「C牌的亞洲代表試鏡。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA8PwwdvcyAa
29Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZK2P54jJC
小川鈴把試鏡通知書列印出來,擺在星野莉奈面前,「這是所有模特兒夢寐以求的機會。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAvs4oWy6NuA
29Please respect copyright.PENANAwr4SV0IY9j
「巴黎總部親自點名、名單未公開、全球同步關注。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAvNU1y37iRd
29Please respect copyright.PENANAZlexkvabPR
——光是這些條件,足以讓任何人心動。29Please respect copyright.PENANAdh3ujzwNYo
29Please respect copyright.PENANAJVJ04WZdVN
小川鈴頓了頓,語氣依然穩定:「妳這幾個月的成績都有被看見。這次被點進名單,不是運氣,是對妳現階段的認可——也是,該來的考題。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAHF6Yzk6I38
29Please respect copyright.PENANAIxCBXx191H
小川鈴看著星野莉奈,沒有過分鼓勵,也沒有任何威脅:29Please respect copyright.PENANAKUMcJsKCOv
29Please respect copyright.PENANA4aKrbCOUAP
「競爭會很激烈。但不去就沒有機會。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAi34Yp44B3t
29Please respect copyright.PENANAy8HCrABSLM
星野莉奈看著那張紙。遲遲沒有伸手接過去。29Please respect copyright.PENANAkwr1tLZllK
29Please respect copyright.PENANAWmGGePFDu9
她當然知道,這種通知不會無緣無故落在誰桌上。29Please respect copyright.PENANA6WQuKxphaj
一旦去了,她的名字可能就不只是「星野莉奈Rina」,而是——「被C牌點過名的星野莉奈Rina」。29Please respect copyright.PENANAQyNS6wWn3m
29Please respect copyright.PENANAlJw8d7MTLN
但她的手還是沒動,那張紙太輕,也太重。29Please respect copyright.PENANASJVWf4Xss1
29Please respect copyright.PENANAxxvtxVEXzw
她在回家後,陷在客廳的沙發裡,一動也不動地盯著那封轉寄來的email。29Please respect copyright.PENANAvTt2pwP8zX
信件標題像在提醒她:「這裡是世界的門口,請進來。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAAdfYugIIJF
29Please respect copyright.PENANAgssz8uGZsW
機會來了。29Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6B5xAz9HW
星野莉奈不怕上台、不怕鏡頭,也不怕一句話就讓萬千視線聚焦在自己身上的高風險。29Please respect copyright.PENANAziqhUn26xm
29Please respect copyright.PENANA3HG3fKRLZ2
但她的視線,卻一次次地被手機畫面拉走——29Please respect copyright.PENANAjMxpomIYcY
29Please respect copyright.PENANAh1sAqWEMb9
對話框的頂端,仍是糸師冴的名字。29Please respect copyright.PENANA92ncE73coT
她沒有傳訊息、也沒問他意見,只是靜靜看著那個名字,像是在凝視一個她不敢離開的座標。29Please respect copyright.PENANALxijraeHMp
29Please respect copyright.PENANAOZLrybSsa9
她試過說服自己:「五天而已,拍完就回來。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAWTYZhJ3lEb
也試過安慰自己:「這是躍升一線模特兒的機會,是為了更長遠的未來。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAYK3cO3DL6j
29Please respect copyright.PENANAuQhXjXonKg
她抬起頭,目光落在客廳牆上的那張等身海報。29Please respect copyright.PENANAf6Nn7BeIgn
照片中的模特兒笑得優雅而自信,眼神清澈得像能穿透濃霧,彷彿正對她低語:29Please respect copyright.PENANAag4pL6yLOc
29Please respect copyright.PENANABuJQRhXS5g
——這是屬於妳的舞台,它在等妳走上前來。29Please respect copyright.PENANA2X8zr7s2gP
29Please respect copyright.PENANAQHRmfXiGKc
像某個信念,正在輕聲召喚——29Please respect copyright.PENANACxCkOV60dO
但餘音尚未散去,心底已悄悄響起另一個聲音:29Please respect copyright.PENANAfUMI5jXEqT
29Please respect copyright.PENANAlhazw0gQ89
那他呢?29Please respect copyright.PENANAJwEVywxs6z
29Please respect copyright.PENANAkftwhX877s
現在的他,正在經歷人生最大的轉型期,不是嗎?29Please respect copyright.PENANASqzxr67SXx
29Please respect copyright.PENANAblZbUIAiO6
他從沒說出「留下來陪我」,但她知道,那場雪夜、那個公園裡他們無聲重逢的夜晚——所有的沉默與靠近,都是他僅存的脆弱表達。29Please respect copyright.PENANAphB3awY38A
29Please respect copyright.PENANAKVSzo4jmmh
冴這個人永遠不會求助——他會撐著,什麼都不說。29Please respect copyright.PENANAUPAU6tVgKZ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAO34yfoH1EF
她從沒問過自己能幫上什麼忙,但她始終記得:無論有沒有人看見的日子,都是她遞過熱奶茶、把練習球傳過去的。29Please respect copyright.PENANAAttjrKfI4f
29Please respect copyright.PENANASFvqUkgaWK
就算只是站在場邊,她也覺得,那是她的位置。29Please respect copyright.PENANABwcDaQVq0D
29Please respect copyright.PENANA5xYnmwAAfY
她不是不想走上更大的舞台。29Please respect copyright.PENANAGEBHdSt2OR
她只是害怕,一轉身,就再也找不到他了。29Please respect copyright.PENANAeh8yp1uNcF
29Please respect copyright.PENANA6gDILvhEa6
就像下雪的那夜,如果她沒有出現在那裡,如果她沒有選擇追上去⋯⋯她連感知他的機會都沒有。29Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3BzuOeBrw
29Please respect copyright.PENANAI9U4zw2xs9
她指尖緊緊按住手機,像這樣就能把即將被拉遠的距離留住。29Please respect copyright.PENANA9Iqfz7Dipa
29Please respect copyright.PENANAhLFF4eFpl4
她不是沒懷疑過,這份「想陪在他身邊」的情感,是不是一種逃避?好讓她有個名正言順的理由,不去面對外面那些莫名其妙的質疑跟嘲諷。29Please respect copyright.PENANAXMmfCmOXM4
29Please respect copyright.PENANAe8Cu7LD66y
她記得自己在他身邊吱吱喳喳的模樣。記得自己不需要去展現「最好」、「最剛好」的樣子。29Please respect copyright.PENANAQbmKrFyQk6
29Please respect copyright.PENANAl0Ob4O3uqI
就算他們相隔了四年的空白,但他只要在,她就不需要去那樣展現。29Please respect copyright.PENANAjOhYgbWBML
29Please respect copyright.PENANA6FkocjQanp
越是這樣想,她就越確定——29Please respect copyright.PENANAg0Piq5ZEGr
只有靠近他,只有在他身邊,她才有一種「不用收起自己」的安全感。29Please respect copyright.PENANACBfNYfnlEq
29Please respect copyright.PENANAo86yqJO0nU
那不是戀愛的幻想,也不是任性的依賴——而是她最深處、最真實的判斷。29Please respect copyright.PENANATRRUTd7d7V
29Please respect copyright.PENANAPYRBenJfDJ
在這個什麼都得拿捏分寸、不能露出破綻的行業裡⋯⋯只有那個人,可以讓她不覺得自己很糟、不怕自己很吵、不用害怕任何失敗——29Please respect copyright.PENANAf8ixDGQyXb
29Please respect copyright.PENANAO6d5wo2dwd
現在,她想用同樣的方式,站在他身邊。29Please respect copyright.PENANALzEeAjxJnh
29Please respect copyright.PENANAxUoPLWmrJg
——可巴黎在那一端,機票是明天早上十點的。29Please respect copyright.PENANAtjlCY2ann9
29Please respect copyright.PENANATGa6TM30IY
而她,想去。29Please respect copyright.PENANA8Pm010St5e
29Please respect copyright.PENANAgiZ5U6o0mj
不是不想飛,而是不確定,離開的這幾天,會不會錯過某些他需要她的時刻。29Please respect copyright.PENANAFgn2XDb3e8
29Please respect copyright.PENANA4ufLkAm7hh
指尖在手機和email間來回滑動,心裡的鐘聲一下一下逼近。29Please respect copyright.PENANAD9z8KPP1R4
29Please respect copyright.PENANAwwbSCgagoC
她明知道該出發了,卻怎麼也停不下那個念頭——29Please respect copyright.PENANAIALjMDtM4r
29Please respect copyright.PENANAtyg2W9EcAi
「他如果在練球時,突然狀態崩了怎麼辦?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1esApzpN4
「如果又出了什麼事,他會不會又一個人撐著?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAKypJMNVBa3
29Please respect copyright.PENANA3h96etQ8c8
星野莉奈閉上眼,告訴自己這樣的情緒太過矯情。29Please respect copyright.PENANA9P7sxGJmvA
29Please respect copyright.PENANA9lHROppc4q
但下一秒,眼淚還是悄悄浮了上來。29Please respect copyright.PENANAb8yLBGMeSI
29Please respect copyright.PENANAbn4oXWJbvZ
——她真的,好想飛去巴黎。29Please respect copyright.PENANASzs6veCM14
29Please respect copyright.PENANAPcWvKDrvHO
她忽然想起,當年,冴拿到RE・AL的邀請函時,會不會,也有過這樣的掙扎?29Please respect copyright.PENANAPKcHD6SBD9
29Please respect copyright.PENANA5cQkqH2VKt
他不是沒感情的——她知道。29Please respect copyright.PENANAZHN1aYm1ob
29Please respect copyright.PENANAP2kUvJaIZP
在他們家慶功的那晚,他靜靜把彩帶從臉上撥下來。表情安靜得像水,沒有激動,也沒有喜悅,沒有對她跟小凜的舉動潑任何冷水——那種靜,像一種極溫柔、極深刻的道別。29Please respect copyright.PENANAUV3n5dpeg2
29Please respect copyright.PENANAbGvgE4hHfJ
他沒說什麼英雄夢,只是靠著流理台默默坐下來,提起糸師凜,講的全是捨不得。29Please respect copyright.PENANAc6Jf7RqFb0
29Please respect copyright.PENANAKv2FyYcYbJ
而離開的前一天,他們三個人在堤防。他語氣堅定,又像輕聲叮嚀小凜——他不在的時候,不可以放棄足球。29Please respect copyright.PENANAZuQihhNsdJ
29Please respect copyright.PENANATfbAtMqtpy
她想到幾年前,自己第一次在攝影棚拍廣告時的緊張——當時,糸師冴還在西班牙,她每週會主動傳照片給他,問他:「這樣拍,會不會太像在笑?我還是比較想要拍有氣勢一點的。」29Please respect copyright.PENANASwf6Vtgtq3
29Please respect copyright.PENANAdLdfJ8tNrp
他總是回得簡單:「很適合妳。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAkow6A9xHXF
29Please respect copyright.PENANA3JIDGPLWA3
她當時以為那是敷衍,但後來才明白,那是他一貫的語言——節省語氣,連肯定也是。29Please respect copyright.PENANASbED9XRzJZ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAnxqgdlWvvb
那其實也是冴在叫她:29Please respect copyright.PENANA3bI0rszt7i
29Please respect copyright.PENANAbkZDKYjoat
「不要放棄。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAaUA9wYQSjo
29Please respect copyright.PENANA0r5WJ5vuGm
那時候——他是不是也像她現在一樣,走得很遠,心卻一直回頭看。29Please respect copyright.PENANAtkNdqU8ihI
29Please respect copyright.PENANAQm2g92RKcx
她用手背擦掉眼淚,吸了吸鼻子。29Please respect copyright.PENANA2acxQR9z7H
猶豫了一下,還是撥了通電話給糸師冴。29Please respect copyright.PENANAk1a8HxhnU9
29Please respect copyright.PENANAcvJQac3T1G
『喂?』電話裡傳來他熟悉而略顯低沉的聲音。29Please respect copyright.PENANA9rsbJzSQMe
29Please respect copyright.PENANAzGlADGJFbG
「冴,今天訓練還順利嗎?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAsRnuJhFzcK
29Please respect copyright.PENANAYaBaI6jYYL
『還行。妳⋯⋯怎麼了嗎?』29Please respect copyright.PENANAJeBNNPAKdw
29Please respect copyright.PENANAHRarQoPFNH
「嗯⋯⋯我跟你說哦,我今天收到一個還不錯的試鏡邀請。」她的語氣聽起來輕鬆又淡定,彷彿只是隨口一提:29Please respect copyright.PENANAXszzMLbaCj
29Please respect copyright.PENANACrujZzBDz7
「說不定,我會去歐洲拍攝。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAu769KCr8Jw
29Please respect copyright.PENANAjonqEvcHuq
電話那頭,糸師冴沉默了一會,不知道他是在斟酌什麼,還是根本什麼都沒想:29Please respect copyright.PENANAb0aWsw6hny
29Please respect copyright.PENANAoD6FjDWnPQ
『很好啊,妳早就應該去歐洲試試了。』29Please respect copyright.PENANA7v6vLFG3ux
29Please respect copyright.PENANAL3Jxonqj2Y
「是嗎?」她輕笑一聲,「我以為你會說點別的。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAkBxE0LvY1T
29Please respect copyright.PENANAO6oqFjuTWk
『說什麼?恭喜妳,星野莉奈同學?』29Please respect copyright.PENANAlcf8WCcZmK
29Please respect copyright.PENANAagwjX0x0jd
「真沒誠意。」她撇嘴輕哼一聲:「——明天早上的飛機耶,你不說點什麼嗎?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAPNZp1ZneNi
29Please respect copyright.PENANAsEgwyiyxgK
『⋯⋯趕快掛掉電話去收行李,妳的時間管理很差。』29Please respect copyright.PENANARWEaDWLSkf
29Please respect copyright.PENANAlCmVCV8ZQY
「喂——誰在跟你說這個啊!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAT4wSgASUKl
29Please respect copyright.PENANA0mSuBpwyUT
話才講完,電話那頭傳來一聲輕笑——不是冷笑,而是難得、帶著一點溫度的低笑聲。29Please respect copyright.PENANAIIiks8zfCb
29Please respect copyright.PENANAhouRQn4XS4
星野莉奈怔了一下,心跳,不小心漏了一拍。29Please respect copyright.PENANAgfOwZtFAWy
29Please respect copyright.PENANALGg3rCeKdG
他大概不知道——那聲笑,比任何祝福都來得溫柔。29Please respect copyright.PENANAarBUWFE5Oi
29Please respect copyright.PENANASMrCePCYnt
『⋯⋯我知道妳會去。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAAWYie9p4DB
29Please respect copyright.PENANAogKmi55M1X
「你一開始就覺得我會去?」29Please respect copyright.PENANA6kUc4EjYCS
29Please respect copyright.PENANAFjkCmljYEj
『妳從以前就是這樣啊。問別人前,自己早就有答案了——說不去,其實心裡已經在想要帶什麼了。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAk1n8rH4HwT
29Please respect copyright.PENANAyYhMaATY7l
她沉默了幾秒,然後嘴角慢慢揚起,「你真的很討厭欸。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAZwM1hylxzt
29Please respect copyright.PENANAaGg447DYSo
『是妳太容易被讀懂了。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAbsj5nQNZBV
29Please respect copyright.PENANAAPyDTLCBAh
電話裡一時沒了聲音,但氣氛並不尷尬——那是一種熟悉的靜默,是連沉默都像在說話的節奏。29Please respect copyright.PENANAiNKJeJUD0C
29Please respect copyright.PENANA53K6jcFMnH
她終於輕輕開口:「冴。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAVFcnhPNaIf
29Please respect copyright.PENANAfIWnqiy84Q
『嗯?』29Please respect copyright.PENANAOrurpJqlFw
29Please respect copyright.PENANAxOctdN3ZkE
「你不會在我離開這幾天⋯⋯又一個人亂想吧?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAl7mDKY7y33
29Please respect copyright.PENANA2bLGB6vyrq
他沒有馬上回答,只是過了幾秒,才低聲說:29Please respect copyright.PENANAzDBhZtDN3K
29Please respect copyright.PENANAWQ6MrHtNIh
『⋯⋯妳想多了。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAPL1wrc1l6L
29Please respect copyright.PENANASBxz9majPS
「欸!我很認真耶!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAl537NlYk0E
29Please respect copyright.PENANAon7suytnnW
『我才沒空想那麼多。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAVYIJGqelNT
29Please respect copyright.PENANAVx0HgWZhQm
星野莉奈深吸一口氣,強忍住想大笑又大罵的衝動——可最後還是忍不住,在電話裡碎念起來:29Please respect copyright.PENANACx4WZBWDuu
29Please respect copyright.PENANAym3mbzXp48
「我跟你講喔,冴,如果我回來的時候發現你又瘦了、手又凍傷、還一副什麼都沒事的樣子,我真的會生氣。然後我就會當著你隊友的面,直接把你從場邊拖走、狠狠罵一頓,毫不留情的那種。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA57G7pYhKAJ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAnmnSkDCRxj
電話那頭沉默了一秒,傳來一聲極輕的「嗯」。29Please respect copyright.PENANAfwMskHBrmR
29Please respect copyright.PENANAiswe2fq8JL
那一聲應答,不是敷衍,不是無奈,而是一種,她從他口中很少聽見的溫柔——像是用極有限的語言說:「我會照做。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAUyxUe5IxeW
29Please respect copyright.PENANAAHapR9B8Jg
她靠在沙發背上,望著天花板。29Please respect copyright.PENANAJCHsAZ9crL
29Please respect copyright.PENANAN0BALbysPo
「你還要答應我一件事。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAHWcjTJBEaH
29Please respect copyright.PENANAwFA3eYCa7x
『說吧。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAeQGdvWcWea
29Please respect copyright.PENANAVzguYuxtpj
「這幾天你一定要吃飯、要睡覺、要訓練、要記得貼暖暖包、不要自己去踢那種很冷的夜場——還有,如果又出現那種⋯⋯腳不聽使喚的狀況,不准自己一個人悶著。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAYCYKa8oGEK
29Please respect copyright.PENANACxFbIPRQfI
她語氣本來是故作輕鬆的,可說著說著,最後竟有點哽咽。29Please respect copyright.PENANArs01VeAs0S
29Please respect copyright.PENANATDtFrqMTgj
『⋯⋯妳囉唆得跟以前一模一樣。』29Please respect copyright.PENANALlGS4tzvQZ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAAUt31i3QSu
「冴,我是認真的。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA8CEUqCvy2x
29Please respect copyright.PENANALIQ8icMlEc
『我知道。五天而已,又沒什麼。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAb14uAhE4XC
29Please respect copyright.PENANAciUFtFPsAK
星野莉奈大笑出聲,「也是吼——有人一去就是四年,我才五天而已,Piece of cake啦!」29Please respect copyright.PENANA6ldPlzWPUO
29Please respect copyright.PENANAIjuNTetsr4
『囉哩八唆的⋯⋯妳還收不收行李?』29Please respect copyright.PENANAe5TdTEBank
29Please respect copyright.PENANAw3A24Vx8xB
「收啦收啦。不過你要記得喔——如果你覺得心裡有點酸酸的、有點痛痛的,或是耳邊有聽見我的聲音了,就聯絡我,好嗎?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAYEXCi7ezSq
29Please respect copyright.PENANAU4o4Nfe7oX
『⋯⋯我會先去看醫生。』29Please respect copyright.PENANAS7E0M2fumm
29Please respect copyright.PENANAVCbnj4263Y
她笑了,笑得安靜又柔軟。29Please respect copyright.PENANAtxEPKKVfSw
29Please respect copyright.PENANAH6Nlt1UCa9
「——我會記得傳訊息給你,記得拍照片給你看,也會記得回來。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAWKTR1BnIpu
29Please respect copyright.PENANAQn11l5VpN8
巴黎很遠,機票時間不會等人。29Please respect copyright.PENANAxvshZCeLou
29Please respect copyright.PENANApvXXduodtg
她終於打開email,按下確認。手機放在一邊,開始收拾行李。29Please respect copyright.PENANAWd3PXNDdoI
29Please respect copyright.PENANABQYx3ZfIpE
「我回來一定會找你。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAM6SxWk4yLM
29Please respect copyright.PENANAX3ajnxsuO5
只要他還在,站在鏡頭前的那個「星野莉奈Rina」,就能再走得更遠一點。
29Please respect copyright.PENANAKhubTBINqD