【孕育二部曲】之《孕記》與《育記》 - 《育記》第五章紅腫與損傷

姑娘把兒子從兒科病房帶回來給我後，我便發現他的屁股有紅腫與損傷，而且在兒子的嬰兒透明箱的下層，擺放了一支藥膏。

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我看見兒子的屁股變成這樣，心痛得無法言喻，同時亦感到一陣一陣的憤怒襲上心頭，心痛的是我大概已估計到兒科病房的醫護人員並沒有按時替兒子更換尿片，以致排泄物長時間沾著屁股，造成紅腫與損傷，而我憤怒的原因是竟然沒有一位醫護人員向我交代兒子屁股變成這樣的原因，也沒有人告訴我何時要替兒子塗藥膏，藥膏每天要塗多少次，就好像兒子完全沒有發生任何事似的!

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縱使我有多愛自己的兒子，但他身體所受的傷痛，是我沒法替他去承受的，這使我的內心感到劇痛！

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我知道向姑娘提出質詢也是於事無補，而且我和兒子也不知要待在醫院多久，於是只好平心靜氣地向姑娘詢問藥膏的用法，此事便如此了結。

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「你知道我見到的時候有多心痛嗎？」我在丈夫來探望的時候就兒子的情況對他發發牢騷，以抒發心中壓抑著的感受。

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「我知道，我也覺得心痛，但醫療系統長期人手不足，這個情況也是一直存在的，也是沒有辦法呢！」丈夫一邊放下拿來給我的餅乾，一邊安撫我說。

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「我明白現實的情況，但我真的很心痛！兒子還未去兒科病房前，原本是好端端的，現在卻變成這樣！肯定是很痛的呢！」我望著正在睡覺的兒子，說著說著，我的眼眶不禁變得通好了。

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丈夫趕緊把我抱入懷中，拍拍我的背脊，然後安慰道:「你不是說塗了藥膏已經有好轉了嗎？他已經回來你身邊了，有你這位媽媽悉心照顧，很快便會好起來了！沒事的，不要哭了。」

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我把頭埋藏在丈夫的胸膛裡，稍稍釋懷，彷彿得到了一點安慰，一點力量。是的，當了母親之後，總是時刻感到有點徬徨，有點乏力，但卻不斷告訴自己「我可以撐下去的！」只有這樣，才能夠在身體還未復原的情況下，靠著強大的意志盡最大的努力照顧兒子。因此，身邊人的明瞭與安慰，便成為我精神上的動力，讓我有勇氣繼續堅持這段剛開始不久，但過程將會非常漫長的育兒之路。

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(待續)

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