我青梅竹馬同咗個死MK仔一齊//《不懂愛的青梅竹馬們》 - 【第八章改變，嗎？】

發阿敏脾氣之後過咗一個星期，我哋毫無交雜。

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傻仔腎同我講，我哋中學請畢業生教中文，叫我試下。於是，我搵咗中學嘅中文老師，因為我係舊生加上DSE中文考得唔差，所以學校好快就請咗我。

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每個星期嘅一、三、五我都會係四點開始教中文，而我每次都要事前準備定教材。

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原來準備教材都唔簡單，又考慮日校老師係教嘅考試技巧，又要準備例子同練習令學生明白。

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教教下又發現今個人嘅學習進度都唔同，每堂都要為個別有心學嘅同學講解多啲。

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有啲學生都識嘅，始終我只係畢業咗一年，有啲學弟妹都識嘅，所以大家上補課班嘅都好比面，乖乖哋咁聽我講書。

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今日我教中六寫作，可能因為佢哋就快考DSE，所以佢哋都好認真咁聽我講書。

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「用首尾呼應就係咁簡單，你哋可以試下2014年嘅記事文，代入我同你哋講嘅框架到。慢慢寫，唔計時嘅，最緊要明白個概念。」我係黑板前講。

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我教緊中六寫作，佢哋聽完就似懂非懂咁開始揮動原子筆寫作。

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為免騷擾佢哋寫嘢，我就坐埋一邊改下中四、五嘅文。

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「師ching，我唔明呀，過嚟教我！」有把女聲向我求救。

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Ching咪代表師兄，加多個師係咩料？

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我望向聲音嘅來源，係一個mk妹。

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我記得佢叫做蝦滑，唔知點解佢要用食物做佢知名。或者mk妹都好鐘意用打邊爐嘅食物做花名。

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蝦滑真係mk妹，爛爛地口又直腸直肚，身材高挑又有啲波路，啡色長髮但唔知佢有冇連續食兩枝煙？佢一身古銅嘅膚色為佢添加一份惡棍嘅感覺，有啲生人勿近嘅感覺。

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我行去蝦滑嗰邊，問：「咩事？」

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佢問咗我一啲插敍嘅用法，我教咗佢之後佢又繼續寫文。

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過咗一個鐘多啲，啲學生陸陸續續交文俾我然後放學，唯獨蝦滑仲係到奮勇戰鬥。

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雖然我想快啲返hall休息，但佢未走我又唔可以走，唯有冀望可以日落前收工。

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「靚妹你仲要搞幾耐？洗唔洗幫手？」我問。

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「我叫蝦滑呀！同埋我只係細你一年，唔好叫我靚妹呀！」蝦滑大聲反駁。

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「咁你依家係卡咗係邊？」我無視佢嘅反抗，我想快啲知道佢唔明啲乜嘢去幫佢解決等我可以走人。

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「我唔知！」蝦滑理直氣壯咁講。

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唔知佢係無恥定係勇氣可加，佢竟然可以咁直接講心底話，都算係一個奇才。

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我拎起佢篇文，圈咗幾個錯字、句子唔通順嘅地方，再講：「文章結構幾好嘅，我頭先講嘅嘢你都做到。錯字同文法要慢慢學，但我睇唔到你有咩大問題。」

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其實仲有好多問題，但拎個4應該都可以，所以我都唔講曬所有問題佢知道。

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我諗呢啲mk妹都唔會諗住自己可以考到個好成績。

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「但係我硬係覺得有啲嘢唔係咁舒暢！」

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雖然佢唔可以明確指出篇文有咩問題，但係佢能夠大概感覺到有啲問題。

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「邊個位令你特別唔舒暢？」我引導佢去搵問題所在。

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「我覺得我寫感情變化唔係咁好，啲感情好似變得太快。」

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「呢個係問題之一。你可以係每段最後加少少鋪排，睇下主角嘅感情點樣變。咁去到尾二個段係主角嘅領悟或者係題目想要你表達嘅中心思想。咁樣個轉折就唔會太突兀，係文章嘅脈絡上又有啲鋪陳咁。」我解釋。

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「係喎！成篇文七段左右，每段最後講少少就可以顯示到思想嘅轉變。」蝦滑好似發現新大陸咁。

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「咁你走未？」

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「俾多五分鐘，寫埋我就走。」

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好快蝦滑就寫完交咗篇文俾我，收到文嘅我就啦啦聲走人。

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跟住嗰兩個禮拜，蝦滑每堂都留到最後，問好鬼多問題，不過全部都關DSE事。

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第三個禮拜呢堂，又係其他人走曬淨返我同蝦滑係班房。

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忽然有個男同學入咗班房之後敲門。

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「同學，咩事？」個男同學留陰，死mk一個，我淨係睇到佢冇俾頭髮遮住嘅一隻眼。

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多口講句，佢唔係我一年後遇到嘅比比鳥頭mk仔。

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「唔關你事。」個死mk仔好無禮貌咁講。

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Mk仔行到去蝦滑前面：「蝦滑，做咩唔應我whatsapp？」

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「因為我講咗分手？」蝦滑有啲困惑咁答。

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原來係感情問題。

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個mk又叻仔，夠膽係第三者面前講呢啲嘢。

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蝦滑好直接咁講，佢嘅直腸直肚令我覺得佢好串。

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「好地地做乜要分手！」mk仔怒吼一聲。

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我呢個花生友粒聲都唔出咁睇戲，反正呢個時刻我都唔可以走出去課室外。

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「因為我唔鐘意你。」mk妹有mk妹嘅風格，講嘢直接又串過馬撚。

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「我唔信，你係咪有第二個？」mk仔質問。

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「你無撚嘢呀？咪話撚咗我對你冇feel，咪撚屈鳩我有第二個呀！」蝦滑都爆seed。

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「呯！」蝦滑一嘢反檯，嚇到個mk仔退後幾步。唔止個mk仔，我都嚇咗一嚇，估唔到依家啲後生咁兇狠。

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「無⋯⋯無第二條仔你會咁惡！」mk仔口窒窒咁講完。

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「我話撚咗無！」蝦滑講完就一腳踢落個mk仔到。

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Mk仔立刻向後跌落地。

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「我係唔撚鐘意你，冇feel呀！好地地分手唔撚得嘅，你屈鳩我出軌會好過啲咩！」蝦滑講完再踢鳩mk仔一腳。

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「嘩⋯⋯」坐係老師檯嘅我都忍唔住驚嘆出聲，當代mk妹咁撚瘋癲。

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反正我唔係管紀律，佢哋打成點我都唔會理。

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不過見到一個男人俾個mk妹打到無還手之力，我諗大家都會好驚訝。

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呢條女癲架，我以後都係唔好得罪佢。

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個mk仔起返身：「你係咪真係唔鐘意我？」

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「係，百份之一百。一齊嘅時候就已經唔係太鐘意你。」蝦滑火上加油，都唔知話佢直率定講嘢唔經大腦好。

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Mk仔開始有啲淚水流出嚟，佢跪咗落地再講：「真係唔可以同返我一齊？」

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個mk仔毫無尊嚴咁求個蝦滑，睇嚟佢真係好想復合。

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拍拖姐，洗唔洗搞到自己咁低賤？

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「唔撚一齊呀。唔鐘意就唔鐘意，分手就分手，灑脫啲得唔得呀？」蝦滑好狠咁講。

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「wu⋯⋯」個mk仔跪咗係地下喊。

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「咪撚演你啲內心戲。你喊撚飽佢，我唔會show你。警告你咪撚再煩我！」蝦滑揪起mk仔衫領講。

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「我唔得⋯⋯」mk仔喊曬口，柒到傻。

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蝦滑一把煎落去mk仔塊臉：「講得呀！」

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「得⋯⋯得⋯⋯」個mk仔好唔情願咁講，另外佢左邊面仲有個紅色嘅掌印。

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「師ching，一齊走？」蝦滑問。

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條女咁瘋癲，我廢事得罪佢：「無所謂。」

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我講完就同蝦滑一齊行去地鐵站。

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「你有冇女朋友？」蝦滑問。

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「有。」mk妹真係好八掛。

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「你鐘意佢？」

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「關你咩事？」

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「問下都唔得？」呢條女有啲惡，我俾佢嚇到個心離一離。

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「得。鐘意。」大話。

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「你哋拍咗幾耐拖？」

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「兩、三年左右。」

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「咁都幾好。」

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問撚完未。

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「做乜咁八掛？」

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「都係問下姐。」

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「你都幾有勇氣。」我讚佢。

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「你指咩事先？打鳩佢？」

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「打佢其一啦。你可以咁直接係條友面前話唔鐘意佢，成件事都瘋了。」

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我就唔能夠對小璇坦白，我同唔到佢講我對佢已經無feel。

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「對一個人老實係最基本嘅尊重，就算我唔可以同佢做情侶，我都唔可以呃佢。就算我呃佢話鐘意佢，一段有欺瞞嘅關係唔會健康。同埋，做人於忠於自己，唔鐘意就係唔鐘意，無必要呃自己。我最撚憎啲人虛偽，做個真小人好過做偽君子。」蝦滑講自己嘅世界觀。

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聽完蝦滑嘅說話，我就好似俾佢打咗一巴咁。

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一段有欺瞞嘅關係唔會健康。

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我無同過小璇講阿敏嘅存在，亦都無同小璇講過我對阿敏嘅心意。

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同我一齊嘅小璇就係我嘅後備，我同唔到阿敏一齊嘅後備。

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我對小璇嘅尊重其實無，因為我係一個騙子。

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「都啱嘅。你係暴力咗啲。」我講。

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「我唔想扭扭擰擰，做人直接啲好。我相信唔坦誠面對自己內心嘅話，傷害到嘅唔止會係自己。如果你係重視對方嘅就更加唔應該呃佢，唔誠實嘅關係就只有傷害。」蝦滑咁講又好似佢有為個mk仔著想。

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「都啱嘅。」我和應。

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「同埋，同一個已經無feel嘅人一齊真係好辛苦自己。辛苦自己又辛苦人，何必？」蝦滑講。

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同蝦滑分別之後我又諗起佢，唔係因為異性，而係佢處理感情嘅手法。

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佢打鳩mk仔嘅畫面同說話變咗對我嘅震撼教育。

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經歷完呢啲咁癡線同精彩嘅畫面，我忍唔住去思考、去回帶頭先發生嘅一切。

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如果唔係有呢啲武打場面我諗我都唔會去咀嚼蝦滑講嘅嘢。

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蝦滑份人好直，有嗰句講嗰句，好聽啲叫真性情，唔好聽叫唔理人感受。

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但係最少佢唔會呃人，唔會呃自己嘅感受。

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因為尊重。

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同唔愛嘅人一齊，辛苦自己又辛苦人。

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我一直都做緊呢樣吃力不討好嘅事，為嘅只係一時嘅快感，疑似愛情嘅快感。結果，每日同小璇一齊嘅日子我都係傷害緊佢。

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其實我只係愛自己，咁樣嘅我能唔能夠坦誠去面對呢段關係？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0fh7c2LpH

我做唔到蝦滑咁直率，好似傻仔腎咁講，我係一個仆街。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixi8gfs5x8

我一直都傷害緊兩個女人。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmiQhRxDXZ

小璇，我唔能夠全心愛佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNIEpcdb1b

阿敏，我一直都直接、間接咁利用佢嘅愛意。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHazHZedEv

我、小璇、阿敏，我同呢兩個女仔嘅關係好唔健康。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2YsJe6trt

我對小璇唔老實。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P3OOVwSLf

我對阿敏能夠坦誠相對，但又拖拖拉拉。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kleYySlVZ

其實我要對小璇坦白，我嘅變心、我同阿敏嘅事，就算呢啲會傷害到佢我都要講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6zPxVa72p

因為尊重同唔好再擴大傷口。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDqWGnkVK6

我知道我一直唔講嘅原因唔係為佢著想而係我為自己著想。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1kFUNHlEN

我為咗保護自己而累積咗好多謊言，我知道要誠實，但一諗到誠實嘅傷害我就一步都唔肯行。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbj1OiQvbp

老實講，收埋咁多謊言我都好累，或者我係時候唔再保護自己。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h64dcwQI4

或者差唔多係時候要改變一下我同小璇呢段充滿欺瞞嘅關係。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeLKGtqwwy

返到hall，我同傻仔腎講蝦滑單嘢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kyciE9nY9

「下次拍片俾我睇呀嘛！」傻仔腎講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ05VByaPU

「我嚇到唔記得呀！」我老實講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiB9zRIlqx

「不過講真，個mk妹又幾直接同坦白，好過你個仆街仔扭扭擰擰。好心你學下人。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vymmU5v5z

「我係咪要同小璇坦白？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtjiP0SXrS

「你唔想再做仆街咪一五一十講曬出嚟，就算大家都受傷，你最少坦白咗。」傻仔腎講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5URN20l4Z

「點樣搞返點？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWXMhYsrRZ

「你同佢講你鐘意咗另一條女囉，之後就順利分手。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74mBzMS1Hi

「咁癲？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCStFw6XzLU

「你諗清楚先落決定啦。」唔記得講，傻仔腎都知道阿敏就快要去exchange，我身邊可以有阿敏嘅時間越嚟越少，而我係呢個時候同佢嘈大交。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ISWCArIkS

「好想講撚曬俾小璇知然後等佢做決定。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq9amOwaLc

「仲係咁不負責任。唔通佢話可以繼續一齊你就同佢繼續一齊？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37hsxpWYFa

「或者要有一個二選一嘅情況，我先可以做一個真正嘅決擇。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBelHzwtT5X

「其實一直都要二選一。你不如認真分手啦。」傻仔腎唔傻。

「都要分手架啦。」我知道同小璇已經無愛。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf8Jq3cHPB

「唉，我幫你準備定大概要同小璇講啲乜，有啲乜又唔可以講。等你準備好嘅時候就同佢坦白啦。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrsRrDsOUM

傻仔腎之後真係幫我準備咗講稿，佢真係好兄弟嚟。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBItZZsckWz

又過咗個禮拜，中學老師叫我俾啲關於Jupas意見嘅中六班嘅同學。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSLv4eZAqy

每個人嘅預計成績我都睇咗一睇，所以我每個人都俾咗意見，例如揀咩科比較好。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMrlP05RbO

去到蝦滑，呢個有啲棘手。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oz1dsQGIY

佢想讀醫科。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomBa25Abqk

但係佢嘅成績好一般，連入大學都有啲勉強。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfkSRGquxp

因為呢條女係癡線嘅，我怕太直接同佢講嘅話會俾佢打到仆街。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPv16PJtav

不過，收咗錢就要做嘢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY9uNxoXXc

「聽講你想做Kong U喎。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbi9r0bvQs

「唔好兜圈，入正題。」蝦滑要我直入正題。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya1JnERXPL

我俾佢嚇窒咗一秒，我講：「你依家呢個成績有啲難入港喎，有冇諗過改一改A1到A3嘅科呀？揀下非三大你都有機會入到喎。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKmMMRxVko

「唔改。入唔到港大就算。」蝦滑好決絕。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv6kZcUJqE

「你改下佢都有可能入到大學喎。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68qMfJLFOR

蝦滑A1到A3都係港大，但以佢嘅成績真係無乜機會考到入去。HKU Space就可能得。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJaj2I2A9U

「對港大以外嘅大學未有興趣。」蝦滑都好決絕。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaeJpDK3pk

雖然佢依家唔改，DSE出咗成績之後佢都可以再改Jupas嘅排序，可能佢到時會有新嘅諗法，但係依家我又好奇點解佢要咁執住考入港大。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVwxCNqg9Y

「點解你咁想入港大？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm4h2QrfYO

「你都覺得我做唔到？」蝦滑反問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mOka0rcLI

「有啲困難。老實講，入u都有啲掹車邊。」我老實講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPFM1b7BZ4

「唔緊要。入港大係我嘅夢想，我咁樣排Jupas係希望可以迫到自己發力，唔想有後路俾自己。」蝦滑講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaHRWwyovk

「但改下嘅話，起碼會有機會俾到大學。入唔到大學嘅話，可能要浪費時間考過，又或者要入asso架啦。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLhPvNzMIP

「咁個後果都係我自己承擔。其實我知道個後果同埋我願意去承擔個後果，咁樣唔係已經足夠啦咩？咁樣已經係對自己有所交代，落決定同負責任嘅都係我，我唔會後悔，所以你唔洗再勸我。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lVkZlF8tz

面對蝦滑呢個我唔太理解嘅堅持，我束手無策。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrpbZX6ypT

諗深一層，呢個mk妹比我成熟。佢識得為為自己嘅決定負責，而且煞是堅定。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8ektQdTLq

我呢個學長反而成日三心兩意，做完決定又唔想負責任，我好似又俾呢條女打咗一巴。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQjqoc5oJV

「你真係唔介意等多一年？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax0CZ6ouRw

「我知道無人睇好我會入到港大，老老豆豆，我自己都覺得好難。但係就算俾人謾罵同恥笑我都會堅持，因為呢個係我嘅夢想。為夢想嘅犧牲，我願意自行承擔個後果，就算要重讀，就算要入asso，我都想入港大。」蝦滑滔滔不絕。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgNUl9SZUN

「就算你之後會因為呢個抉擇而痛苦？」混入咗其他嘢，唔再單純係為咗蝦滑而問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrkgIkdqNL

一個學長向學妹學嘢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczzsZwBwVP

佢感情上嘅誠實，為決定承擔嘅勇氣，兩樣我都無。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMkPML3DfY

「就算會痛苦，我都會堅持。就好似你嚟教書你都要負責任準備教材，教得唔好會俾人炒。我考得唔好嘅話，就只會係我自己用多啲時間去實現我嘅夢想。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoumov1ZR0v

佢又幾有道理。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiYzvsbt4P

「你都幾成熟，明明成個mk妹咁。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5xVzu1OrM

「外表同內在唔同嘅，我當你係讚我嘅，多謝。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDJRLSXDw8

見識到蝦滑嘅堅定同承擔，好似睇到自己嘅缺點。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMZKkdYxEv

「你都幾犀利。」我敬佩咁講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQnNoXg3YC

「你講邊方面先？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAsaSAZGzz

「可以誠實面對內心，鐘意就鐘意，唔鐘意就唔鐘意，唔會拖拖拉拉。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY6GDbtGxC

「如果你係講上次我同個ex分手嘅話，我就都係嗰句，老實面對自己內心可以拎自己唔洗辜負人咁多。如果你講揀科嘅，唔鐘意嘅話仲揀嚟把撚咩。」蝦滑講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29T63QNcN3

同佢嘅相遇明明只係好短，我哋發生嘅事都好微少，甚至好難想像有人會因為呢啲咁少嘅事而受到影響而想去改變自己。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZkpe3ucvz

或者我本來心入面都覺得差唔多要解決我嘅感情問題，而咁啱俾我遇上蝦滑嘅問題。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcn4X2Fy1n

兩者一拍即合，令我將兩者自動重合並迫使我認真地反思，再將反思化為行動。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzma7UGitCT

人就係咁，無人會估到一啲咁細微嘅事會牽動到自己咁多，好多嘢都預計唔到。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oz0YinV5y

我決定要係兩個女生中真正地揀好一個。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxAuuNiNZG

用『真正地』係因為小璇而家係我女朋友，但係我唔係全心全意鐘意佢，正確啲嚟講係我愛唔上佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJi3wt25fu

因為我當年不負責任咁「食咗再算」就同小璇一齊，結果之後偷偷地食埋阿敏。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGqtVqGiOl

同阿敏斷聯後一年我又好熱切同佢重修舊好，之後我哋又發現大家都仲鐘意對方。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMx0MIi4pi

廿幾歲人，真係要成熟啲。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIWT1oVcH7

一個mk妹都可以為自己嘅行動咁有承擔嘅時候，我作為一個男人真係唔可以再扭扭擰擰。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHA0GPUUml

我要同小璇講分手，淡咗、無感覺就分手啦。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcALYYiiRTP

但要確補阿敏會同我一齊我先會同小璇分手，好賤但係都要以自己為先。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXyRpzTr5v

要諗下幾時講，同埋點樣講，好彩傻仔腎有幫我寫到稿。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S1H981ivI

另外，講之前氹返阿敏又好唔好？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dLnjlxSYL

阿敏要走啦，我要係佢走前氹返佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB6U8gpkZy

於是呢個星期六我返咗屋企，去對面，㩒鐘。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0l9AD7LqC

揀星期六係因為我知阿敏今日會係屋企。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCBeNa5IhU

阿敏家門打開。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9ALWI3VmF

「咩事？」門內嘅阿敏講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpseSvbwGcw

「之前發你脾氣好對唔住。可唔可以原諒我？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlKlbkgJ4i

「唔原諒。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8e35YK8DM8

「對唔住，係我錯。」我再道歉。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9KIRZwFy3

「多啲？」阿敏已經原諒咗我，我知佢依家只係想我氹氹佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX41JyV0Ckz

「係我衝動所以傷害到你，依家請你落去食糖水啦。」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxCUH5XePJ

「再多啲。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFtzy4DmBf

「你想要啲咩呀？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnsBVUW6XV

「你點解要問我呀！明明你係嚟氹我，一啲心思都無！」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkMszVpknL

「帶你去玩點睇呀？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb2ZiEoTSh

「去邊到玩先？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AxvD7hqIO

「迪士尼？我請。」我同小璇不時去迪士尼，小璇送咗將全年飛俾我，請佢去嘅話買一張飛就夠，慳錢又慳力。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2Pt2PlWg6

「你有鬼錢請我呀！」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmJt7eQxQ9

「有！呢排都有返工，有多幾個錢。」補習真係好好搵，工時短加工資高。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY29QEXuf3f

「幾時去？」阿敏俾迪士尼吸引到啦。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11m4X4VtOX

「星期二去？」聽日係星期日，唔想去迫人。閒日去小啲人，加上星期二我同阿敏都day off。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUtJe6WztI

阿敏伸隻手出嚟講：「俾定現金嚟先，廢事你走數。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsdhwM9WZF

「唉。」我嘆口氣，再拎個銀包出嚟課金。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXa3GoB64J

啲女人真係好蠱惑，但無計，要氹佢嘅係我。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuukCsqrEof

雙手奉上紙幣，阿敏袋好啲錢之後就叫我出去一齊買餸，佢話今晚要煮飯。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4cdfoyUp8
887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTfn76t1yE

星期一，為咗一齊出發去迪士尼我哋無返hall，我同阿敏係屋企出發再坐地鐵出去。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdtPtHoWAv

迪士尼，入場。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfTXK47DiA

阿敏就好似小朋友咁見到每樣嘢都好興奮。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dDr4Lcj6J

佢見到啲著公仔衫嘅職員就話要去影相。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagoPwHFXKI

「曾志偉呀！我要同佢影相！」阿敏見到米奇老鼠就跳跳下咁話要合照。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hdly4qw4s

今日要聽曬佢話嘅我立刻準備好用佢部手機幫佢影相。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuqy7fNcVx

佢睇我影完嘅相，檢查咗幾次，滿意，無鬧我。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNGV5bt4TF

幫女影相呢樣嘢，我經過小璇訓練之後已經好順手，所以我都幾有信心影得好。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l6Yr0dE2q

之後我哋入去一啲鋪頭到睇下唔同商品，佢戴上米奇老鼠嘅耳飾係頭頂，而我就笠咗個蜘蛛俠頭套，我哋又影咗幾張合照。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGSHedLEOZ

我哋經過條大街行到去城堡前面嘅時候，阿敏又話要影相。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwvkY7wZEk

「你去搵人幫我哋合照！」面對阿敏嘅命令我只有服從，於是我搵咗對情侶幫我哋合照。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulgumrDd2E

我將阿敏嘅電話交俾情侶，然後我同阿敏肩並肩企。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCNZhJH3iG

用手機影相無聲，所以我唔知佢哋影咗相未。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeWHTjrgMO

就係我等待嘅時候，阿敏牽起我手。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKKBVqW064
887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSQQNSUEA6
887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMtcC6vepL

對情侶還返部電話俾我哋嘅時候我無睇到啲相，所以我唔知道電話相簿入面有冇我哋拖手嘅相。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hgf2o0fKm

我無特登去睇相，因為之後我哋都一直拖住手。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJXTEWYVAN

「阿敏？」我叫佢個名。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aISqVrdas

「唔好問，我哋就咁樣一日。」阿敏用力拖實我隻手。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq1fMJThmQ

我無問點解佢要拖住我隻手，明明咁抗拒同一齊，但依家又咁輕描淡寫咁拖住我隻手。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBvS37BLXO

唔好去問，唔好去深究。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoeJzFR27B

問咗就可能會失去，唔好考慮其他嘢，享受當下就好。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUA4sQt8xCH

我同佢只係得返一個月。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqCiRzYxWU

咁正常人去迪士尼都會玩下機動遊戲，但係我哋無。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiPxeacNsz

每一次問阿敏玩唔玩機動遊戲，佢都話唔想玩。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8X5Qjq9WSo

去到旋轉木馬前面，我哋又搵咗對情侶幫我哋影相。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXMzRnRISC

阿敏係人哋準備緊嘅時候抱住我，我都攬返住佢，我哋就好似真係一對情侶咁相擁。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEjOHUvRgq

幫我哋影相對情侶俾返部手機我哋嘅時候有啲尷尬，因為阿敏唔肯放手，仲埋頭係我胸口前唔肯離開。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnImnM6oXy

我哋之後淨係拖住手係迪士尼周圍行同埋影相，一個機動遊戲都唔玩好似有啲浪費。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ4glOP6cg

所以我問：「玩唔玩咖啡杯？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVY0dQc0og

「你好想鬆手咩？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoQBKJ5VfT

「想同你玩下啲機動遊戲姐，難得嚟到。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wuJvwudb1

「嚟到呢到影下相已經好足夠。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RhM3urgMc

「咁不如去睇下4D劇場？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFJuYEezME

「都好呀。」我拉住阿敏入咗去一個類似戲院嘅地方，入去之前我哋就戴上咗睇4D嘅專用眼鏡。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48vIHlMwir

搵個位坐底，我哋靜靜咁拖住手睇戲。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6SfrhxVoK

平淡。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FPKgJd8VB

無刺激嘅機動遊戲，但係都好有趣，又玩得好舒服。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEmu2OwQU7

唔需要擔心女方有冇玩得盡興，因為我知道佢就咁行行企企加影下相已經好開心。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt77k8jOwf

無玩太多嘢，一般人或者會覺得好可惜，俾咁多錢入去迪士尼但就無玩盡佢，但係我哋兩個嘅話，唔需要啲刺激嘢，平平凡凡咁fing下就已經好滿足。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4kdJPEEij

呢樣算係我哋兩個獨有嘅腳步。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60KmTEofdh

我哋拖住手走勻成個迪士尼，就好似我哋真係情侶咁。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8CpOrzxwj

但係我哋唔係。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8U4BmPJOD

「多謝你，呢次係我第一次嚟迪士尼。可以同你一齊嚟真係太好啦。」阿敏發自內心嘅微笑令我都會心微笑。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaEeInFEmg

「氹返你姐！同埋你都就嚟要走。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuo08FoMO1

「我會返嚟架。」阿敏篤一篤我條腰，再攬住我。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJr8oljDdX

阿敏今日好主動，但我怕佢只係為咗珍惜最後嘅時光而咁做。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyLAXwNgkU

因為如果係咁嘅話，根本就乜嘢都無變過。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwveVx2ykkS

不過，我都攬返住阿敏。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48YtoVUINy

係迪士尼城堡下我哋相擁，對望。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB3YZnRqaZ

個世界好似慢慢失焦，背景化成一個又一個波點，而我哋就成為咗世界嘅中心。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDogS2h2zZ

我哋都係對方嘅眼珠見到自己，亦都見到對方同只有對方。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaVEGO5Z8o

就係煙花聲同人嘅喧鬧聲爆發都最激昂嘅一刻時，我哋將世界拋棄，係一個只有我哋嘅世界入面擁吻。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgOerSmY1Q

心跳加速，單純嘅心動。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRLlP4aI1h

長吻過後世界慢慢恢復原狀，消失咗嘅人都突然出返曬嚟，但係我哋仲凝視住對方。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtzoOb3IYG

我再將阿敏拉入懷內抱緊。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4qquzUhU9

呢個先係我鐘意嘅女仔，另一個我可以放棄。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtSrzxkYEr

「重差啲嘢。」阿敏輕輕咁推開我，再故弄玄虛咁講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzKvh9NxVa

「我會同小璇分手。」我下定咗決心。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwsVu0DL2f

「你自己諗清楚。」阿敏之後都無繼續拖住行返屋企，但都好舒服。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiCScJm3s6

我有女朋友。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz53o3uIRO

我有女朋友，但係拖住另一條女行迪士尼。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXHYyR0KUD

但係我已經對女朋友無感覺，培養咗咁耐都係無感覺，就證明我哋真係唔適合一齊。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyXrljRB83

係時候分手啦。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTlLm8ie5j

香港真係好細，偷食一定俾人知。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJvu3Z8Gye

我拖住阿敏行迪士尼嘅相，由小璇嘅朋友影低咗再send咗俾佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22y5LG2OPw

翌日，教完書去緊將軍澳地鐵站想坐車返hall嘅時候，小璇打咗電話俾我。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5EevRSTMd

小璇：「係邊？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwobArhj2H1

我：「將軍澳地鐵站。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPdDUbrneM

「有啲嘢問你。唔好上車，過去海傍，Donki對面嘅長凳等，15分鐘後到。」小璇好冷淡咁一口氣交代好多嘢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncMpaRYwJE

佢心情聽落好曳，我未答佢，佢就cut咗我線。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnCLokeUzQ

問唔到詳情嘅我唯有去小璇提出嘅地方，面對面問個究竟。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzzoN7wKcm

我未行到去避雨亭嘅長凳，見到我行緊過去嘅小璇就急步行去我嘅方向。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQPeljkNzc

「做⋯⋯」我未問完，小璇就打斷我。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vWAZPfcrd

「你琴日係咪同第二條女去迪士尼？」小璇充滿住怒氣咁問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKwWdfc5B3

仆街啦，佢知道咗啦。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbTRQQFXZQ

腦袋係呢一刻瘋狂加速，到底呢個炸彈，點拆好？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHsw0M7LWs

搞唔掂，諗唔到點樣可以化腐朽為神奇。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6upkiFj9V8

斷正無得兜。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA47tmMNHJ

或者唔洗拆？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHU7tZIYqs

我都忍夠收埋咁多嘢，其實好累。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aMnvsIR2O

又要呃住小璇，又要欺騙自己，又要同阿敏拖拖拉拉。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEgEsPIw8h

反正我已經無咁鐘意小璇，就算佢因為呢段感情而受傷，我都唔會太過於心有愧，吧？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv94oeZUzr

又或者，要好似傻仔腎咁講，要負責任、要對做過嘅事有所承擔。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAez2M5QrB3

反正我都對小璇無感覺，就算佢傷心同憎我都好，其實我都唔會有咩傷害。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMkBypL15Z

如果佢要唱我係賤男嘅我都唯有自己承受返呢個惡果。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5yVEAdUho

我肉體同心靈都出過軌，重遇阿敏後我又立刻精神出軌。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXXj4S8fLx

當時，我有冇諗過背叛會傷害到小璇？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYcwD7cVCL

追本溯源，由小璇感受到我唔太鐘意佢嗰一刻開始，傷害已經存在。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadDTQ4kPIt

依家只係雪上加霜。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsU9XKCc4T

我呃自己，呃咗好多年話自己唔鐘意阿敏，但係呢幾年嘅感受話我知，我已經愛上咗呢個女仔，即使佢拒絕過我，我呢份感情都仲係到。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1ARz2vQaB

我呃自己，我話同小璇拍拖就會慢慢愛上佢，但係無。我同佢更多嘅係新鮮感同刺激，慢慢仲變埋習慣，有冇愛過我真係唔肯定。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOgPDUY5IN

但係新鮮感同刺激感已經無曬，我都諗過幾次不如分手，只係因為未追到阿敏而唔散。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDzKJtYvAQ

蝦滑話我知，人要對感情坦誠，即使對方會因此而遍體鱗傷（非物理），我哋都要老實面對自己嘅感情。至於後果，我要自己去承擔，無論幾痛苦，我都要為自己做嘅事負責。最少都要同對方講清講楚。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11otTB90OD

好累，好仆街。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84KeTCeElB

好好咁斬纜，唔好再對小璇添加傷害。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZQVIZTWMj

「分手好唔好？」我講。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ822hRzTZr5

小璇聽完後眼泛淚光，佢捉住我隻手：「我唔係要追究你出軌，只要你識返屋企就可以。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8fIM5jLTN

我無即刻應到佢，小璇又開始講：「你知唔知我鐘意你嘅契機係啲咩？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58ApZkQlAH

「依家講，重要咩？」我反問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQIVELJLjO

「依家係我做錯事？」小璇有啲兇狠咁答。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzpBLoBwns

「唔係。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuTjdAbZr5

「咁你聽我講。中學嘅時候，我係因為你先加入足球隊做打雜。係我加入足球隊之前，我父母嘈緊離婚、我係學校又俾女仔嘅圈子排濟，一個中二嘅女仔根本承受唔到咁多壓力。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kU1RVXpW1

「咁同我有咩關係？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLuWTEh1LO

「就係我最痛苦嘅時候你出現咗。我哋每一個group project都一組，慢慢我就多咗好多機會去了解同認識你。我哋第一次一組做project嘅時候，我哋約好咗係班房傾嘢，結果遲到嘅你一入到嚟就見到我係班房到喊？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGVpXY3EKq

「記得。之後我俾咗粒糖你。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjrrncHs4Q

「嗰粒糖俾咗我好大鼓勵。你嗰陣仲同我講，你話我無論幾痛苦都好，只要人衷心希望，就一定會有人係你身邊幫你。明明當時都唔係太熟，但係你就同我講只要有需要，你都會全力幫我。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd096HHFvk

我都唔記得我講過啲咁中二病嘅嘢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHgzj4qRsB

「對唔住。」我唔知講咩好。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy62AvkUPq9

「唔係，同埋我未講完。之後你仲拉咗我去學校天台睇日落，見到夕陽嘅時候，我好似諗通咗好多、暢快咗好多。係一個女仔最痛苦、最需要他人幫手嘅時候，對嗰陣時嘅我嚟講，你就好似黑暗中嘅一盞燈，將我嘅世界照亮。自此之後，我就一齊都好留意你同好想接近你，或者話我好想去了解你，所以我就去咗足球隊幫手。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFGt8B24oR

「就只係一粒糖同一番說話，你就鐘意咗一個人？」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vRhWW2oVA

「當時有嘅只係好感。但係，隨著時間過去，我哋相處嘅時間愈嚟愈多，對朋友嘅義不容辭，對需要嘅人唔會憐惜去伸出援手，唔怕蝕低去幫人，呢啲種種嘅特質令我慢慢鐘意咗你。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t2Jeq3zb6

「咁樣唔係接受到我出軌嘅原因。」我打斷小璇嘅回憶，我只係想解決同佢嘅關係一過去係點，我無興趣知。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8btYUToOS

「我想表達嘅係，同你拍拖之後，我唔覺得自己可以同其他人一齊。我覺得你就係最特別嘅一個，無論如何我都唔想離開你。你對嘅存在、你對我嘅救贖唔會有第二個人俾到我。所以一時嘅過錯就由佢。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL5RunPW4T

救贖？佢玩到咁撚大，係哋準備情緒勒索？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jtBFn1MqN

「我唔明白。」我真係唔明點解咁樣都會鐘意到接受到出軌。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMSHSNrCsa

「唔緊要，我只係想講只要你最後揀我，我就可以。」小璇紅住眼、忍住淚水講。

「咁點解你要提起出軌呢件事？你係接受到嘅點解要講出嚟？」我問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlqxwQgfzw

點解我要問？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSItz6kpEtv

點解唔可以乖乖地收皮？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQMurQR1hM

女朋友連出軌都接受到，有咩唔好？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkv2kQKUIR

小璇無叫我解釋，無問點解，佢乜都無問。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwe4YMDeEa

佢只係想我留返係佢身邊。

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTqBWxuOR8

我回唔回應到佢嘅死心塌地？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXg4oSdEFZ0

「應承我，唔好有下一次就得。」

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWZ7NRztif

小璇點解要忍到呢個地步？一個女仔點解可以承受咁多委屈？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHIZM8foD0

阿敏都就嚟走，咁佢走咗，小璇就係我最就手嘅選擇，咁仲分唔分手？

887Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5hZXf4R5D

明明已經下定過決心。

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又扭擰。

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今次我真係唔想再拖啦，就一次徹底咁傷害小璇，然後終結啦。

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「我已經唔鐘意你。同出軌無關係，係我唔鐘意你。」我講。

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雖然做錯事心虛嘅應該係我，但係我意圖反客為主。

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唔洗同佢解釋咁多，一句已經夠。

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阿敏係我邊個，我同阿敏嘅關係係點樣，一句都唔洗解釋，無必要。

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我無直視小璇，但係我聽到佢係到抽泣：「⋯⋯我⋯⋯我有咩唔好⋯⋯唔好走啦⋯⋯我真係唔介意⋯⋯留係我身邊就可以⋯⋯」

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唔洗解釋，拖落去只會動搖到我嘅決心。

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拖到去嘅話小璇就會開始求我，然後我就會心軟，之後繼續同佢一齊。

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然後，一切又會重覆。

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While loop with no break。

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呢一刻係打破呢個輪迴嘅時機。

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我唔想再一齊啦，無感覺啦，走啦。

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我無回答小璇，我向住佢屋企嘅反方向走。

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小璇坐咗係地下喊。

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呢個唔知點解會咁愛我嘅女仔、呢個主動同我告白、呢個同我交往咗一段時間嘅女仔，我今日同佢講分手。

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我傷得佢好深。

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唔太鐘意佢都同佢一齊。

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一齊嘅時候佢感受唔到愛。

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要愛佢嘅時候我牽起咗另一個女仔嘅手。

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或者我要改名做陳庭佳。

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但係，未來嘅日子我唔洗要欺騙他人、唔洗再呃嚟呃去、唔洗再偷偷摸摸。

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我唔回頭，由得小璇自己係海旁喊。

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唔洗再煩啦。

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我終結咗一段煩心嘅關係，傷害咗一個對我好嘅人。

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無得返轉頭，有啲傷心，我嘅身體好重。

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但心靈就似如釋重負。

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釋放嘅感覺慢慢取代虧欠人嘅自責，或者我一直無愛上到小璇先會咁。

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星期一，分手了。

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我無傷心不得止仲有啲開心。

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睇嚟我真係陳庭佳。

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