每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqpXNrB5cV
輕嘆一聲。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCKW8rNjnR
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6fLzpEOOJ
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0suszFrgD
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4sA2Yrc0j
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWiB8OLJ7i
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7aHjFCll8
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzAoRRrJ3j
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76mDNNJZAA
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYUCDAKY0R
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrneUCJ4Fc
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8ppsiLqpL
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFcI0gpytF
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEXkCZqbXX
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUymnhpcEB1
他百思不得其解。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71JZgbsN2S
再聲輕嘆。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe9SPzlysu
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheMBdqQ3FT
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiQSKjkDor
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj8SOuSn2p
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWiOwDJWOz
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xrxUPtFb7
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHoBV2PHKj
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6lkit79ez
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUVRdP3pOq
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCwqsCx5L3
緣起緣滅，不由自主。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRwHVQgx7A
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjp5mYmBHlz
既要緣滅，何必緣起？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YylAcmAK7
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wzaz4w1po
他百思不得其解。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtL9W63c0O
輕嘆有三。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWDsvC5ms4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTUAQcQckb
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeDGbXJOmG
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NXoh2SZUM
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVTfKHW8Ib
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4Hddx5myx
鬱悶。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAUDJ7ume0
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGiLO1lcq2
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXZw2ZpSfO
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S0OH9pyUf
去抱！去奪！432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOzzl5TAZS
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEyVShCRd8
抱甚麼？腿已不在。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq7UjgmwQx
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkkVEPU5lc
奪甚麼？球已不在。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwb9ROaOoU
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1ENkPxIre
為何不在？為何統統不在？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsTwOlKMNG
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY8dI4jEcz
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF8tw2sb9x
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyfbHin1Rr
停下來！432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMCFTU8zCJ
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwbToQP2ZX
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXacuNRznY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw5XNzUgKs
慢下來！432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDRXDh3XRn
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwULUQgLrSa
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjUGIV7N3Q
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0St1Gx16D
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOex1TNhsOF
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkyN0oQYvU
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYuZmo0HMv
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB3H1QMytJ
昔日的他，今日的孫。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFrdYJN0P9
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcfOmGFb2l
永劫，輪迴。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnPx3838b0
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCqV7dG4Sx
不敢思，不求解。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSmuZjL7uS
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1arqiw8oh
嘆，嘆，嘆。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabtfI6ands
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vOcprdPtG
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq1PelsmNM
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9OnHDcLvp
他搖頭。432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnevNF1EUL
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp3Wxq4yMH
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn85nDjYjII
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWcg6ewFBe
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