同學們面面相覷。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsSAwcWvwb
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqBITP18oH
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNHAe2cW2p
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「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcPhRwsXeR
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「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLsHPzt1xj
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「那改成老不羞好了。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWnoIzfPUI
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「更糟糕了啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hpyKt2Jk9
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「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscHGXoX7Tl
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「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTSYEEbs0F
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「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLVxfsZQYi
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「老師，它正在暖身。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsvVV0VWu0
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「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRunfHuegK
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「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwLbLR9VU0
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「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxv8On8gLD
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「那我改姓三岐。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F7amkxxYK
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「才不是這個意思！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNWkJ06JCW
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPwaMyRbBd
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「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Oo6owg6FV
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「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDEVnfHDUJ
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「元帥好弱。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheljH98uV2
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00XJqCOnEB
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「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCOyx3t7jG
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「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAlJ912Mrx
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「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckOjD2CNsr
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORVYCfItFc
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「老師！別中計啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONAj3QsaNb
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「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcdXKNs3vJ
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「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQyFFT2R8J
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    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1BrdwHIf7
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「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sRNS4CoeV
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「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF9PG1Dc8P
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「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O4A5UgJ6r
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「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnw7PDVIP7
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「什──」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA1XxrrzbV
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「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTUfwW7w9f
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「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOFCz33Bm3
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「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDinWBNuj3
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「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BR0lbAEFy
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qHR8Qz3Zc
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「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhy8dL9fR6
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「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23s0zM4siE
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    賴妍歪頭。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzahRrVM9m
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「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7oKKtCWNW
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「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX03kcubLw9
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「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ChIREIQ7G
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「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4CiZdvUlQ
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「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNhLOqT5XY
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「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtd6FxeM7JH
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「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3ao3kkR8v
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「一加一等於二。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UbhJs5aBw
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「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡau8L62ODtv
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「……咦？」老師愣住了。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdODzei8zj
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「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVmtkXpzKY
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「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjnxjpNyML
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「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22z5hp0SrB
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「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5YzUbIZdv
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    完蛋了。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vCPd6jWA7
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fXqYFQvxl
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「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZIluQa1UR
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「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DBP1pm3Za
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「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkXFO5kR25
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「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi2QtOrOl4
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「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFam6K7ImJ
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「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV40F1RnTu
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「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUjOjSgAnW
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    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5qWdwe6Wj
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「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjbHwZDtXM
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    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LqKISsIzu
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  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemEStNuu8Q

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6R6xNBmp8
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「同學！一加一等於多少！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspL1TwCiKN
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「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC1UEhxRiS
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    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFiTtnIJO5
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「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefYyrI5feU
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「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcLSJxQx01
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「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff4lL6y4d6
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    全班盯著三岐。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav4CvNyoDT
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX19Igxf6kB
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    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBgaygT85c
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfZGGakLkE
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「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f2nLuwyjW
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當日結果：300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLRj2M71Fw
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    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5UbRKPA2X
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    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MaEbm4lLA
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    柳困依然單身。300Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3nKVTVTir