYu
487Please respect copyright.PENANAsCSoPE51iW
侏儒們都很詬病這種上下關係,在它們眼裡當你年紀大了身體機能大不如前,連腦中的智慧都比不上年輕人的時候,你憑甚麼能得到他人的尊敬?487Please respect copyright.PENANAqr1MVMXasf
487Please respect copyright.PENANA8TBLthFPWa
就憑你活得比較久?那這樣下去誰還願意努力奮鬥?要知道年輕時越拼命的人通常越短命,這樣篩選下去,老了還能當榜樣的可是少之又少了。487Please respect copyright.PENANArctHtULBeO
487Please respect copyright.PENANAyEOwwBh1Nh
地精們可不這麼看,它們的上下觀念是承自於哥布林帝國的「努學」,這據說是一門非常深奧的學問,象徵著哥布林帝國五千年博大精深的思想結晶。487Please respect copyright.PENANAbqUks8iavc
487Please respect copyright.PENANApYtYvBUeBY
(實際上哥布林帝國建國至今也未滿百年,到底是哪來的五千年侏儒們也很納悶。)487Please respect copyright.PENANALlSMynK4M5
487Please respect copyright.PENANA4XvhiPPQGw
所以對地精來說,這可是真理,一個不尊敬老人的人,除了精靈以外基本上都會被地精瞧不起。487Please respect copyright.PENANA3owbRoEVnn
487Please respect copyright.PENANAbvfZ3MYS65
其實對某些看清楚形式的地精來說,這都是為了老後的保障。地精老後的身體機能其實衰敗的很快,如果沒有這樣的機制保護他們,恐怕老了後就會被年輕的地精給拋棄,從此曝屍荒野了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAIdBL2Ris2q
487Please respect copyright.PENANAaGnEYk9QX1
別懷疑,地精是很勢利的種族,像這種死後還要浪費幾百枚金幣,而且一半以上還要被那些教會的混蛋給賺走,有些地精還真的雙手一攤就不想管了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAcjCeWq7N5U
487Please respect copyright.PENANALnQMbAfF0g
但好在地精們一直堅持著「努學」,還有另一門學問「嘯道」,才能讓這些年輕的地精傻傻地相信自己就該尊敬沒有能力的長輩們。487Please respect copyright.PENANAFCej6DrtjE
487Please respect copyright.PENANAfHVeP8FPxR
當然等年輕地精長大以後,他們自然會明白自己已經成為既得利益者的候選人,當然更不可能會放棄這兩門學問了。487Please respect copyright.PENANAwbrVA3mgqH
487Please respect copyright.PENANAq5rvoT2jtG
這就是地精們維護自己的社會結構穩定,減少動亂的好方法。487Please respect copyright.PENANAvooF8fgw4T
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2TO9FVWNS3
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAEPoMAaYbwL
487Please respect copyright.PENANAryoSQ6SnHa
從地精們重老輕少的價值觀,大致可以猜到地精的教育是怎麼一回事。487Please respect copyright.PENANAEhNfWaslmP
487Please respect copyright.PENANAogt2w6T1Xq
簡單來說,地精並沒有把自己的子女當成一個獨立的個體來看。在地精眼哩,年紀越小的人越是廢物,這跟年輕地精的實力無關,只跟它們的年齡有關。487Please respect copyright.PENANA79u3t2Hq0A
487Please respect copyright.PENANA4AINAObUsT
所以年幼的地精是沒有任何發言權可言的,有一句地精俗語很直觀地描述了這樣的情況:487Please respect copyright.PENANAvrhyiUADms
487Please respect copyright.PENANAtYFEUNKHoS
「小地精有耳無嘴。」487Please respect copyright.PENANAkotUsi8lRm
487Please respect copyright.PENANATHcwdCk3pC
當然這意思不是指年幼的地精真的沒有嘴巴,只是在比喻年紀小的人要多聽少說話,不要隨便頂撞父母。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhSXXlAKWkD
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmnlXSUnhvL
諷刺的是,年齡差距更大的精靈教育方式卻完全相反,他們把所有的年幼精靈都當成獨立的個體教育,希望他們能夠盡快脫離父母的照顧。487Please respect copyright.PENANAeZnvXs3RPg
487Please respect copyright.PENANADhE81efeQp
即使在與子女溝通時也會用對等的地位與對方交流,而非只靠權威與蠻力來壓制對方。487Please respect copyright.PENANAGcn8RT7rKi
487Please respect copyright.PENANA40Vh3ea6ik
(至於因為精靈比較年長所以得到地精過多尊敬這種事就完全是題外話了)487Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ab1oPd4SK
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEwtte5e5EM
地精教育小孩的方式,最簡單也最多地精會的,就是打。487Please respect copyright.PENANA6EdpSMJK5V
487Please respect copyright.PENANAd3Uf60EwgM
沒錯,就連地精中小學的老師們都很喜歡這一套,對它們來說小孩是無法溝通的,這些小孩太笨了,除了用野獸的教育方式,沒有任何方法可以教導。487Please respect copyright.PENANAbX4cVgFgAH
487Please respect copyright.PENANAkE14CpV2Za
過去就有許多地精父母不小心打死小孩的案件,因為太聰明而生育率不高的侏儒們看到這些地精小孩被自己的白痴父母給打死時,很多都感到心痛不捨。487Please respect copyright.PENANABWvER6XIFW
487Please respect copyright.PENANAnAkP7xVvkq
身為地精的小孩是非常不幸的,基本上毫無自由可言。地精父母會以小孩太弱小了不該出門當藉口,嚴格限制年幼地精的外出。487Please respect copyright.PENANAnPGXVHIiRP
487Please respect copyright.PENANAiIAF2ZW6Wj
甚至因為覺得自己空出時間心力來照顧子女是非常虧欠自己的事情,而認為小孩都是欠自己的,自己要小孩做甚麼小孩就該做甚麼。487Please respect copyright.PENANALsw57L2QdN
487Please respect copyright.PENANAALkc41LDOY
在經濟方面,地精父母很少會教導自家小孩怎麼花錢,通常不是定時給幾枚金幣當零用錢就是完全不給。487Please respect copyright.PENANAGVMRIMuOv9
487Please respect copyright.PENANA0uDnkSw54x
這幾年經濟大發展,有錢的地精父母甚至會每個月給自己小孩幾百枚甚至幾千枚金幣當零用錢,一枚金幣足以讓一個普通的地精審吃儉用過上十天,一個月給幾百枚,只會養成小孩奢侈的消費習慣。487Please respect copyright.PENANASTAM9uDk1H
487Please respect copyright.PENANApRrZygWKn9
又,因為疏於與孩子溝通。是的,地精眼中最重要的還是錢,小孩只是一個附屬品,證明自己人生過得很幸福的獎狀。487Please respect copyright.PENANAo7f4C1QYAS
487Please respect copyright.PENANAR8MiFQ0Stb
實際上多數地精並不懂得如何疼愛自己的小孩,它們從未把自家小孩當作跟自己同樣地個體來交流。487Please respect copyright.PENANAnpnKBGt85L
487Please respect copyright.PENANAaEKlPAXUNW
在這種情況下,教導出來的年幼地精進入青春期大多會變得叛逆不然就變得麻木不仁。前者是將反抗父母當作證明自己是獨立自主個體的行為,後者則是已經完全被剝奪了情感表達。487Please respect copyright.PENANAZr1ezIuRp9
487Please respect copyright.PENANABlT8eA9NN2
不過有趣的是,等到這些小地精長大後.他們又大多無法脫離自家父母的影子。487Please respect copyright.PENANAhRkV5JB9HC
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOyr8vMJoF5
只能說基因遺傳是強大的,即使他們再討厭自己的父母,長大後依然無法避免自己變得跟父母一樣,把自己的小孩當作東西來養。487Please respect copyright.PENANAy1oWw3Wyjh
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVqfFaZ9mP6
真是有夠悲慘的無限循環啊。487Please respect copyright.PENANAi4kDqIwGlg
487Please respect copyright.PENANArGVcVqnmAn
※487Please respect copyright.PENANAJNVVzs6Xfj
487Please respect copyright.PENANAK8Tndo1ix3
其實在過去醫療不發達,島上各地貧困到難以生存的年代,地精的價值觀真的解決了很多世代衝突帶來的不穩定。487Please respect copyright.PENANAaEPMyy5CrG
487Please respect copyright.PENANASxrewZ8xpk
日子越難過,其實最有活力的年輕族群影響力是越強的。如果不推廣「努學」、「嘯道」,老地精的非自然死亡率非常高。487Please respect copyright.PENANAd6SedgqXPR
487Please respect copyright.PENANA7IjP1IVo1m
尤其是戰後地精入島,很多老地精顛沛流離餐風露宿孤苦無依,沒有年輕地精的照顧大概只能客死異鄉。487Please respect copyright.PENANAPoW3pBMaJc
487Please respect copyright.PENANAyytK2kDqk8
不過這樣的景況沒有持續多久,在戰後島上的政府接受精靈部落的資助漸漸發展起來,地精們的生活條件也越來越好。487Please respect copyright.PENANAYtJr3uAQem
487Please respect copyright.PENANAxE8yaPqkrE
戰後嬰兒潮帶來的人口紅利以及開發中帶來的經濟成長,讓這個戰後世代的地精們得到相當強大的經濟實力。487Please respect copyright.PENANAcUJajOyHWk
487Please respect copyright.PENANA2rPxhyo4b5
這樣的實力是無法忽視的,再加上「努學」跟「嘯道」的加成,這個世代的地精非常強勢。487Please respect copyright.PENANAfw9nQwhMax
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjTYs0NLYAG
他們認為島上的繁榮是自己靠實力帶來的,沒有自己的努力,這座島上的地精現在還在吃草呢!有這樣的認知,這些地精都非常高傲,而且固執。487Please respect copyright.PENANA2KK6j9kG5K
487Please respect copyright.PENANAhQNkbnwT9V
有的地精甚至認為自己已經能與精靈相提並論,沒辦法呢,接觸的精靈多了就會覺得地精跟精靈也差不到哪,那它們當然會覺得自己也能當精靈囉。487Please respect copyright.PENANAZCirVahFkT
487Please respect copyright.PENANAFneHUmvJyD
近幾年人口紅利衰退,島上的經濟奇蹟不在。但這些戰後世代的地精依然把持住島上諸多資源,享受著優渥的生活。487Please respect copyright.PENANAWX7j4weH4G
487Please respect copyright.PENANARjPH9fSmxQ
它們對往日榮光不在感到心痛,左批這世代的年經地精沒出息,右批這世代的年精地精太會花錢。487Please respect copyright.PENANAfKDUpthnll
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHfy3QItj7h
總之,它們認為現在的衰退是年輕地精不爭氣帶來的。而身為老前輩的它們,該拖著年老弱智的身體帶領地精繼續走下去,才不會辜負了他們帶給地精一族的榮耀。487Please respect copyright.PENANAkuAuhJHMrn
487Please respect copyright.PENANABBbIJJ5LoE
而那些年輕的地精,自小就被這些強勢的戰後世代地精當成物品看待與教育,其實是很難生起反抗心的。不得不說這就是教育的獲勝,地精的教育真的不能等。487Please respect copyright.PENANALw5bbkFnTz
487Please respect copyright.PENANAgrkBV3KF4r
只有極少數的侏儒不吃這一套,他們早就明白整個經濟的衰退是怎麼一回事。當人口紅利不在,國家發展物價上升,自然競爭力就不在,這有甚麼好推給年輕人的?487Please respect copyright.PENANA398SmEm0cL
487Please respect copyright.PENANAbvp85LGjmF
更何況很多戰後世代地精都明白這點,不然何必要把自己的地精工廠轉移到東南亞細亞跟南方諸島?甚至那些人還拼命要求政府開放大量外籍的勞動力,希望減輕自家的負擔呢。487Please respect copyright.PENANAloJj8ziDv0
487Please respect copyright.PENANAk6zMuVENRM
即使是如此,這些老地精們依然會在年輕人面前這麼說:487Please respect copyright.PENANArGUdZbzhpX
487Please respect copyright.PENANAdhBjzmJ6b7
「你們都是草莓地精!既軟又嫩!講沒幾句就臉紅不然就要爆炸!哪像我們以前巴拉不拉布阿巴啦…」487Please respect copyright.PENANAWe6xULukcw
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHZOiRAOEAz
說完後滿足了自己的虛榮感,這些戰後世代的老地精們轉身就去過著比年輕地精更舒適、更糜爛、更沒有出息且完全沒有自覺的生活了。487Please respect copyright.PENANApTo5ew1rP4
487Please respect copyright.PENANAY7Td0ziFLI
沒辦法,誰叫它們運氣好,出生在這個輝煌的年代呢?這樣的生活才是他們應得的啊!487Please respect copyright.PENANAIXtCbuCuw4
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短篇故事集
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ISSUE #5
我們做的東西才不會爆炸!
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